🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 Te Entiendo Jacques

Rocky’s Bar - “The Dream”

In my Pamela meta I wrote about how Dean’s actual wants and desires are things that he views are completely unattainable to him, even in a dream, and therefore the bar is the next best thing. I want to build on that point more and tie it in to my Pamela meta, because this bar, this dream scene, it was EVERYTHING.

On my first watch I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Dean, that this bar is his supposed happy place. That this is his “dream” life. But then when Sam and Cas are searching in the dark of Dean’s mind Cas says something that clued me in. He says “contentment”.

We need to discuss the difference between contentment and happiness, because they often get confused. Contentment isn’t a negative thing, but when you apply it to a season driven by want and desire, it’s the opposite of moving forward.

Being content means not having any desire or want for anything more than you currently have. It means being happy with your lot. Which is fine, but in this particular case, in Dean’s case, this is actually really sad. 

In Rocky’s bar, Dean has created his own prison (or it was created for him by Michael - we don’t ever actually find out.) He has surrounded himself with memories and mementos from his real life, which hint to all the things he is currently missing out on. Lets take a look:

The name “Rocky” from Rocky and Bullwinkle plus the taxidermy squirrel both represent Dean himself. It could also be a way of honoring Crowley who coined the name for the brothers.

Where there is a squirrel there must be a moose, and Sam is in pride of place up on the wall.

The Impala also has a place of honour on the wall, with it’s original license plate on display.

Death is also given a place. This reminds me of the Tiki bar where Dean killed Death, and it clearly is significant in his mind. It could also be placed here due to Dean’s continuous death and reincarnation.

The cowboy and cowgirl from 13x06 are also lurking in the background, a call back to a time when Dean truly was at his happiest that we’ve seen him for a while. Interestingly these only ever come into shot once Sam and Cas arrive, signifying a rise in Dean’s happiness level perhaps? Also I always love the symbolism of both the cowboy and the cowgirl being a nod to Dean’s bisexuality, but that’s just me. :P

Fred and Daphne appear carved into the bar, to honour another point in Dean’s memories where he was extremely happy. Though you’ll note that its specifically “Daphne loves Fred” and not the other way around. Whilst being a nice memento from a happy experience, it is also reminding Dean of rejection. 

Finally, it can’t be Dean’s mind without a nod to Cas, and Cas is not only clearly in view throughout most of the dream scenes, but he is accessible to Dean. Cas is of course the cosmic cowboy. The one item in the bar that Dean specifically calls attention to.

Dean surrounds himself with these things to remind him of happy points in his life and people he loves, but he himself is stuck in a miserable place. There is a storm raging outside, and the bar itself is empty, with one lone drunken patron (who turns out to be a monster hiding in plain sight). 

Pamela is his only companion, as Sam and Cas are out on a hunt together and he is separated from them, just waiting for them to return, hoping that they are okay. Pamela is just a friend, she has a hot date with her boyfriend while Dean has no one. He flirts, but he doesn’t actually want her. 

The only other character in the bar besides Dean and Pamela (and the vamps that attack every now and again) is the mystery business woman in a grey suit who offers to buy the bar for a generous amount, to which Dean continues to refuse. I was scratching my head over the purpose of this woman for a while. She is stoic and rather uptight, wearing a grey suit that screams angel. She refuses his offer of a drink both times she appears, and is insistent on buying the bar from him.

This woman, coded as an angel, is offering Dean a way out. She is offering him a chance to move on away from the mundane little bar he has settled in, but she isn’t going about it the right way, she isn’t warming him up, she isn’t relaxing, she isn’t accepting his drinks. They aren’t speaking the same language.

He repeats twice that the bar is “the dream” and tells the business woman that “this bar, I’ve never had anything this nice.” He repeats the mantra because his mind is telling him that this is all he can get. It’s nice, it’s a form of contentment, but is it truly what he wants? What he desires?

The woman tells him that the bar “is dead”. Dean doesn’t care. He is hostile towards her and she leaves in a huff. 

Where Pamela is Dean’s voice of reason and guidance, the business woman is a potential escape, but one not done in a way Dean can relate to. She is treated as a negative thing in this narrative, when really she could bring Dean something far greater than this mundanity. It is interesting how both Pam and the business woman are coded as aspects of Castiel in the subtext. 

Castiel is everywhere in this bar dream hidden in plain sight. Like the cosmic cowboy IPA that Dean clearly loves, or the crate of Texan Star he carried in from the store room which is oh so reminiscent of 8x23 and 9x06.

