donutgogentle

Latest Posts by donutgogentle

Every. Single. Time. Nick. And. Jess. Kissed. On. New. Girl. ❤️❤️ (if you plan on reposting please credit dis shit took a lifetime)

THE BEAR 1.08 — Braciole

Thirty seconds can be very long sometimes. Long enough to work a miracle or a revolution.

― The Blue Castle by L. M. Montgomery

you really just have to say 'it is what it is' and move on. like. completely move on. focus on what's important but also just have a nice life. play with your pet, go outside with someone somewhere, see a movie in theaters or borrow/buy a book, sit in the sunlight, get a plant, get a recipe, wear a fragrance, dance, talk to ppl, do pilates/sports/walking/swimming/biking, go somewhere new, start a casual or compelling project, compliment a stranger genuinely, call someone, drive for a while. remember that you're here. you're important because you're alive and that's enough

upstream, mary oliver; gravity and grace, simone weil; journal of a solitude, may sarton

self destruction really is such a fascinating human response to various factors both external and internal. what if sisyphus could leave at any time but kept rolling the boulder up the hill just to watch it roll back down anyway. what if he kept pushing it even as the rock cut into his palms and his legs began to ache with the desire to rest for even a moment and his body became a canvas of bruises and cuts that never have time to heal. what if he did it because it's the only thing he knows how to do. the only thing that gives him a sense of certainty and control in a world that takes both and offers neither.

ANNE WITH AN E (2017 - 2019) | s02 ep01 'YOUTH IS THE SEASON OF HOPE'

Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.

But her family. Holy shit.

First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever

Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.

And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves three more, and two of those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper

And while one of the two is young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.

And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK

And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”

So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE

And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for

And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker

And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”

And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”

And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah

Yeah, I think I kinda get it

"came back wrong" what about Came Back Afraid. You used to be brave. Too brave maybe, defying the odds at every turn, a fighter, cocky, playing with fire, first to throw yourself at the enemy. Until one day it all caught up to you. You came back, somehow, but now you know all too intimately how it feels to lose, to die, to be destroyed. Now you flinch and freeze and cower at the slightest provocation. Who even are you now if you can't be brave? The grave may have let you go, but the mortal fear still grips you tighter than ever.

This might be of interest to (1) other person on tumblr but when googling around medical school practices of the 1880s (for like, Gilberty reasons), I found this time-table from UPenn and boyyy does it look exhausting. Lectures lasting Monday through Saturday, beginning at 8 and a half (lol) a.m. to sometimes 10 p.m. The weekly schedule generally consisted of 15 - 20 hours in lectures, 4 hours in clinics, and 19 hours in laboratories or practicums. Classes included things like diseases of children, autopsies, medical chemistry, morbid anatomy, gynecology, + more, and a huge focus on bandaging.

Comparison of the curriculum for Penn's Medical Class of 1889 to that of students before the Civil War shows that by the 1880s students not only studied on a different campus, they also stayed in medical school an extra fourth year to accommodate the addition of new fields of study and of hands-on experience into the curriculum. Surgery and hygiene, as well as specialized areas of medicine, were now seen as necessary parts of medical education. And before being granted a medical degree, students were now expected to dissect actual human bodies, to have practice in everything from bandaging to surgery in laboratories, practicums and even supervised experience in operating rooms and on the floor.

In the second year of study, both courses and clinics became more specific and also more time-consuming. For students this year was most memorable for the ten evening hours spent in the dissecting room each week.

Often, men will say something like : "Who built this world? Men! Who created everything, all the technology, the great art, the culture, our societies? Who built the roads you drive on? Men!" and feminists will respond "That's because you didn't let us work or make art!" and... that's just wrong? Why are you validating the idea that women didn't contribute anything to the world? That we didn't work? That we didn't innovate? And why are you approving the nonsense that says being a mother is not work?

Don't let men rewrite history.

Women have always worked the double shift; outside of home and inside of home.

Why "Precolonial" Indigenous North American History Matters: A Mini Syllabus

Okay I had this half-finished lying around so I prettied it up into something vaguely usable and added links wherever possible (most of them being totally legal...)

This is not a full treatment of Indigenous history before European contact. It was originally created to be a 15 week class, so it was not intended to cover everything but to give a taste of various regions and histories. Unfortunately, certain essays I would highly recommend are in the Oxford handbooks I listed at the end, and I have been unable to locate free-to-access versions.

