ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིi Really Like You. I'm Gonna Be Really Sad If You Don't Come Back, Unless

Phillipians 4:6

Monday, March 17th 2025

Happy St Patrick's Day. Kiss me, I'm Irish (I'm not Irish).

Today I am feeling very sick n tired of life. Nothing is going well for me. Woke up at 5 in the morning to get ready and leave for school; my morning class got canceled, so I woke up early for nothing. I decided to go out and do some Instacart orders to make money, so I sat in parking lots of multiple stores and got no orders. Had to go to my afternoon class and forgot my jacket and school ID in the car, so I was freezing walking to class, thank god I'm at least wearing a sleeve shirt. I guess I can't blame the universe for all of my problems since a lot of things are my fault.

My grade in microeconomics dropped because I missed class the day before spring break. I constantly feel like a failure. At this point, this blog will become my diary, and every post will make me sound more insane. I'm so tired.

St Patrick's Day reminds me of my mom because it was the last holiday I spent with her before she died. She died on March 18th. For the holiday, we went out with our families to downtown Chicago. I don't think I've been downtown since then. I've gone to different areas of Chicago for concerts, just not downtown. Maybe one day, I will take the train there and explore. Chicago is a ghetto hell hole, though, so we'll see about that.

We could drive forever, my baby

We could leave it all and never look back

If you wanted heaven, baby

Sit back in my pink Cadillac

Thursday, March 19th 2025 "Reminiscing the old coquette community"

How do we feel about this font? I think it's okay, maybe I will use it for future blog posts.

This post might be hard to understand if you're younger or weren't active on tumblr at the time. I started using tumblr in 2019, when I was in 8th grade. Tumblr was the go to place for girls with eds. My best friend at the time also had an ed tumblr. It was pretty common.

Tumblr was how I discovered the coquette/nymphette aesthetic. Nymphette was the more common term at the time. The community seemed different from what it is now. Coquette wasn't just the color pink and bows; it was an aesthetic with many colors and was more vintage Americana-themed. Nowadays, coquette is more dollette. There's nothing wrong with that, but it feels different. Most people in the community bonded over their love for Lana Del Rey, and we romanticized Lolita. Lizzy Grant Summer and Key West Kitten were super popular in 2021; that was a time I remember very vividly. Listening to florida kilos was a daily activity (still is tbh). Wearing heart-shaped sunglasses and wearing gingham print was so fun. Fourth of July 2021, I listened to national anthem in the car on the way to a rural Wisconsin town. What a time to be a teenager.

That time in my life made me the person I am today. There were negative consequences of being in the community, such as being exposed to the older men who wanted to groom you, but all of those experiences made me who I am.

my dear cilla

۶ৎyou're loosing me too a life of my own۶ৎ

Henry, come on