The most obvious example of want and desire among all these Castiel-coded things is the song playing on repeat over and over again. It is probably the most telling indication of all:

https://youtu.be/-xKvkZnF1MY

Searching for a Rainbow by The Marshall Tucker Band

I rode into town today… in my mind, I said ‘Lord I’d like to stay’.. Something in me said boy, move on… Don’t know what it is the good lord bred it in my bones..And I’m searchin for a rainbow, and if the wind ever shows me where to go, you’d be waiting at the end and I know, I’d see the hill with that pot of gold. I’d see the hill with that pot of gold

This old mount I’m ridin’, she’s gettin’ kinda’ tired, But in my heart she knows there’s this one desire…She’s gonna’ take me to the end of our road…. Then she’ll lay down and die and I’ll say 'God rest her soul’…….And I’m searchin for a rainbow, and if the wind ever shows me where to go, you’d be waiting at the end and I know, I’d see the hill with that pot of gold. I’d see the hill with that pot of gold

And I’m searchin for a rainbow, and if the wind ever shows me where to go, you’d be waiting at the end and I know, I’d see the hill with that pot of gold. I’d see the hill with that pot of gold And I’m searchin’ for a rainbow.. and if the wind ever shows me where to go, I’ll see the hill with that pot of gold…..I’ll see the hill with that pot of gold…

This song isn’t about a man living the dream, who is happy with what he has got. This is someone looking for something special, or someone. The lyrics talk about searching for a rainbow (which come on, I think the SPN writers would be well aware of the implications of rainbows to their majority queer fandom) and believing that “you’d be waiting at the end” .

I am sure that in my current social media blackout Destiel fandom has had a collective meltdown over this song. I’m shocked myself that they have chosen something so blatantly obviously about LOVE and with RAINBOW METAPHORS.

When taking the song, the angel coding and the conversation with Pam about love and want all into consideration, what is Dean’s dream really telling us? 

It’s not telling us that he is happy. No matter how much he repeats his mantra that this bar is “the dream”, everything else is at odds with that. 

Rocky’s bar is telling us that Dean has wants and desires.  He has people, things, feelings, that he wants to experience differently than before, or maybe even for the first time. He wants something more, maybe not marriage, but something, with a hunter or someone who understands the life. He wants to follow his heart because he is pining for someone. But that someone is not Pamela, it’s not Daphne, it’s not some pretty girl (because Dean doesn’t want that, he just likes to flirt). 

No. Dean wants a Cosmic Cowboy, and he’s searching for a rainbow. 

Just one more time?

Well, Ayrton was definitely always... In his own world.

+ Hadjar/Bortoleto. Because I recently learned that Isack likes anime

Oh I'd like to know about Meet me again

It's part of a writing challenge we were doing with a friend. Various Aus that are about a ship or fandom.

This one in particular was about an Au! Coffee Shop where Ayrton and Alain meet in the UK

Alain was there for a conference, He never became a driver and was a teacher, It was then that he went to a cafeteria and met Ayrton, who worked there.

Ayrton recognised him as a Karting champion and they started talking. Ayrton was still trying to get into a better Formula Ford category but his family's support was over as well as his money, so now he had other jobs.

"A teacher... I would never have imagined that."

Alain laughs which makes Ayrton smile and lean closer to the bar ready for another joke.

"I still think you'd be an excellent driver." He adds.

"Umh, my brother tells me the same thing. But I think my life is fine now... Just fine."

The name of the file comes from the fact that those would be the last words they would say to each other in the chapter (and perhaps forever). But it would be fun if Alain moved to the UK afterwards or Ayrton got another chance in France, Idk.

I had nothing to do today, so I started thinking about how many cm Alain's waist would be.

After a good while of looking at photos and doing calculations, I decided that it would be between 62-64 cm.

Reading so much about Ayrton must have given me some of his madness.

Exactly, that's what I've tried to convince everyone to get into this ship

2024 formula 2 season? a frenchman and a brazilian fighting for a championship? welcome back prosenna

so embarrassing when i forget im checking someone's blog and i start scrolling through and liking and reblogging shit as if it's just my dash. it feels like wandering into someone else's apartment and not noticing and making myself lunch

Rosie: Que elegante te ves hoy, hermano.

Hamish: Gracias, voy a una cita.

Rosie: Oh, creo que escuché que Emma también iba a ir a una cita...

Hamish: Sip, estoy yendo a sabotearla.

Rosie:...

Rosie: Bueno, eso tiene sentido.

The fact that most of the F1 drivers basically live next door to each other sounds like it's from a fanfic but no they really are all united by a shared love of tax evasion.