My Bestfriend Isn’t Allowed To Stop Being My Bestfriend, The Bitch Knows Too Much

sooo basically my stationery-loving nerd ass has a tendency to over-buy when ordering, and so i have a few bits and bobs that I don’t really use??? I’ve been hoping to do a giveaway of some sort for a really long time, so i’m hoping to use this as a tester and maybe do another bigger one if it goes well !!

items in the giveaway:

cloud-shaped correction tape

two sets of page markers (blue + grey/beige)

three black-ink cactus pens

two marble-pattern washi tapes (one white, one black)

a set of small plant-patterned envelopes

although I initially ordered them for myself, I’ll just clarify that all items are unused and are in the condition that they were when I first received them.

how to enter:

reblog this post (likes won’t be included)

be following me (x)

thats ………………. literally it 

if you enter, please make sure that you’re either over 18 years old or have parents’ permission to give me your address (so that I can post it to you)

if all goes well and 10+ people enter, I’ll be ending the giveaway on tuesday 1st may 2018 and posting it asap once a winner is chosen w a random generator. the giveaway is open worldwide, but if you live outside of the UK, just be aware that I’m not sure how long shipping will take!

thank you !!!!

i literally dont talk to anyone unless they talk to me first

works for me 

every harry potter post on here thats not a super tenuous and ill-advised political metaphor is some exhausting 3-part affair where the first part is the op being like “can you summon a patronus specifically to suck your dick lol” and then some rando comes along and adds onto it like “no this is a very beautiful idea. imagine students in dumbledores army learning to summon customized fleshlight patronuses… imagine summoning a human shaped patronus you could date….. what if hogwarts professors knew fun pop culture references and said them to each other” and then the third part is someone posting an 80k word essay-fanfiction about their heroic slytherin OC being the first wizard ever to pioneer the Dickius Suckicus enchantment and starting the first sex positive wizard kink shoppe that ends up defeating voldemort or whatever the fuck

petition for stars in the day time please???

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

Hilarious book dedications. 

Hello friends this took me like a month to make please be gentle

Daily reminder: If they wanna talk to you, they will. If they wanna be with you, they will. If they wanna make things work, they will. Don’t let things be one sided. It’s not healthy, and it’s not fair to you.

I just want to thank books for being a part of my life