250K Twins In Time AU Fic. Full Plot Start To Finish. On My Desk By Monday.

Somewhere out there in the multiverse there exists a Jerk Ford

Not an evil Ford, he's just a massive jerk. To everyone, except (ironically) his own version of Stan.

People didn't exclude him while he was growing up because of his six fingers, but because he was an absolute dick all of the time.

The only reason their high school wanted to send Ford to that fancy college was to send him away and make it way less likely he would ever come back to Jersey.

Stan still breaks his Perpetual Motion Machine, but this version of Ford chooses to believe him when he says it was an accident, and stands up for him when Filbrick tries to kick Stan out.

He still goes to Backupsmore, this time with Stan (who graduated) in tow, and the only reason he and Fiddleford are 'friends' is because Ford still mathematically proved Fiddlefords theory on the Universe being a Hologram, but he rubs it in Fiddlefords face for not proving it on his own.

Backupsmore University only gives Ford the research grant in hope he'll leave and never come back.

The only reason he takes a deal with Bill is because he's going to build that portal, only to never activate it as a 'psych!' on Bill. He doesn't even care he's creating something that would revolutionize science as they know it, he just wants to troll a 'God'.

Stan has to convince (i.e actually beg) Fiddleford to help Ford.

Fiddleford doesn't even accidentally get his head sucked into the portal this time, he leaves because he could only stand Ford for so long before being done (he kept peeling the stickers off the Cubiks Cubes and putting them on different squares so Fiddleford couldn't solve them).

This time Ford goes through the portal, and it breaks, because he accidentally fell asleep in the portal room and got possessed by Bill who tried opening the portal, but Stan had to fight him to stop him, only to accidentally shove Bill!Ford into the portal.

Since Stan and Ford were known to be two separate people the whole time, and Stan just reported Ford as 'Missing' and he never took his identity, the townsfolk assumed he'd actually murdered Ford, but they never question it because they're just so glad that he's gone. They had a celebration and everything. Stan was the only one in town who didn't go.

Jerk Ford goes out into the multiverse and every single other Ford, even the evil ones, absolutely hate this guy because no one can push their buttons better than, well, themself. He's not even a wanted criminal, because none of the dimensions want him there, they want him to be another dimensions problem.

There's a Ford Hate Club that isn't for hating on all Fords, just this one. Most of it is made up of other Fords.

Canon Ford hates him for being a massive jerk, only for Jerk Ford to tell him that biggest difference between them really is that he chooses to not be a jerk to the one person who matters most to them (i.e their twin brother Stan). The one Ford who appreciates his Stan and it's the Biggest Jerk ever.

Jerk Ford is still a jerk to alternate versions of Stanley, too. It's literally just his own that he's not a jerk to.

Thirty years later when Stan fixes the portal and brings him back, everyone else in Gravity Falls is immediately mad at him for bringing him back, including Dipper and Mabel who dislike him as soon as the glamour of a 'cool space Grunkle' wears off. Although, Dipper already disliked Ford before he even met him because his research journals give advice on cryptids that seems helpful, but is actually the opposite. (Like saying people should definitely and exclusively use water on Gremloblins).

The only reason Dipper wanted to find The Author in this dimension is that he wants to punch him in the face for his trolling.

So when Ford comes out of the portal he doesn't try to punch Stan, in fact he goes in for a hug, only for Dipper to punch him instead as soon as he heard 'The Author of the Journals'.

Stan tries to convince Ford to be nice to Mabel and Dipper; Ford isn't necessarily nice to them, but he isn't as big of a jerk as he could have been, which is a lot for him. So he doesn't purposely tangle all of Mabels yarn, or kill off Dippers character in Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons.

Weirdmageddon still happens, but this time it's Dipper who destroys the snowglobe with the rift because he never wanted to be Fords apprentice, so he never knew what the rift was. He ended up breaking it on purpose because he got so sick of Fords shit that he wanted to break something Ford liked.

The reason they couldn't get the zodiac circle together during Weirdmageddon isn't because of Stan and Ford fighting, but because Ford couldn't stop being a jerk for two seconds and Robbie let go of his hand.

Weirdmageddon ends the same as it did in canon, with Stan sacrificing himself because of Fords metal plate, except this time Mabel and Dipper are even more frantic to bring their Grunkle Stan back, because they don't want him to be a blank slate that their Grunkle Ford would influence and possibly turn into another jerk (Which is something Jerk Ford actually wouldn't do, because he loves his brother for who he is).

Old Man McGucket himself personally funds The Stan O'War II expedition (not just the boat itself but stuff like the passports, paperwork, living expenses, ect.) just to keep Ford on the ocean, as far away from other people as possible.

And this is a sane Steve Jobs -esque Old Man McGucket who was never traumatized by the nightmare realm because of Ford. That's how much of a jerk this Ford is.

