loserhotline
black | adhd haver | silly
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Latest Posts by loserhotline
Eddie: Steve, do you feel like Billy's been extra hot lately?
Steve: He's always hot!
STRANGER THINGS 5 Volume I, Nov. 26th Volume II, Dec. 25th The Finale, Dec. 31st
Maybe it’s a stupid headcanon but I love the idea of Billy and Max having interactions that are just such normal sibling behaviour.
Like Billy finishing off at least half of Max’s meals, as well as his own, because Max always leaves a little bit over. Or Max hiding Billy’s toothbrush in ridiculous places after they have a fight.
Just little moments of normality when it feels like Neil isn’t breathing down the back of their necks. And they both just get to be siblings again.
“billy’s not gay” okay why is he gay then
She placebo on my effect til I feel like something happened
I HEAR YOU
on episode 7 of overcompensating… carmen and grace yuri if you can hear me
Tropes I can't get enough of for 800.
denim and hairspray. metallica tapes in steve's beemer. empty locker rooms.
there's just SOMETHING about the harringrove aesthetic that gets to me. steve's empty house. sharing beers at the quarry. having sex in their cars. steve going insane over billy's cigarettes. idk
I don’t wanna get involved in the drama I just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened
billy has this- this urge.
this desire to be at someone’s feet; their beck and call. he wants to be needed.
craves being useful.
he goes loopy with it, gets hot and bothered by just the thought of servicing someone.
let him do it, let him be the target of pain, of degradation and humiliation, and put him back together again after all of it—
he wants it so bad.
thinking about how everyone would expect that steve was a good kid and eddie was a holy terror, but actually eddie was a really sweet kid. kind of quiet, unless you knew him enough for him to open up. a big reader. well behaved, even. ok, his grades were never great, but he was a pleasure to have in class. that's on his report card from third grade. he showed it to dustin once to win a bet.
it took a solid five years of bullying to change eddie munson from a sweet, nerdy kid into a loud delinquent with a chip on his shoulder. it was actually kind of impressive how long he held out.
steve, on the other hand, was a nightmare to have in class. you couldn't move him anywhere he couldn't be disruptive. he could talk to a brick wall. turn your back and suddenly the whole class was giggling at you, and you had to spend five minutes getting them back under control. you couldn't really discipline him, either, because his parents didn't give a shit and the principal thought he was adorable. he definitely started at least two food fights, not that you could prove it. cheated off everyone around him. pulled the fire alarm when he didn't feel like taking a test. absolutely brazen about it, too. that kid is going places, one of the teachers said to another, and the other one said yeah, to hell.
turns out they were right. hell improved him, at least.
I'm being oppressed
i hope it hurts a little less. day by day. week by week. i hope the ache in your chest eases. maybe it won't entirely, maybe it will. may the thought of feeling joy again alone be enough to keep you going, even if for a while.
billy meets andy in fourth grade.
andy’s a year older than the rest of the class and doesn’t ever talk.
billy gets paired with him for a project and andy doesn’t move. billy stands up and calls his name but he still doesn’t turn around.
“andy’s deaf, billy.” ms. mackenzie tells him.
“oh.” billy’s eyes widen. he’s stumped, for a moment. “um. how do i…”
billy trails off. not sure what he wants to ask, exactly.
“just make sure he can read your lips.”
billy nods. he walks over to stand in front of andy and holds out a hand. like he sees adults do. andy raises his eyebrows but takes billy’s hand. shakes it. billy tells him his name and andy smiles.
andy’s taller than billy. most people are but billy still whales on anyone who makes fun of andy. billy’s small, sure. but he’s scrappy.
he’s sitting outside the principals office with mark p’s blood on his knuckles when andy walks past. billy pulls a face and andy laughs.
billy likes it when andy laughs.
andy uses sign language to talk to his sister and his aunt.
teaches billy, when he asks.
billy shows some of it to his mom. teaches her how to tuck her two middle fingers down, index and little finger pointed skyward and thumb sticking out.
