“do We Think Maybe A Vegetable Would Cause Less Despair” Still Living In My Head Rent Free

omg why did they make me unlovable out of all the people i could've been why did i have to be unlovable

they hate me for my slutty waist and my ability to see the good in everything

*keeps my cards close to my chest but they're all facing the wrong way so everyone can see them anyway*

Sharon Olds, from "Little Things"; Strike Sparks: Selected Poems, 1980-2002

">_< but im scared of change!" <- girl who wishes everything was different

oh, i am finally old enough to know why my parents took so long to grab their coats. why they would ask us to get ready to go only to sit down for another round of coffee. what would i tell myself, at 10 years old? it’s okay. sit down with them too. take in the extra hour with your friend and her family. when you get home, write down every moment in your diary. one day you will be older and you will be waving goodbye to your best friend, and you will turn the key to start your beat up little car engine, and you will look back over your shoulder. her hair will be blowing in the wind and she will be beautiful and you will be, for a moment, struck by all of it. what you will feel is so wide and nameless that it will engulf you. and you will think of being 14 and kicking her under the table in math every time you wanted to whisper something behind the teacher’s back. you will think about how long the days felt, and how you could hold her hand whenever you wished, but you didn’t. and you will think about all of the people you could have lingered with. and you will wish, more than you have ever felt a wish, that the universe just gave you that - more time to linger. more time to say - i love you. i know i need to leave, but i don’t want to leave you. and when i go, i am leaving a piece of my heart that lingers too. 

one more round of coffee. the days are so short, and you are so lovely.

cool self isolation bro now what if the people you’re hiding from truly love you and want to care for you