6.8: The Woods, Man

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WLC 4.5: Mother, What Big Snake Butt You Have

Jevoi emerges from the bathroom speaking, "Now, get ready; she's right outside this door." She looks out to Angustias and licks her own eye.

Angustias prepares herself as Dalini steps out with Jevoi. Dalini is wearing an adorable pink dress with a little ribbon tied around her neck.

Dalini stops when she sees the snake-butted demon. "Wuuuuh?"

"Hello, little one," says Angustias, attempting to smile in a way that doesn't look like she's plotting murder, "I am Queen Angustias Maria Lilith Kun, bride of Empress Kun Jevoi, and thus," she lies her serpent body down to get closer to Dalini, "Your mother... er, other mother."

Dalini stares at Angustias; it's an unreadable expression that the gex are quite good at. "What are you?" she asks, "You're really pretty."

Angustias attempts to laugh in a way that doesn't sound she's committing murder. "I'm a marilith, a divine warrior, and that makes you," she says, then scooping Dalini up, "My little soldier." She tickles the princess.

To the side, Jevoi eyes Ling, who sits quietly. Too quietly. She projects a message into Ling's mind, 'Nothing to say, Mum? Not ruining the moment?'

'Don't have to,' Ling projects back, 'That whirlwind of rage will f**k this up eventually.'

'What makes you think that?' projects Jevoi, as Angustias spins around with Dalini laughing in her arms.

'Demons change when they change,' projects Ling, 'She's still war incarnate.'

'Proof?' projects Jevoi, walking up to her wife and daughter. They join in a hug. 'Or superstitious hearsay?'

'Seen it myself,' projects Ling, fiddling with her orb again, 'Succubus learned to love people became an angel.'

"Nana Ning," says Dalini from between her moms, "Come here too."

Angustias sneaks a look of disgust to Jevoi, who shakes her head ever so slightly.

"Hold on, Da," says Ling, standing up, hat covering her eyes, "Aren't ya hungry? Your mum mentioned a chef."

"Right," says Jevoi, releasing the hold, "How about we prepare for dinner?"

Is this what the kids call "drip"?

Pretty excited for tomorrow's The Gaslight District pilot episode :DD

YELLING

Isohachi is an angry old man and his lungs are a weapon.

POV: Some little girl is in the way of the repose of your ancestors.

Isohachi's yell has limited "ammo" shall we call it. It's actually in the code separately from sub-weapons, actual gun ammo, and the gun reloads. Unlike Chihiro's frog, Isohachi's yell startles everyone.

POV: This dam woman is in your dam way.

WLC 2.7: Here We Glow

In total darkness, Ling drops Kalyani's bag and skitters off. "Hold on," she says, "I know it's around here." There's a tapping and creak. A dull light enters the chamber. Ling now stands by a small open door filled with glowing stones. "Great to see ya, again."

Maraja rolls her eyes, then turns her attention elsewhere. The chamber opens into three tunnels, but the small stone structure Ling stands beside has several metal pods attached to its sides. "What is that?"

"Just my current experiment," says Ling, "These pods contain different crops and the paneling shifts over time like the sun." She skitters up onto the building to a valve. "By turning this once a week, it keeps going 'round."

"Are thhosse dangerouss?" asks Kalyani, slithering away and roots through her bag.

"Defo!" says Ling, "With too many, anyway. Like standing in the sun." As Kalyani pulls a torch from her bag and lights it, Ling shuts her door and joins the duo in the center of the chamber. "So, who knows the way to go?"

"Her loving eyes will guide us," say Maraja. She fall to her knees and prays, "Dearest Vanessa, please, show us, on what path did Kirono head?"

A flaming eye suddenly appears in a tunnel and vanishes further in.

J: The gods did something? Hah. L: Two of her followers asked on a quest she assigned one to. J: ... L: We can talk about Vanessa later, Jevoi.

Ling licks her eyes. "South, toward Vrow territory."