“like this?” she asks, forehead creased in concentration.
“uh-huh.” billy smiles. puffs out his chest. proud. “it means ‘i love you.’”
billy’s walking andy home when andy points up at the stars dotting a purple sky. signs pretty. billy walks right into him when he suddenly stops walking.
andy catches billy when he stumbles.
sand shifts beneath billy’s feet as he leans up on his toes to kiss andy. it’s childish. a quick peck, awkward and clumsy. billy doesn’t really know why he did it but andy doesn’t frown or push billy away.
he smiles, instead.
signs pretty again and hugs billy tight.
billy’s mom leaves and neil loses his job. they move away and billy doesn’t see andy again. neil calls him words that didn’t exist in andy’s world.
when billy’s seventeen, neil packs up again. takes him, max and susan to hawkins. neil’s family. and billy.
billy locks eyes with steve harrington across the parking lot in september. gets on his knees and blows him in tina’s parents guest bathroom in october.
steve corners him in the showers after practice the next day. reopens the split on billy’s lip and gets blood all over his own.
they communicate with hands, mostly. grabbing, pushing, pulling. jerking each other off in the backseat of steve’s car. fists come in to play when billy finds steve in a house alone with a bunch of kids, max included.
billy’s bruises are somehow worse a week later and steve tells him to come over that evening. doesn’t ask. just tells.
billy sneers. spits and swears at steve.
rocks on his heels as he waits on the harrington’s doorstep at 9:15.
“you’re late.” steve says.
billy doesn’t say anything. doesn’t need to.
something changes after that. steve fucks billy in his plaid nightmare of a room and drags him to the bathroom to dab at his cuts and scrapes right after.
brushes the backs of his knuckles across bruised ribs and frowns.
billy tugs at his hair and brings their lips together. almost gentle.
it’s too fragile for a name, whatever they have.
it’s summer when billy first mentions andy. billy’s sitting on steve’s bed and steve’s looking at him in the way that he does whenever billy reveals a part of himself. eager to soak it up and bask in it.
billy shows steve how to sign his name. how to say please and thank you, bitch and motherfucker.
“what’s-” steve’s hair has fallen over his forehead and billy reaches out to brush it back. unthinking. “what’s ‘i love you’?”
billy freezes.
his heart pounds. they haven’t- they don’t-
“you sweet on someone, harrington?” teasing is easy and billy’s a coward.
“oh, you know.” steve shrugs and it would be casual if he wasn’t looking at billy like that. “kinda.”
“yeah?” billy looks away. focuses on steve’s boxers which billy knows have been in that exact spot on the floor for the last three days. “anyone i know?”
“you might.”
billy shakes his head, grins. “hot?” he asks.
steve just nods, smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he edges his fingers towards billy’s on the comforter until they’re intertwined.
billy opens his mouth but steve leans forward and kisses the next smart ass response right off of his lips. winds long fingers into his hair and steals billy’s breath away.
makes his stomach do flips in that way that only steve can.
billy leaves with a smile on his face.
something crashes into his car on the drive back and everything goes dark.
five months, a ‘mall fire’, a shadow monster and seemingly endless hours stuck in a hospital bed later, billy finds himself in a house straight out of texas chainsaw, standing next to max as everyone debates on what to do next.
billy keeps quiet. doesn’t have much to say these days. he bites at his lower lip before looking across the room at steve.
steve smiles at him. something small and private.
everyone’s talking, no one’s paying attention to them.
steve raises his right hand. tucks his two middle fingers down and points the other two toward the ceiling, thumb sticking out.
billy’s cheeks flush and his heart pounds.
thinks it might jump right out of his chest if he isn’t careful.
his stomach does somersaults and he vows that if they get out of this, he’ll tell steve.
he’ll tell him.
for now he raises his left hand. two fingers down, two up, thumb out.
steve + 8
8. what's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?
mom steve feels like a cop out so i’m gonna go with making him too nice
like .. he has so much potential ! he is a bitch ! he’s mean ! he knows how to be nasty ! he knows how to stand up for himself !
let steve be a bitch again .. it’s good for the soul
a thing i noticed while rewatching asoue.
ok so. there's this consistent theme of count olaf not being able to work with other villains, right? and that was always implied to be because he's bad at teamwork (a traditional bad guy trait), and just kind of left at that.
