@soldierofidiots You’re Actually Not A Real Person, Just Very Convincing Three Raccoons In A Trench

@soldierofidiots You’re actually not a real person, just very convincing three raccoons in a trench coat

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More Posts from Magpie-black-and-white and Others

7 months ago

[This idea has been rattling in my brain and I had to share it.]

I know we all love the ‘humans are space orcs’ concept… but imagine, onboard the new ship they’ve been assigned to, the human meets an actual space orc. A massive monster… fangs and tusks and scars and a battle-hardened stare, looming over all the other life forms on the ship in its thick indestructible armour it refuses to remove. It barely drinks, it doesn’t need sleep, its massive shoulders are heavy with the terrible things it has experienced. Compared to the squishy & delicate human body, this thing is a walking tank.

… Except instead of hating/ignoring one another, the human and the monster start bonding over both coming from death planets. The human is excited to find a life form who doesn’t quiver with fear at the vague description of a jellyfish and the monster is ecstatic to meet someone who understands the feeling of being bitten by a qua’lem (cats are pretty close). They sit together and compare dangerous animals and locations as the other aliens look on in confusion and fear… oh, you also have dense jungles of deadly hidden predators, boiling acid lakes, tamed predatory killers, and areas with horrendously high and low temperatures? Sick!! 

It doesn’t take long before the two of them become totally inseparable. The human loves not feeling like some kind of crazy outsider and the monster is overjoyed they’ve finally found an equal in this unkillable marshmallow.

Monster: When I was a youngling, a grol-lik stung straight through my armour. The pain lasted for approximately 16 human hours. Human: Oh yeah man, I get that. As a kid I got a wasp stuck in my shirt. It stung me like four times, it was awful, and all my cousins just laughed at me… Monster: [using their arm screen to research human courting methods] I see.

7 months ago
This Is By Far The Most Aesthetic Picture I’ve Ever Taken. No It’s Not Edited In Any Way

This is by far the most aesthetic picture I’ve ever taken. No it’s not edited in any way


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4 months ago

Saw a man in a balaclava today and found him attractive. Needless to say I‘ve realised it’s not a mask kink, I just only like men when I see basically nothing of them


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9 months ago

I think in the same way there's a 90/10 rule with horror and comedy (horror works best when it's 90% horror and 10% comedy and vice versa) there's a 90/10 rule for some relationships in fiction that's like. Wholesome and fucked up. A good friendship is at its most compelling when it's also 10% a bit fucked up. Fucked up relationship is at its most compelling when there's at least 10% of something actually sweet and substantive within. Do you get me

4 months ago

PRESS Ⓐ TO BE WEIRD AND UNSETTLING

6 months ago

Woke up in a cold sweat at 3am and wrote this in my notes

Woke Up In A Cold Sweat At 3am And Wrote This In My Notes

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3 months ago

He wants me to fuck him through the hole in his hazmat suit so bad but lowkey it isnt even him in there anymore

3 months ago

“what that mouth do” gnaw on bone and chew through ligaments

3 months ago
Happy Thursday The 20th

happy Thursday the 20th

3 months ago

The thing about reclaiming slurs is that once you've been affectionally called 'faggot' by friends, loved ones, and amiable fellows on the internet for long enough, you almost forget that it means something else to people who hate you.

Honestly at this point if a stranger on the street yelled "hey faggot!" after me, I'd probably turn around like "what?" like they'd just casually called me by name, and they were only trying to get my attention because they wanted to tell me something, before processing that they're being hostile.

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magpie-black-and-white - Hi, I’m a magpie
Hi, I’m a magpie

21 ⁺˳✧༚ Queer ⁺˳✧༚ Any pronouns, go wild I post. Very occasionally

216 posts

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