I Know When I'm Stinky

You've always played easy

And I've always been stuck on hard mode

I praised you so you would play with me

But you never wanted to #literally

Figuratively

Too literally

Filled my pockets and wallet

Drain my laughs and made me think who you really are

Was my savioir

More like sanguine

I'm drained babe. Wish you well. Sorry you forgot this fun fact about me.

I may not be a doctor or have as many letters as my doctor or YOU

But men oh men

You both done diddly squat in it now on your own volition

Teabagging your own shit pretending like you shot me

I was always a better sniper/mage-type

You always chose different types

I played to my strength

"You're not supposed to play as yourself in games, you're supposed to play as who you wanna be cos it's your wonderland."

Guess what motherfucker,

I guess I want to be myself because I'm on my own fucking hero, the fantasy wasn't the person, the fantasy was all the stuff I could make and do in the game because I always knew the fastest and best and quickest way to get to the top, kill the bosses in a few hits and then start playing all over again and hard mode immediately.

That's me.

Right now I've seen the true you, and I wish it wasn't so. But I had to give up eggs for a reason, and Thank God I finally thought I could do it and follow through. And took accountability. Without trying to be too obnoxious of a vegan because I wasn't perfect but trying to be perfect because my vegan friend meant so much to me.

Nothing meant anything to you, Burr.

Your only consistent principle (The thing that you kept getting between us, I'm not going to say letting because if I didn't want it there it would not be there, I didn't because I cared about you and you couldn't communicate like me. But I still wanted to try talking language even though you were drifting apart for so long bracket). Thing was this whole time. I thought you were the one holding me up .

Just like I looked at the abyss wrong - upside down - and darker than I remember because I've been there so many times before.

(maybe because of you?)

I don't want to believe it.

Because you're a good man

You just continued this long enough to see yourself become my villain.

I told you the ball is in your court

You were standing up for yourself to the side facing away and hoping that people would sorted out themselves because you didn't want to deal with it. Because you didn't want to cuz you were too busy and important trying to run the world, but because

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https://www.convertbinary.com

I know I leave myself breadcrumbs so I can find myself when we're lost in the woods because you never ask for directions to the Owl House

How people always said how it felt like dealing with someone as manic or exhausting as me. I see you JP. And now I'm going to start calling out as well. If I start getting annoyed. Stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours and respect you and not talk shit because that's what I do. I'm not like either of you and I never will be.

Acceptance out of thinking you're exhausting because you're manic, I think you're exhausting to deal with because it's like talking to a wall because you have the depth of a millimeter and that's being kind. #quarks #gluons

I thought I was uncomfortable because I never felt cool enough around all of you. And now I realize I was uncomfortable because none of you felt like home. And now that I my own home. I might own snail. And as long as something cat is cosmic like your foot doesn't come down on me when I'm not expecting it, I've already been planning at my route because I saw you coming from a mile away.

You think you're slick, but there's no in hell you are slicker than a snail.

You think you're going to slither in?

Not into my life, not if I don't want you to.

And I'm writing fire because I feel fired

And because I know I'm writing this in the moment because that's all I need

Because normally I would be reading and re looking at my post over and over again to make sure I didn't sound like an idiot

But I forgot what I knew at 6:00. I'm not an idiot because I know exactly what I want

It's the adults that are fucking delusional

I was woke and Gen z before it even existed. Because the '90s were the best time in everyone was any generation they wanted to be without wanting to be any of them

Because the '90s knew they were the best because you could never beat them

And that's because you could never understand them like I could.

You made me, called me pretty, and then planted me six feet under.

I'm finally ready to explode.

# Yes, I Muslim # but this is not a bomb joke

# It's just about revolution

# no I swear that's not bad either

# because it actually doesn't concern you for once!

# we're just doing it for ourselves

I always thought I wanted to be the energizer bunny

Because I forgot I could always bigly outdick energy all over my "haterz" lol.

Just didn't think I'd have to use that horrible joke on you. But I guess you inspired it. So jokes on me. Just like you are. But I'm washing you off silently in my own stream away from this horrible city that you love more than me.

And now I won't feel crazy telling that to people because they'll just keep her reminding me of all the things you've bought me and all the things you've helped me do, because that's true. But it's also true that I was not for the last 5 years even though I thought I was the happiest and I was in a way because I was closest to my happiness than I'd been in a long time.

Just like you were to this but I never let you push my button

Because even though I hated the world, there were too many people and things in it even though I hate people and prefer animals. As we all know, I just have to make sure everyone knows again because that has never changed and never will sorry because people suck please read previous posts for contacts because I'm done giving it without people asking. Because they're going to think what they think. Anyways, and I'll never be able to cover every atom of my thought. Because every time I try people call me manic which is so funny to me because it makes them feel so small to me. I love it.

In the best part is I can't even help myself

But you push the button first. You've been created it. I just didn't see what you were doing behind my back. Because I trusted you so much, I gave you my fleshiest bits. Like cats. That's why they're the best. Because you can actually trust them. Because you can't trust them. And we both know that. At least now you do too.

Fate memes well

Or at least she tries

#someland #somedon't #i will still think I'm hilarious #tomyaudienceof1🥹

#population: ME ☣️☢️⚠️

#iseeyou #andfeelscene #warninglabelswerepeeling

#rubbedthembackon4u

#urwelcome

#generouskweeng

David's T-Shirt and pin ❤ (t-shirt buy here :))

On learning to love and name my disabilities

And using my once-thought-of flaws (over-thinking/over-spending/over-doing/over-compensating/over-everything-etc.) Just because I have severe depression/anxiety/waiting on a possible diagnosis of bipolar disorder/am possibly experiencing a hypomanic episode/new diagnoses, who dis?

Doesn't mean I'm incapable/sometimes capable of dealing with them on my own. I never thought I could, so I rarely tried. at least with maximum effort from my magnificent brain and body.

I never hated myself but the doubt was always so severe and present in every part of my life, it became a friend that would also make self-deprecating jokes with/at/to me... So I learned to be as comfortably numb as possible.

But it wasn't enough. I was planning on applying to M.A.I.D. when it opened up it's criterion for possible mental health disorders, instead of just terminal/agonizing ones.

I know this hypomania (no matter how scary/uncomfortable it is making some) is exactly what I need right now and I will fucking fight for it.