BUT. HERE'S THE THING:
olaf being bad at teamwork makes perfect sense for his character. he's extremely self-centered, and never really had that "other people exist in the same way as me" realization that most people go through during their childhood. in other words, he completely lacks any sense of sonder, which is why he won't hesitate to leave someone the second they deviate from his plan.
but ohh no, that's not all.
see, another thing i noticed is that the reoccuring reason for other villains ditching olaf/olaf ditching other villains is a lack of understanding.
esmé and olaf never worked well together, because their motives were so different; esmé just wanted her sugar bowl back, meanwhile what olaf was seeking was much more complex: both a material good (the baudelaire fortune), but also a symbolic, indirect revenge on beatrice baudelaire for her involvement in his father's death. the reason the two couldn't work together was because they couldn't understand each other's perspectives.
it's even more interesting of a pattern when it comes to olaf and carmelita: in my head, it seems like olaf genuinely was reminded of a younger version of himself at first, but got irritated when she was too much like a younger version of himself (no experiance of the real word, spoiled rotten), from before his father died. in other words, a version of himself that was still in that place of privilege that he'd lost with his father. so olaf wasn't just annoyed with carmelita's entitlement, her presence and personality reminded him of what he'd lost and how that loss had changed him.
overall, i think a lot of olaf's actions have this theme of not having a lot, or having lost a lot. his house, his outfits, all of it indicates that at this point in his life, he's at his lowest. his dad's status implies he grew up in a place of privilege, but his life quickly went downhill afterwards.
i think that that's, to some degree, the reason he hates displays of wealth or wellness so much. even on a moral basis: he openly criticizes members of vfd for their perceived moral pureness or goody two shoes attitudes, because he sees it as dishonest. he's seen the bad side of vfd, and no longer has any sympathy for the "good" side. but beyond that, i think he envies their morality, since it's something he never had despite being raised the same way.
i also think that maybe olaf feels like he was never given a fair chance to do the right thing, since he was approached by the man with the beard but no hair and the woman with the hair but no beard right after his father's death, when he was emotionally vulnerable and easy to manipulate. he thinks that this means that he had no real choice, and is therefore not responsible for his actions.
but vfd members that have been through similar tragedies (the snicket siblings, larry, monty, josephine, etc) and still continue to do the right thing constantly remind olaf that the problem is his own nature (irresponsible, emotional, irrational, morally bankrupt) making him easy to manipulate, not just the circumstances of his life. their very existance proves that he had just as much of a fair chance as anyone else; that's why he hates them so much. he doesn't want to be responsible for his actions.
uhhh this got very off-track, and turned into me just analyzing count olaf's character, but oh well-
life is significantly less interesting now that i cannot share every thought that pops into my brain all day long. not to mention i can’t share my graduation pics 🪦🪦
plsplspls send them to my inbox. cute sad dump i listened to waiting room on repeat the last time we messaged :33
I don’t care if I know you bc we’re mutuals or I follow you or you follow me or if you’re just randomly on my dash/notes but if I see your url and I see that boop button you’re getting fucking booped
we are on like covid variant #100037 and rsv/flu/pneumonia cases are rising and people will show up unmasked and be like “yeah i’ve been sick for days :/” like. ok. Get the fuck away from me then? why are you out here breathing on everything. the very least you could be doing is masking. NOT hacking into open air every two seconds.
ngl diggie and joey from liv and maddie are steddie in a different font
pretty girls listen to nu metal