I've Heard Kevin Tell A Story About The Batman Audition, But Never This Story. I Did Not Expect To Cry

Definitely not going to make stat blocks for all these and use them later or anything...Definitely not

core classes as undead :)

Comic strip artists from the 40’s draw their characters while blindfolded

Adding this to my reading list right quick👀👀👀

Silverwing opens as sort of Watership Down xenofiction where it’s the modern world as seen from the perspective of bats, but then it establishes that the supernatural is emphatically real but very specifically only for bats.

Bats intrinsically have magic is based around echolocation, and can use sounds to sing images and maps into other creatures’ minds. Bat magic can create echoes that last for generations. A bat oracle listens to echoes from the future. A bat uses bat magic to turn himself into a human. The bat afterlife is a real physical location you can go to, it’s ruled by Bat Satan and you can bring a bat back from the dead by pulling their bat soul out of bat hell like Bat Orpheus.

And honestly more xenofiction should do “Magic is real but humans haven’t noticed because the universe isn’t about them”

The Dragon of Wantley is a ballad written in the seventeenth century and it’s still one of the funniest things I’ve read

Like it’s all about a knight who goes out to kill a dragon and the first thing he does is put on a suit of armor covered in spikes. And everyone reading the poem who has a passing knowledge of English folklore nods and goes “Hm yes like the Lambton Worm. So the dragon is going to wrap itself around the knight and get skewered, a very common image in folklore”

But what actually happens is the knight just kicks the dragon in the ass, the dragon makes a soliloquy for two verses, and fucking dies

The Cremation of Sam McGee (Part 1 of 2)

Part 2

This is am amazing DM. You don't find many like this, and you should treasure them when you do.

My DM for our weekly DnD game recently moved to California. It’s been sad and we miss him. He DMs now via Zoom and we’ve got a really nice set up so he feels very present. Today while DMing he had us rolling investigation in a library. He said the books title was Is Sex Necessary? When we all seemed puzzled he prompted, “You two should know… Is Sex Necessary?”

My girlfriend and I were stumped. “We should know or our characters should know?” I asked.

“You!” He insisted.

We looked at each other in bafflement repeating “Is Sex Necessary!?” “Is Sex Necessary…?”

“It’s on your bookshelf!” He exclaimed. So we went over to investigate and sure enough, a slim volume stood on the shelf titled Is Sex Necessary? The whole group, all four of us, clustered around to inspect the book.

It honestly didn’t occur to me to investigate the book for clues, I opened the cover hoping to see a hint as to its origins, and inside found a paper note with my DMs distinct handwriting that proclaimed, “Secret! Do not open!”

It turns out he planted notes in several books over two months ago specifically for this eventuality. Each note had a hint for defeating beholders (which he knew we were gunning to fight after being extorted by one) and were sprinkled through many books. He’d say, “An earth genasi explorer wrote this account called Feet of Clay,” and I’d go pull down my Terry Pratchett book of the same title. Or “A sea faring elf wrote about their study of leviathans in Ship of Magic,” and I’d grab my tattered Robin Hobb to find another note.

It was really cute and immersive and it made him feel a lot closer finding all the little notes he left in our home.

I really expected not to like this character and for him to be a bastard, but this guy is great!

The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.

DM: The orc you see is the biggest goddamn orc you have ever seen in your life

DM: Seven, eight feet tall, four feet broad at the shoulders

DM: And unlike the orc behind the bar, who's kind of schlubby, this orc is just pure muscle

DM: You see these whorls of blue paint traced across the biceps, lines of dark paint traced down from the eyes

DM: A bundle of braids that tumble over one shoulder

DM:

DM:

DM:

DM: And she's wearing a really nice evening gown

The paladin, softly but with emotion: Oh fuck

The Cremation of Sam McGee (Part 2 of 2)

(Part 1)

CLASS CLOWN - A DnD tragicomedy

DnD is all fun and games until that silly one-off joke character you rolled up turns out to be a tortured byronic hero who makes all your friends cry.

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