POV: Mister Devon Price, PhD, Telling Me That I Am Right About Everything

florist!simon and tattoo artist!johnny part 2

johnny’s so worked up when he pushes through the door of simon’s shop, he’s exclaiming some shit in scottish and holding up the rose simon left him in the air like it’s some sort of evidence.

simon’s in the middle of making a flower arrangement and simply blinks at the gibberish directed his way, but hides a sly smirk under his surgical mask.

johnny saunters towards the counter, puts on his best smile, and simon swears the flowers around him start swooning and singing and becoming more aromatic the second he opens his mouth and spews some charming words at him.

he crosses his arms, tilts his head as he stares down at johnny but the bastard doesn’t falter, just keeps talking and flirting and fuck his eyes are so blue and he can see the outline of his biceps through the material of his shirt and he can smell his fucking cologne and did simon hear him correctly?

a date? friday, 6pm? johnny will pick him up? with his bike? oh god. simon hasn’t been on a date in years months, let alone have someone plan it instead of him. he’s practically pulling on a veil and a massive white wedding bouquet from behind his back for this stranger he left a rose for as a little gift.

he behaves like a bastard though, tells johnny to buy something from him and maaaaybe he’ll consider the date.

johnny immediately pays 100 pounds for the biggest fucking bouquet simon can make, tells him to pick only the freshest and simon’s favorite flowers, makes simon explain the meaning of every flower and its color, and when simon ties the prettiest bow around the fat stems, johnny tells him it’s beautiful. now take it home and put it in a nice vase in your living room and wait until i get you another one on friday.

simon’s raising his eyebrows but is kicking his fucking feet like a teenage girl inwardly.

johnny leaves with simon’s number scribbled on a piece of paper, twirling the red rose between his fingers. simon watches him go, then looks back at the bouquet—massive, extravagant, borderline ridiculous, just like johnny requested. and in the middle of it, nestled among the other flowers, is another red rose.

‘so ye don’t forget about me,’ johnny had said, grinning as simon tucked it into place in the middle of the arrangement.

as if simon fucking could.

yes my favorite type of fanfiction consists of characters getting tenderly cared for and comforted after a lifetime of being forced to suffer alone in silence, no this doesn't say anything about me

I’m debating just posting random flower husband One shots I come up with here, but I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am not a writer so I’m not sure. :/

The Fair Folk: “I can’t believe this. Twenty years I’ve cleaned your house and you DARE to try to REPAY me with GIFTS. This is such an insult. Fuck you, you insolent humans. I’m leaving here and never returning because you have insulted me so deeply.”

Also the Fair Folk: “Remember that one time you pulled a thorn out of a cat’s foot? That was me. To show my gratitude, here is a house made of solid gold, a life-debt, my daughter’s hand in marriage, and a promise that all your children will be gorgeous and successful at all that they do. I can also throw in a blow job if you want. I hope this is enough. I don’t want to seem ungrateful.”

it’s been said before and it will be said again but i’m begging you all nicely to restrain yourselves from being so casually aggressive and rude and obnoxious in the tags & reblogs of a complete stranger’s posts. no one wants to know that you hate [tv show that op giffed]. no one wants to know that you hate [character that op drew]. no one wants to hear you being ugly and negative for no reason. say what you want to say in your own post. don’t hit the reblog button. blacklist relevant tags. unfollow or block relevant accounts. log out. shut down. get help.

here's a quick tip for life: if you hate someone and you have a choice in the matter, keep their name out of your mouth and the reasons you hate them out of your head. keep your head on a swivel around people who habitually break this guideline because they're just as capable of obsessive negativity about you

Imagine Norman attacking Jimmy because he smells like a fish. I also headcannon Jimmy with a fish tail, so like imagine Jimmy is just standing there talking to someone and all of a sudden he jumps back and looks down to see Norman had randomly attacked his tail and is now looking up at him like a angel. Ahem here is it in fanfic form.

“-so yeah that’s why I really need this slime.” Pix says, holding a barrel of slime. “Can’t wait to see how it turns out.” He replies as they walk to the dock, not noticing the little shadow stalking them.

“Alright well it’s a bit of a trek back to Pixandria so I best be going.” Pix states equipping his elytra. “Yeah safe trav- ouch!” Jimmy’s yelps, feeling a stinging pain on his tail. He whirls around to see what had cause it, only to see Norman sitting there looking up at him with a face of innocence. “Did-did you just attack me?!” He says to Norman, flabbergasted. Norman doesn’t reply and just runs off to who knows where. Jimmy stands shocked for a minute while Pix is dying of laughter. “Better watch out Jimmy, Norman is apparently looking to take a bite out of you.” Pix says through his chuckles. “Your sleeping outside tonight!” Jimmy yells at Norman who’s off in the distance, knowing fully well he won’t follow through with the threat.

Sorry If that’s kinda a abrupt ending but I couldn’t find a way to end it. I am not a writer and it shows😓

One thing I’ve learned about writing is ”give everything a face”. It’s no good to write passively that the nobility fled the city or that the toxic marshes were poisoning the animals beyond any ability to function. Make a protagonist see how a desperate woman in torn silks climbs onto a carriage and speeds off, or a two-headed deer wanders right into the camp and into the fire. Don’t just have an ambiguous flock of all-controlling oligarchy, name one or two representatives of it, and illustrate just how vile and greedy they are as people.

it’s bad to have characters who serve no purpose in the story, but giving something a face is a perfectly valid purpose.

If it makes you feel better I’m 5’2 and all my IRL friends are above 5’4. I understand your pain.

🌻

I am always the shortest of my IRL friends, there's never a chance for me to be second shortest, just straight up: all the way SHORT. AND I'm 5'4!