Each section includes a question to consider that is intended to suggest ways that these precolonial histories have reverberations into the present. In a course I'd be able to draw them out more clearly, but keep them in mind as you read, if you like. Finally, please keep in mind that few of these sources will read like a "straightforward history" of "precolonial [xyz region/tribe/nation]." Be open-minded and critical-thinking!

Part 1: Foundations

Questions to consider:

Why didn't we learn this stuff?

Why should we learn this stuff?

Why do so many Indigenous people distrust historians / anthropologists / archaeologists?

Readings:

Michael Witgen (Red Cliff Ojibwe), "American Indians in World History" in The Oxford Handbook of American Indian History

Vine Deloria, Jr. (Standing Rock Sioux), Custer Died For Your Sins, chapter 4: "Anthropologists and Other Friends"

Floyd Westerman (Sisseton Dakota), "Here Come the Anthros" (music video!!)

Juliana Barr, "There's no such thing as prehistory"

Peregrine and Lekson, "The North American Oikumene"

(Parts 2-6 under the cut)

Part 2: Mesoamerica

Question to consider: How could so few Spaniards conquer the vast population of Tenochtitlan and other Aztec cities?

Readings:

Camilla Townsend, Fifth Sun: A New History of the Aztecs

Popol Vuh (translated by Allen J. Christenson)

Part 3: Aridoamerica/Oasisamerica

Question to consider: How did the Southwest region of the United States become so associated with the touristy image of the "peaceful Pueblo Indian"?

Readings:

Joe Sando (Jemez Pueblo), Pueblo Nations: Eight Centuries of Pueblo Indian History

Kelley and Francis (Navajo), A Diné History of Navajoland, introduction

Severin Fowles, "The Pueblo Village in an Age of Reformation"

Part 4: The Midcontinent

Question to consider: How did the Five "Civilized" Tribes become so powerful, both historically and today?

Readings:

Alt and Pauketat, "Medieval Life in America's Heartland"

Christopher B. Teuton (Cherokee Nation), Cherokee Stories of the Turtle Island Liar's Club

Part 5: The Great Lakes

Question to consider: What role did Indigenous peoples play in the French ultimately losing their North American colonies? (Why am I writing this in English and not French?)

Readings:

Georges Sioui (Wendat), Huron-Wendat: Heritage of the Circle (I can't find an online copy but it's extremely worth buying)

Kayanerehkowa: The Great Law of Peace (Kahnawake Mohawk)

Part 6: General Resources

I would also recommend these two handbooks, if you can get a hold of them for a non-outrageous price:

The Oxford Handbook of American Indian History (2016)

The Oxford Handbook of North American Archaeology (2011)

How to Consume The Apothecary Diaries

TLDR

Web Novel: A Pharmacist's Monologue, 387 chapters. Free in Japanese; English Translate MTL is very easy on-site. HERE.

Light Novel: The Apothecary Diaries. Partially free with an account HERE. Also Google exists. Purchaseable in Kindle/Print. 15 Japanese volumes (approx. 363 WN chapters) and 13/14 English volumes on Kindle (approx. 323/347 WN chapters) or 4/5 English volumes in print (approx. 101/128 WN chapters). Available on Amazon, Ebay, Abebooks, Facebook Marketplace. Use Bookfinder to compare prices.

Manga: x The Apothecary Diaries, ill. by Nekokurage. This illustration style is very similar to the anime. 80 manga chapters have been released. 14 Japanese volumes (74 M1 chapters, approx. 89 WN chapters, approx. 3.75 LN volumes) and 13 English volumes (68 M1 chapters, approx. 83 WN chapters, approx. 3.5 LN volumes). Available on Amazon, Ebay, Abebooks, Facebook Marketplace. Use Bookfinder to compare prices. x Maomao's Notes from the Inner Palace, ill. by Minoji Kurata. This illustration style is similar to the light novel. 84 manga chapters have been released. 19 Japanese volumes (82 M2 chapters, approx. 101 WN chapters, 4 LN volumes). There is no official English release.

