Wally: Wow, Dick, You Want To Hold My Hand Before Marriage? How Awfully Lewd Of You.

🦇Bruce Wayne Headcanons 🦇

- Bruce wears reading glasses and puts them on whenever he needs to see something up close, so there’s a good chance if you walk in the bat cave you will see Batman squinting through a pair of cheap reading glasses at the bat computer.

- He smells good, but as he’s gotten older he’s beginning to smell like an old man.

- You cannot tell me Bruce has the loudest ringtone on earth and he stalks his whole family ( Including Red Hood) on Life360.

- “Live Laugh Love”

- He will try to use words to seem hip in front of his kids and it fails horribly. Example:

(Bruce picks Damian up from school)

Bruce: How was your day today, son?

Damian: tch. not too irritating, I guess.

Bruce: That’s very poggers.

Damian: 🤦

Jason : *Stubs their toe* FUCK!

Bruce: Mind your language!

Jason : What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

Bruce*bruce looking unimpressed but speechless*: …….

Stephanie : You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

I was 300 page into a Stephen king book and thought. I was safe i thought wrong.

Stephanie: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!

Jason: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

Bruce : Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Selena: Hi, I’m ‘things

Diana: Why are you on the floor?

Bruce: I'm depressed.

Bruce: Also I was stabbed, can you get Clark, please.

Bruce: Here's some advice

Dick: I didn't ask for any

Bruce: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

Kon: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Tim: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Kon: Stop.

Duke: Hey, you want some leftovers?

Tiffany: What's that?

Duke: You've never had leftovers???

Tiffany: No, because I'm not a quitter.

Nightwing : You love me, right, Batgirl ?

Batgirl : Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.