"Oh, great," Kalyani shakes her head and takes out a staff, "The worshhiperss of Lmaoth." She conjures a new floating disc.

"Don't jinx it, mate," says Ling, hoisting the bag back on to it.

J: Can you just skip to the castle? L: What? But the purple-stuffed worm- and the tuning fork. D: I want to hear about the worm! J: Fine, just the interesting parts of spelunk. L: I'll do.

"She will protect us," says Maraja, standing, "She will protect us. Let us go forth!" She marches into the tunnel.

WLC 2.4: Ring of Fire

"I must say," says Vanessa, pulling eyes back into formation, "You are the third best I've-" Her flames reignite with a cough. "Mortal! The third best mortal I've-" Vanessa eyes focus on Ling, or rather, the burnt husk of her. The wizard's arms weakly gesturing spells, seemingly indifferent, or perhaps oblivious, to her missing leg. "You two," says Vanessa to Maraja and Kalyani, who still stand at the crossroads of shock and awe, "Aid her, for she now has my blessing to aid you. Priestess, you are to go as well. Assist them..." Vanessa's eyes dart about staring in different directions. "With... the quest they are on. ...I have to go." As the duo run over to Ling, Vanessa's avatar returns to the window.

As the pair begin healing Ling, she attempts to laugh only to cough up charred pieces of her tongue.

"You're a loon," says Maraja, channeling her energy into the roast gecko's chest, "Truly mad."

"Horrifying," says Kalyani, "Yet captivating." She holds the sides of Ling's head, forcing life through her.

"I'm number three," says Ling, weakly, "I am number three." Runes begin tearing open her burnt skin.

The champion runs her hand through her liquid hair and begins rubbing the nearest arm. "Why is that your focus?" She scraps and the skin peels away. "Do you have any idea how long a list that even is?"

"At least three," says Ling. Her voice returning, she yells a spell and a new leg erupts from the scorched stump. "Important rule for keeping patient's calm and out of pain: distraction. Think about anything else." Dr. Ling sits up with enough force to fling the rest of the dead skin off of her front.

"You're a doctor?" asks Kalyani, "I thhought you were jusst the town drunk."

Ling hops up and shakes the rest of her old self onto the floor. "Of biochemistry, but close enough," she says, naked as a hatchling, "Meet me at my place tomorrow morn." She begins running toward the door. "It's the brick house by the Hole."

L: Crazy that she vaporized my clothes. D: Why would she do that? L: Like I said, it was boring adult stuff. Don't mind it. D: But how does- J: Gods are weird, Dalini. They did things like that all the time.

"What's the hole?" asks Maraja.

"I believe shhe meant the entrancce to the Underdank," responds Kalyani, commanding a small wind with a gesture to blow the ashes out. "I can shhow you thhere. Do you need a placce to sstay for thhe night?"

WLC 3.6: A Mother's Rage

Outside of the tower, the spellcasters continue to hold off the undead tide.

"Don't you have anything more offensive, Ling?" asks Oighrig, still floating, still maintaining a barrier above, and now gesturing to have her storm spider rain acid spiders onto the mass.

L: What she was attempting to do was have her acid react to the basic bile of some of the worms, but basic worm bile was pretty rare.

"Sorry," says Ling, sarcasm dripping from the word, "I was told to prepare for an ecological disaster, NOT AN UNDEAD ABOMY!"

Melandria winces, "I mean, it's both of those things..."

"Would have been great to know before I brought my daughter down here," yells Ling, conjuring a giant lemon inside of the wormsworn, "Thought it was just going to be some sick plants or the mold flood came back, but no, it's zombie wormageddon." The lemon explodes. "And then ya've got the nerve to talk about my mum."

"What is wrong with your daughter wanting to know her grandmother?" asks Melandria, her shadow arms fling several worms on the ground into the air.

"My mum's a f******g assassin, Mel," says Ling. She slaps the earth and the worms attempting to burrow under the teeth wall turn to solid stone. "She has killed a s***eton of people. Why do think she moved from the surface?"