Anime: The Apothecary Diaries, 29 episodes and currently airing weekly. 1 full season (42 M1 chapters or 8 volumes, approx. 31 M2 chapters or 7 volumes, approx. 56 WN chapters, 2 LN volumes). Season has 5 aired episodes as of last week (43-49 M1 chapters or volume 9, approx. 32-39 M2 chapters or half volume 8 with full volume 9, approx. 57-68 WN chapters, half LN volume 3). Season 2 will have 24 total episodes totalling to 48 episodes (possibly passing the manga release of 80 M1 chapters or 14 volumes, approx. 82 M2 chapters or 19 volumes, approx. 101 WN chapters, approx. 4 LN volumes). Free with ads on Crunchyroll. Conditionally free without ads with a Crunchyroll subscription or free trial. HERE.

Here's a spreadsheet:

Link

The Specifics

The Web Novel The Apothecary Diaries (or, A Pharmacist's Monologue) is published in Japanese for free as a web novel by Natsuo Hyuuga in 2011 on Shōsetsuka ni Narō [Let's Become a Novelist]. It is still ongoing, and the 387th chapter was published as recently as 5th February 2025. You can access it for free here. The webpages are easy to Google Translate, so if you don't mind MTL, the English translation also is free and easily accessible. To do this, right click anywhere on the webpage and select 'Translate to English'. Additionally, the website has an option to download a PDF of the entire novel. However, this is only in Japanese vertical script, and it is less easy to Google Translate.

The Novel There was a print novel of The Apothecary Diaries illustrated by Megumi Matsuda published in Japanese in 2012. It comprises a single volume, which covers 66 chapters of the web novel (the only chapters that had been released at the time). I am not aware of the availability of any English translation of this novel.

The Light Novel The Apothecary Diaries is being adapted into a light novel written by the same Natsuo Hyuuga and illustrated by Touka Shino. Some chapters are available for free on J-Novel here, but the rest require purchase. There is no legal way to access the full light novel for free. However, I have heard that Googling is easy and very profitable. The Japanese volumes began releasing in 2014. As of February 2025, there are 15 volumes in print, covering approximately 363 chapters of the web novel. The official English language release began in 2024. The English print release is around 3 years behind the Kindle release. As of February 2025, 13 volumes are available on Kindle, covering approximately 323 chapters of the web novel. The 14th volume will be released in May, covering approximately 347 chapters of the web novel. You can find these on Amazon for £6.39 each. As of February 2025, 4 volumes are available in print, covering approximately 101 chapters of the web novel. The 5th volume will be released in May, covering approximately 128 chapters of the web novel. You can find these new on Amazon or Ebay for around £13-17. You can find them secondhand for as low as £9 on Amazon or Abebooks. You can use Bookfinder to compare the prices between book vendors. Additionally, Facebook Marketplace is an underused resource.

The Manga The Apothecary Diaries is being adapted as 2 separate manga series by Itsuki Nanao. I don't know why. There are differences between the adaptations, and there are differing opinions on which one is better; I won't get into that here. I will refer to them separately as The Apothecary Diaries and Maomao's Notes from the Inner Palace. x The Apothecary Diaries is the manga adaptation illustrated by Nekokurage that began releasing in Japanese in 2017. 80 manga chapters have been released as a monthly serial. The illustration style is extremely similar to the anime. There are currently 14 volumes in print in Japanese (up to manga chapter 74), covering approximately 89 chapters of the web novel or 3.75 volumes of the light novel. The official English language release began in 2020. There are currently 13 volumes in print in English (up to manga chapter 68), covering approximately 83 chapters of the web novel or 3.5 volumes of the light novel. The 14th volume will release in October. There are Kindle versions; you can find these on Amazon for £5.65 each. You can find print versions new on Amazon or Ebay for around £10-13. You can find them secondhand for a similar price on Amazon, Ebay, or Abebooks. You can use Bookfinder to compare the prices between book vendors. Additionally, Facebook Marketplace is an underused resource. x Maomao's Notes from the Inner Palace is the manga adaptation illustrated by Minoji Kurata that began releasing in Japanese in 2017. 84 manga chapters have been released as a monthly serial. The illustration style is more similar to the light novel than to the anime. There are currently 19 volumes in print in Japanese (up to manga chapter 82), covering approximately 101 chapters of the web novel or 4 volumes of the light novel. The 20th volume will release in September. There is no official English language release.

