2plus2to22 - Unspoken Devotion.

y’all still beat your meat? lol

Treating myself with some soft Merthur :>

Feeling so so strange today.

This is kind of crazy to even think of writing out but I'm doing it anyway (pending doom?)

I realised I subconsciously categorised my friends into different percentages.

Like, I adore my friends and would absolutely want to see them achieve well in life, because they exist and by existing they deserve to be loved. Still, uuuuuhm, the percentages comes in a form of "how much effort do I push into our relationship with each other" I suppose?

Which is weird to say at least... okay wait, no, while typing this and processing more of my inner thoughts I just had an epiphany.

It's called being biased! Jesus christ, what level of dunce am I surfing at? That's such a normal thing to even mope over and feel guilty about. Hello?

I think the person I once was and the person I wanted to be in the future are both starting to slip away.

I wanted to do so much and be so many things all at once, but it all feels more and more unachievable as everyday passes by.

I'm so scared. Is this a cry for help?

I don't know. All I know is that I appear fine to everyone else, so I should be fine.

I'm stuck in the past because I'm forced to stay put. What else do I have than the memories that were once built?

I wish I could remember. If I don't hold on then it's all gone and then I AM gone too.