That Shy Inexplicable Hesitation Before Leaving Kudos On A Scandalous Work Bc Now The Author Will Know

Since when had his name become a soft prayer on Draco’s lips?

After a long time stalling, I’ve finally read Dwelling. Also because of this immaculate work of @sits-bound, and @tackytigerfic’s caution encouragement. I may have survived, but not without a crater in my chest made by thousands of shards. Here’s my sloppy attempt to patch that up.

PS. Dear @pl0tty and my irl friends, you’re the OG. Thank you for your insights. ♥︎

Speaking Up

After months of consideration, I’ve decided to speak up about a deeply distressing experience I had in the Drarry community. 

A little over half a year ago, I was abruptly banned from a community of Drarry writers after a vague statement accusing a member of harassment. I was never told specifically what I was accused of; nobody ever spoke to me or provided any explanation for their actions. When I tried to reach out, I was blocked. 

In a slow trickle of information provided by other people over the following weeks and months, I learned that I’d been blamed for anonymous hate comments left on a fellow writer’s AO3, based on “credible evidence”, which wasn’t shared. 

I want to be very clear: 

I did not leave these hate comments, nor would I ever leave hate comments to anyone. The person who received these comments, as well as everyone supporting their accusations, were people whose work I enjoyed privately and publicly. 

I have no idea what “evidence” anyone could have come up with to support the claim that I left those anonymous comments. Other than knowing that I'm innocent, I've also learned that you cannot determine the identity of a guest commenter on AO3. 

There’s something uniquely jarring and isolating about being falsely accused of having done something bad, without being told what it is and without being given the chance to defend myself, as well as this accusation coming from people I considered friends, in a community that prides itself on being kind and mature. 

Being branded a harasser by people I trusted has had a devastating effect on my experience in fandom, my fandom relationships, and on my mental health. It has made navigating fandom spaces challenging, and had a noticeable impact even on my real, everyday life. I’m still dealing with the fallout of what happened, half a year later. 

For months, I’ve been thinking about how to address this matter. Ultimately, I’ve decided against a more detailed recount of what happened and how it continues to affect me, as I don’t want to invite any further negativity, towards me or the people who targeted me. 

Instead, I want to be clear about who I am and how I engage with the Drarry community. I care deeply about my stories, as well as other creators and the fandom spaces we share. I’ve always strived to uplift others and to be a kind, authentic, and fun participant. As a passionate reader, I will continue doing what I enjoy: reading stories and being vocal in my support of the creators of this fandom. 

Creating and being an active part of the fandom space always went hand in hand for me, and this has been difficult for the majority of this year. As of now, I’m not sure I’ll keep writing in this community, but I’ll take every day as it comes. In the end, I'm a writer with all my heart, and if I end up wanting to stick around, I'll be happy for it. 

In speaking up about this now, I’m giving myself permission to move on. It has seemed imperative to me to understand not only the What of the situation but also the Why. However, in the end, none of my guesses hold much weight. I’ve not been able to find a sensible link between myself and the person I was made out to be. I’ve exhausted myself and my options, and am finally giving myself permission to stop trying to understand the motivations of those who accused me, and instead focus on the positive aspects of being part of this community. 

Finally, I want to say that I strongly believe in open communication. I wasn’t given the chance to respond to the accusations when it mattered the most. Still, I am, and always have been, genuinely happy to talk. To anyone who’s reading this and would like to chat, whether you know about this situation or not: My DMs are open. 

I'm so very grateful to the people who've listened to me, created new safe spaces for and with me, and cared while I did my best to navigate this situation. I'm grateful, too, to those friends who cracked jokes about this mess long before I was ready to. Thank you for being the brightest part of my fandom experience. Your friendship, as well as the incredible stories I’ve gotten to read in this fandom, will stay with me, and continue to shine brighter than anyone could diminish. 

Thought I’d post this Harry separately. No. You cannot tell how fond I am of isn’t a kingdom Harry by @garagepaperback.

Glue your eyes on the screen (like me) when you check out my (precious!) fairy-dusted ficbind collab with the multi-talented and amazing @phoenixortheflame here.

wanted to paint this neater but resorted to feels™️ and hopefully i did a nice job putting all the energy of this lobster slander scene + what @mintawasalreadytaken described as #Harry sturdier than an oak tree you can’t stop fantasizing about calling Daddy (ngl i saw the tag/s i clicked with lightning speed)

Those who have seen them mentioned the same thing about the unidentified man: He has striking, platinum blonde hair.

After a long time stalling, I’ve finally read Dwelling. Also because of this immaculate work of @sits-bound, and @tackytigerfic’s caution encouragement. I may have survived, but not without a crater in my chest made by thousands of shards. Here’s my sloppy attempt to patch that up.

PS. Dear @pl0tty and my irl friends, you’re the OG. Thank you for your insights. ♥︎

My favorite thing about fanfic authors is they can identify any gap in a canon timeline where characters are offscreen and exploit the ever living fuck out of it

They see a time skip of any length and go

one thing you won't know until you experience it for yourself when you create art out of love is how it feels when people receive it with love. when you post a doodle and someone keeps it as their lockscreen, or when you write a story and someone tells you they were thinking about it all day, or when you post a poem and someone shares it with a touching caption. doesn't matter if it was objectively good or not. matters that someone spent time with it, that someone really, really liked it, and you made it. this kind of interaction, i think, it can really sustain you for weeks. it can sustain you through a lot of terrible things. its confirmation that you exist, and that (however briefly) your existence was appreciated by someone else through your art.

Hi! 11 & 25 for the love your fandom ask if you’d like to!

P.S. I just want to say that The Full Monty was one of my very first drarry reads and it’s been living in my head rent-free ever since. Shortly after I’ve binged on your other works (The Dare, dirtynumbangelboy, The Miseducation of Draco Malfoy and A Perfectly Normal Reaction), all of which had made me feel a l o t of things but I don’t think i could ever be eloquent about it so thank you so much for these gobsmacking works!! ♥︎

Hello! Thank you for the very kind words about my fics!! I'm thrilled you enjoyed them and very grateful for your lovely praise! You've made my day <333

I answered 25 here.

11. if you're a writer or artist, what fic or piece of art are you proud of making?

What a fab question! It's so hard to choose, though, because I see something in each fic that I'm proud of. Could be the premise or a funny line or the mood of the piece. There's always something.

But as a story on the whole, I'm proudest of dirtynumbangelboy and 9 ½ Days. They're my longest fics and I'm pretty happy with how they turned out. I had a vivid image of certain scenes in both fics and I was really eager to write them down. Comments suggest they worked for the readers too. I also really like the hand-touching scenes in dnab and the first kiss in 9 1/2 days.

The fics differ in that dnab was written almost in a fever dream, in a hurry to meet the Erised deadline. The Cornwall fic (9 1/2 days) took five (5) years. But both are a great example of my writing and my views/ideas/headcanons and imagination.

love your fandom asks

I recently finished Never Mind the Bollocks by The_Sinking_Ship. Since that day, it has been living in my head rent-free, and will remain there. Perhaps for a long, long time.

Every time I try to collect my thoughts to articulate every single thing I loved about a fic, I just end up screaming and dying with the feels. So instead of words, here’s some drawn lines (and more screaming).