The Anime The Apothecary Diaries is being adapted as anime. It has one complete season of 24 episodes, and season 2 is currently airing weekly. Episode 5 was released last week. Season 1 covers approximately 56 chapters of the web novel or 2 volumes of the light novel or 8 volumes of The Apothecary Diaries manga or just over 7 volumes of Maomao's Notes from the Inner Palace. I expect season 2 wholly to cover approximately chapters 57-101 of the web novel or the 3rd and 4th volumes of the light novel, possibly exceeding the currently manga release with the 9th-14th volumes of The Apothecary Diaries manga or the latter half of the 8th volume through the 19th volumes of Maomao's Notes from the Inner Palace. You can access it in dub and sub on Crunchyroll here. It is free with ads. You can watch it without ads by subscribing to Crunchyroll for £4.99/mo. The first subscription on a Crunchyroll account includes a 7 day free trial. This requires you to enter your payment information before granting access. However, if you cancel the trial immediately after subscribing, you will retain access to the subscription services for the remainder of the trial period without worrying about the subscription charging your card at the end.

Edit 250215S: some corrections regarding the length of season 2 of the anime. Thanks to @blur0se for bringing that to my attention.

Writing Tips

Punctuating Dialogue

✧

➸ “This is a sentence.”

➸ “This is a sentence with a dialogue tag at the end,” she said.

➸ “This,” he said, “is a sentence split by a dialogue tag.”

➸ “This is a sentence,” she said. “This is a new sentence. New sentences are capitalized.”

➸ “This is a sentence followed by an action.” He stood. “They are separate sentences because he did not speak by standing.”

➸ She said, “Use a comma to introduce dialogue. The quote is capitalized when the dialogue tag is at the beginning.”

➸ “Use a comma when a dialogue tag follows a quote,” he said.

“Unless there is a question mark?” she asked.

“Or an exclamation point!” he answered. “The dialogue tag still remains uncapitalized because it’s not truly the end of the sentence.”

➸ “Periods and commas should be inside closing quotations.”

➸ “Hey!” she shouted, “Sometimes exclamation points are inside quotations.”

However, if it’s not dialogue exclamation points can also be “outside”!

➸ “Does this apply to question marks too?” he asked.

If it’s not dialogue, can question marks be “outside”? (Yes, they can.)

➸ “This applies to dashes too. Inside quotations dashes typically express—“

“Interruption” — but there are situations dashes may be outside.

➸ “You’ll notice that exclamation marks, question marks, and dashes do not have a comma after them. Ellipses don’t have a comma after them either…” she said.

➸ “My teacher said, ‘Use single quotation marks when quoting within dialogue.’”

➸ “Use paragraph breaks to indicate a new speaker,” he said.

“The readers will know it’s someone else speaking.”

➸ “If it’s the same speaker but different paragraph, keep the closing quotation off.

“This shows it’s the same character continuing to speak.”

mmm.

The Bear team using well known romantic imagery like this,

And this,

And acting like we're silly and delusional for shipping them is crazy work indeed.

A little late (at least in my timezone) but: Happy International Women's Day!

Let's celebrate it with my little edit of Valancy :') She should be at the club!

[all clips are from adaptation of Theatre of Television in Poland from 1996]

I'm just going to home to Ottawa, right? Ottawa just where you live. This is your home.

North of North, Season 1 Episode 8 "Bad Influences" created by Stacey Aglok MacDonald & Alethea Arnaquq-Baril

CNN

James Harrison, blood donor whose rare plasma saved millions of babies, dead at 88 | CNN

James Harrison, a prolific Australian blood donor famed for having saved the lives of more than two million babies, has died at age 88.

It's worth noting that there are some extraordinary people in the world who have been quietly doing the work for decades, and they should be celebrated with all the fervor that we denounce the villains. I first read about Harrison twenty-odd years ago, when he'd already been doing this for about fifty years, and this is one of those guys whose life can, indeed, be summed up by his headline.

James Harrison saved millions of lives. Millions. Not with anything flashy or dramatic, not with profound speeches or brilliant strategy or any of the things we insist are the ways to impact the world. He simply kept himself as healthy as possible so that every few weeks he could go and sit quietly in a room and give away a fundamental part of himself — quite literally his lifeblood — to people he'd never meet, for no pay and no expectation of acknowledgement. (He was, it should be said, acknowledged quite a lot per this article, but that's beside the point.)

When we talk about the kind of people we want to elevate and celebrate in our societies, I often think of people like James Harrison. I hope we get more of him; not just for his blood, but for his heart.

owls + apples 🍎

kind of weird how parts of your soul are left in various locations without any warning… like yes i’m always at the top of that hill, sitting at the bus stop, in the cool light of the Japanese restaurant, standing at the pier etc etc

girl shocked to discover that inaction can have consequences too