Eating Water Activated Tape Straight From The Tape Despenser Like Its Fruit By The Foot

Don't let people pressure you into buying more spoons than you need.

Of course, I like all my posts. That's who they're made for.

sometimes your elbow is liked by a little creature in the night, and you just have to live with that

Nothing is worse than bumping your headphones and turning on ambient mode. You're just watching your silly little videos one second, and the next, you're in the trenches during a storm praying to a god who will not answer for a mercy that will not be given.

sometimes you read a book series just to understand it's fanfic better

tummy grumbles have me hauling ass across the store white knuckling the cart, hoping I don't shit myself

Occasionally, when you bite the hand that feeds, it is your own.

Thought the Mountain Dew soda streamer was Mountain Dew scented dryer breads.

*reads period chunks in toilet water like tea leaves*

See these hands. They've been in so many armpits.