"Is this really the right time for this?" ask Oighrig, as she and her storm spider launch bolts of lightning into the airborne worms.

"The sun'll go cold before I let my daughter go down that path!" says Ling.

L: Didn't mean that literally, but good work making it true, Jevoi. Guess I can't stop ya from living your dream now. J: At this point, assassin is a step down, but thanks so much for your permission, Mum.

"I am almost out of things to throw at this," says Oighrig, conjuring a web to trap more worms attempting to burrow.

"Mel, don't ya have another Dark Hole?" asks Ling, conjuring a phantom chef that slices, dices, and juliennes several worms.

"I'm running on empty now, too, Ling," says Melandria, her shadow arms skewering worms onto adamantine spears, "Killing the previous ones took too much out of me."

"How many of these things have you fought today!?"

"This is the fifth," says Oighrig, continuing to order her storm spider's blitz.

"Why did ya wait this late to call me?"

"I thought we could handle this," says Melandria, her shadow arms grabbing and tearing the worms open, "I wasn't expecting it to be this incessant."

"I'ma kick your sexy a**e, Mel!" yells Ling, "If it's not dead the third time ya kill it, it's not staying dead!" Gravity reverses for a group of worms and they are brought helplessly up to the phantom chef's cutting zone. "I'm going to make ya watch me destroy Oighrig."

"What did I do?" asks Oighrig, almost taking her eyes off her spider.

"No, positively!" says Ling, "Ya're doing lovely! Keep not-f*****g-up!"

"Boss, we've got the salt!" says Gish and Gash, hauling a large bag on a makeshift trolley.

"Gash, I'ma kick your a**e, too!" says Ling, pulling a book out of pouch, "I gave you one b****y job, you b******d!" She has the book turn itself to the right page. "F**k it, Gish, help your idiot brother make a salt circle around the entire cave."

"The entire cave?" asks Gish, "You cannot be serious."

"Ya heard me!" says Ling, inducing a relative increase in speed to the group, "We need to sanctify this entire place."

As a big fan of Bushido Blade (1 and 2), how is it that I only found out about the secret Versus mode inside of the Story mode today?

WLC 6.F: One Last Shot

The lycan, Ioana, stands in her nightgown wearing a simple jacket, Ling's wig in hand. "What is going on down here?"

"Oi, my hair." Ling holds up her hands in front of her, inviting Ioana to throw it her way. "Thanks for that."

"Deputy, where are the others?" asks the sheriff, "Also, my knife?"

"I'm the only one, sir," says Tanglepork, saluting, "And it's in the pond, sir."

"Then why didn't you grab it?"

"The fair lady will only give it to its owner: you."

"A man's got to do everything around here."

"Shove it, mate," says Ling, adjusting her wig, "First is the witches. We con-"

"Oh, new guests!" shouts Zingiber, twitching with excitement, Gudrun right behind her.

"Which one do ya want, Doctor?" asks Gudrun, "Ya've earned it."

"The bl'ell are ya spouting now?" yells Ling.

"Wait, who's what?" sputters Tanglepork.

"Deputy, get the men," says Honeycrisp, his nostrils flaring, "I'll handle this brainjacking b***h."

"Ya took control of him?" asks Gudrun.

"Are you throwing us under the cart?" asks Zingiber.

"Officer," whispers Ioana to Tanglepork without looking away from the witches, "I think we need to get out of here."

"What are ya trying to pull, Gudrun?" Ling adjusts her cloak.

"Porky." "Deputy." "Officer." "Gnome." "Little thing." The voices blended together, contradictory commands overlapping pulling the gnome's attention apart in a dizzying cacophony.

BANG

"Oh," says Ioana, stumbling forward, "Why?"

Tanglepork's gunhand trembles as she stares into the hole in the back of Ioana's head. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

"Yes," growls Ioana, turning to face her attacker, her face contorting savagely, "I do."