THE END... Go Home.

The cat stan au is the funniest "Ford and Stan fix their relationship on their late twenties/early thirties" au. Soley bc the author decided that they wouldn't go for Fiddauthor and also didnt not go for Fiddauthor. They made those men coparent a bug together. This is so much funnier than having them just kiss. One of them hates said bug for like a solid month while coparenting him. They aren't even tempted to hook up or date each other but they are parents with one of those men's wife, their roommate who's the others brothers ex, and a magical brother cat They collectively parent Shifty as a unit of five.

For a large chunk of time Fidds was convinced Shifty would eat them in their sleep one night! Imagine coparenting with your college roomate (whos married heterosexually) and he thinks your baby is evil and wants you for lunch! Imagine leaving your family for science with your bestie and said bestie accidentally makes you adopt a kid that you hate bc its a sin against god..

Tate and Shifty became twins with extra steps. Shifty is brothers with Tate and Tate now has new uncles that are sort of parents to his brother. The boys are bros but only really have two parents in common. Which almost sounds normal until you remember that one of them has five parents.

Carla is there sort of parenting Shifty at times but is mostly just a babysitter/roommate and Stan is feeding the bug dead birds. Stan watched his brother treat the alien bug child like a creature in absolute HORROR for at least a few weeks. Stan orchestrated a baby heist (mind you as a cat) bc Ford and Fidds were being bad parents.

This is so much funnier than just making Ford and Fidds have an affair they are instead doing something much more baffling. At least them cheating is simple this is instead a QPR with alot of convoluted steps. They didn't even know they were coparenting till like a month in either.

Oh cat stan au the fanfiction that you are.

Ford "Icarus didn't flap hard enough" Pines

I had this idea and had to force myself to finish my work before drawing it out lol

I have such frustrated feelings about Why Women Kill.

I adored season 1 so much, it was brilliant! The writing was solid, there was a tension to the mystery, parts of it that only unraveled with time.

And this show was actually unique. The way it told three murder mysteries in three different time periods that all shared the same location was incredibly cool. As someone who loves the look of a period piece from the last century, it was so nice to see the costumes, the cars, the sets. The way the show transitioned between time periods too!

That’s not even mentioning the cast, the cast was fucking amazing, I mean, you don’t cast Lucy Liu and don’t get praise for that, that’s a given, but Ginnifer Goodwin and Kirby Howell-Baptiste were also amazing.

An incredibly talented cast that got to work with a solid script in a refreshing concept of story-telling.

And then they just… threw everything unique about the show out of the window in season 2 and made it the most average, mediocre thin, just another run-of-the-mill crime show. Sure, it was still a period piece, but only one period.

The concept of switching between periods, which was the unique and interesting aspect, was gone - and I can only assume that was some stupid greed decision of “oh well, if we keep doing 3 decades a season, we’ll burn through the past century way too fast so let’s slow down!” or something. But I’d rather have had three incredible seasons that had wrapped it on 90 years total and kept the model of story-telling that the show first used, than what the show ended up doing.

Not to mention that there was just… no real… Season 2 lacked appeal. The stories of the three murderesses had intrigue, for one, it wasn’t even entirely clear who would end up the murderer and who would be the victim, and then there was compassion woven in too. They were complex. Season 2 just fell incredibly flat and was so much more predictable.

It was also such a drag. Because it had one story that it told over the span of the same length as season 1, which told three stories. So they stretched this out to trice the length it should have needed.

All of this is to say, I wasn’t surprised when this show got cancelled after season 2, because of course did it get cancelled after season 2. In a sea of shows that get cancelled too early, this one actually did that to itself by self-sabotaging so hard.

And yeah, I’m still mad about that, because I just rewatched Sandman and saw Kirby and was reminded of Why Women Kill season 1 and how great this show could have been if it had kept the anthology format of telling multiple stories within one season, if it had managed to keep even just half the quality of season 1.

“ships should at least make sense.” no. ships can make sense, sure. but they’re just fictional characters we play with for fun. they’re fantasies, not a fucking thesis paper. so no, they don’t always have to make sense. they just have to make you happy (or horny).

let people enjoy (fictional) things however they want to enjoy.

drawing my favourite interaction from the voices >_<

they love a good woman made entirely out of swords.

and the scene ofc

armand is so funny because he really said "after my situationship with lestat i spent 150 years being afraid to love again... until he came into my life.. lestat's ex husband..."

Agamemnon *grumpy & glaring*: this is stupid

Menelaus *twirling*: I think it's neat.

Yeah it’s MAY already so… would you want…

Guys would you SNIFF SNIFF still like me if I post my goobers...SNIFFF Jokes aside I'm super happy with this sketch even if it's a silly doodle To the new people these guys are James, Freddy and Ronnie !! They're from the 40s but like I drew them in modern clothes for no reason OOPSIE