Truly Love

Lost

I lost the hunger but still have the love.

Split between the two.

Who I was and who I am.

Trying to find a common, that area filled with caution.

Is that trauma or am I just hiding ?

Hiding from the fact I can’t reach certain heights.

Is this lack of preparation or perspective ?

Im destined but my story is still being written.

I can choose any path but I don’t have no sense of direction.

I am lost.



Never lose sight

Black is beauty.

Dark is elegant.

Loving how the sun bounce of your melanin.

What you telling em. Radiant, nothing less than.

No degrading, only praising.

Severance for mental separation.

For the years looking for acceptance, second guessing.

You’re a blessing and you shine every second.

Relish in your skin.

You are cherished.

Never change for someone’s prejudice.

Midnight

At night is when the darkness come to flirt.

It’s jealous of your joy.

It hopes to destroy with no remorse.

In torch your thoughts.

Exposing your faults.

Depleting your source.

Your endorphins running thin.

Walls closing in.

These mental wars has no end.

Want to scream for help but no one understand.

Nor do they care to give a damn.

This pain is in command.

Now you’re sitting in a pool of your own sweat.

Living through all your regrets.

Within yourself you digress.

Your stress take center stage.

Putting on a show for the ages.

Taking a bow for your devastation.

Impression

Born in a less than ideal situation.

Having to find a way to elevate when you only see devastation.

Learning to be a better person when you only see questionable foundations.

And don’t you dare think differently.

You’ll be singled out and shamed.

Stay in a child's place is all they paint until it’s stained.

What you speak will cross everyone's ear frames.

Can’t even be confined to a parent.

Your feelings will be displayed on a canvas and they wonder why our trust vanished.

Now opening up is so phantom.

Their lack of loving, patience, and directions makes us less equipped for future relations.

Choosing yelling over communication.

Leaving us with no understanding of our transgressions.

Not knowing who we become is a reflection of their lack of preparation.

Forcing us to grow up too early.

Not mentally but with responsibilities.

Hindering our possibilities.

Encasing us in their own Insecurities.

Highlighting similarities from a parent with ongoing hostilities.

Basing our capabilities on theirs.

That ain’t fair.

We ain’t ask to be here, we’re products of two toxic pairs who don’t know how to actually care.

Ain’t saying the love ain’t there but there’s certain ways a child needs to be love that parents are unaware.

Diamonds

My emotions in a gutter.

Struggling to recover but I smile, it stop all the questions.

They can’t relate to the hurting of my essence.

Miss using my presence.

Saying I’m precious but only when I have blessings.

Never when I’m looking for guidance.

I’m sinking under the weight of the world.

All this pressure but can’t make diamonds.

Darts

Forever playing darts with my heart.

Dicing it to pieces.

Lost in the blackness.

Acting so wouldn’t see the sadness.

You was the captain of my madness.

Taking my breath away.

Now I can’t feel nothing.

Haven’t crushed in a minute.

Can’t get the same high.

The L different but the smoke keep showing you.

Then I realize y’all one in the same.

Only here for the moment.

I’m here to showcase my writing I hope you enjoy

Black Man

I’m black but also human.

I’m a man but I also have emotions.

Can’t show no fear but I’m freighted.

A bullet can come my way, from a cop or op that looks just like me.

Deep down, I struggle with that notion.

I want to see everyone grow.

Be the best that they can be but we fight these burdens of everyday life.

It’s layered on top of us.

Layers that prevents us from seeing our true self.

They say we’re hiding but we’re buried.

Suffocating, gasping for air but no one hears.

Or do they even care cause we’re men that are black and the odds are always stacked.





Who Am I ?

Poisoned by the bonds that ties.

Your inner self is so shy.

Hiding behind a culture’s eyes.

If you don’t follow the dotted lines, you get the evil eye.

You conform cause your faults are magnified.

Tired of hearing your own cries, you find a mask to disguise.

Your identity losing supply.

Who I am?

Purest

Your the purest skin but treated like the latter.

And black man we scattered.

My perception of us has shattered.

We suppose to be kings who uplift our queens but lately we been leading them to disaster.

And all I hear is laughter.

Jokes and games like we all wasn’t in chains.

We should be put to shame but we can never see the errors in ways.

We’re men, this how we’re train.

We received praise for what slay.

Never taught restraint.

How to deal with pain.

This is probably why we reciprocate in harsh ways.

Projecting it on our beautiful reflections.

Choosing lighter complexion cause they don’t call us out on our lack of direction.

I will never understand this disconnection.

I will never get the lack rage.

This boil the blood in my veins.

How we allow them to stand alone through all their agony and pain.

Down play all their accolades cause we hate to see them be great.

Hate see them achieve more than what we can equate.

What we bring to plate would deflate any mate who choose to engage.

Instead of upgrade we display hate to heal our ego that’s already in fragile state.

Then when we flip the tape and blame it on their traits.

The way we manipulate, irritates.

It’s time for a change of pace.