"Why did you do that, idiot?" barks Honeycrisp, "You really trying to kill an eldritch witch with a gun?"

"Bl'ell, everyone wait," says Ling, "I talked to your boss, witches. The kids are alive; we can work this out."

All attention turns to the doctor.

"Why would you trust it?" asks Honeycrisp, "The thing's helping these-"

"It said... something that meant it was talking to the kids," says Ling, nervously, "Or, at least, knew them."

"Is this about the brat you're selling drugs to?"

"I'm not selling drugs."

"Right," says Honeycrisp, "Giving drugs to."

"Not the time, Sheriff."

J: Why didn't you ever just use that surgery spell you crafted on her? L: Because she didn't want it? J: ...Valid.

Zingiber interrupts. "Oh, if they're still alive, we can kill them ourselves!"

"The screaming was nice," says Gudrun, fondly, "We can make a whole choir this time."

"Hate to waste that meat," mutters Ioana.

"What is wrong with ya?" yells Ling, "I'm trying to get ya c**ts out of this!"

"If you think I'm letting these c**ts go," yells Honeycrisp, "You'd best be ready to share a grave with 'em!"

"Ugh, so glad my son doesn't talk like this," mutters Gudrun as the doctor and the sheriff resume cussing each other out. She turns to her elven cohort. "Ioana's got the gnome, I'll take Captain Bulls***e, and-"

"Dr. Ling will feed me my own a**e," says Zingiber with a chipper enthusiasm more appropriate for boarding a carnival ride.

"Or ya could try winning," says Gudrun, exasperated.

"Love the confidence, and I will try," says Zingiber, "But she's going to destroy me, just like she did earlier."

The deputy is unfortunately not forgotten in this mess. The lycan looms over her. What they have to say transcends language, visible by a glance: Ioana expresses an intent to eat and Tanglepork expresses a need to change her pants.

And thus, the fight begins.

WLC 1.5: A House Divided

"You think I'll let you keep her in this hovel?" asks Jevoi, her eyes scanning the broken shelves and piles of refuse in the corners.

"As much as ya'd think I'd let ya take her to your fortress," says Ling.

"I'm willing to let YOU in," Jevoi's voice rises as small flames sparkle around her briefly, "I have a lab and a library."

"And I do not care."

Jevoi pauses. Her face slipping back into a smug malevolence. "There's also a pair of half-orc-"

"No."

"-Vrow twin-"

"NO."

"-Princess assassins-"

"n-n-no."

"-and their girlfriends are just dying to meet you."

The old lizard hissed and rasped. "Ya- ya- ya can't get me that easy." Ling pulls her hat down over her face.

"What else do you want?" Jevoi swings her arm into air. "Why would you rather live in trash?"

"This trash," seethes Ling, removing her hat, "Was your home. I spent half my life in this house and ya spent most of yours." She hops to her feet. "I built it. My life's work was done here." The room itself begins to shake. "Work ya destroyed."

Jevoi's eyes track Dalini, scurrying toward the back door. "Let's stay calm, Mum," she says, "We can still fix this. It's not too late. You don't know how many of your old friends are working for me now."

"Like who?" Ling scoffs, "Melandria? You think she's good for a brain?"

"She kept your old notes," says Jevoi, gesturing over to the glowing pod, "But there's so many others."

"Fine," says Ling, sitting down as the room stops shaking, "But first I need to tell ya 'bout how I met her."

"Why?" asks Jevoi.

"Story time!" shouts Dalini, racing back toward the fire.

"She's the first one to fund this," says Ling, "And we promised Dalini a yarn. So, sit down."

Jevoi summons an elaborate cushioned black throne to sit on; Dalini lies on the floor. "Oh, no," says the Empress, "Don't sit on the floor." She summons a matching stool which her daughter throws herself onto.

"Righto," says Ling, puffing up the fire, "Here's how I met the Shadow Queen."