Made This Yesterday Out Of Boredom

Headcanon that whenever Martin's social battery runs out, he just involuntarily vanishes from existence until he could recharge again

I think being a shapeshifter would fix me

it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no i shut it off and back on again why are you still here

Tumblr makes sense to me bc if i see something i like i get excited and hit the button to show other people and theres no weird unspoken social conventions my autistic brain doesnt understand. I can literally sit here and reblog 150 niche shitposts about harvest mice in an hour just bc they make me happy and i dont have to explain myself to anyone and i'll actually *gain* followers instead of just being called weird and downvoted or whatever its so cool

everyone talks about the insane sweetness of candy corn and candy corn pumpkins but people rarely touch on the monument to confectionary hubris that is the cadbury creme egg

if shes your girl, then whys she breastfeeding me?

shes my girl and you are our beautiful son. welcome to the world my boy

I’m crying over this picture

(me, my parents, my sister, and the baby are sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch)

baby, pointing at the light fixture over the table and signing "on": o.*

my sister: we actually can't turn that light on right now, because the lightbulb inside is burnt out! it needs a new one.

baby: ighbu.

sister: yes, lightbulb! granddaddy said after we eat he's going to climb up there on a ladder and change it, and then the light will come on!

baby: gadada! adda, uuu! ighbu o!

sister: exactly!

baby, signing "on" and pointing at the light and then my dad, with increasing urgency: GADADA ADDA UUUU. O.

my sister: we're going to finish eating first though, ok?

baby: nonono. O. gadada adda uuu.

[a split second goes by]

baby, pointing to himself: ba. adda uuu. ighbu.

me: you're going to climb the ladder and change the lightbulb yourself?

baby: dzyeah. *pointing to the buckle where he is buckled into the high chair* ububu.

me: unbuckle you? so you can change the lightbulb?

baby, highly businesslike: dzyeah.

*pronounced like "on" without the n

Hey, don't cry. Five thousand fanfic daydream scenarios inside your head about the super-obscure fictional character you've latched onto like an orphaned duckling, okay?

Love the word "also". I have more things to say