The Unwillingness Of Stranger Things Fans To Engage With Billy's Story In A Thoughtful, Nuanced Manner

The unwillingness of Stranger Things fans to engage with Billy's story in a thoughtful, nuanced manner is symptomatic of a larger problem in how we treat survivors. When this attitude is applied to real survivors, it leads to systemic barriers that eventually kill them.

People are constantly bringing a Survival of the Fittest mentality to the discussion table when it comes to survivors of abuse, but "fittest" broadly means people who survived abuse in the most socially acceptable manner. Anyone who doesn't survive the way they're supposed to is deemed unworthy of it, and in the case that a survivor eventually does die due to what they have to endure then their death is celebrated for "proving" that bad survivors don't deserve to survive.

Even if you pay lip service to it, it's not enough to claim empathy for Billy as a survivor in your analysis while criticizing his actions if in the act of criticizing his actions, you project your prejudices towards survivors onto him. That includes placing blame onto him for things he did not say or do. That includes ignoring his circumstances. That includes blaming him for things he did not have agency over, such as the complete loss of bodily autonomy he explicitly suffers on screen.

There's a good reason why "nobody ever says" that Billy was physically abusive to Max because there is no evidence that Billy was physically abusing her, and we need to stop cheapening the word "abuse" to refer to any instance of violence. A fight is not abuse. The fact that Billy has gotten into physical altercations or even started them is no indication that Billy does or will abuse his sibling.

This belief that survivors who are reactive to perceived threats and to violence are abusive in their own lives is in fact harmful to survivors. I am not discounting the fact that survivors can become abusers. However, abuse involves a pattern of behavior that establishes power and control over a victim.

Any violence or cruelty towards Max is not excusable, but Billy does not continually physically abuse Max. If that was the story they wanted to tell, then we would have seen evidence of it. We didn't. He grabbed her wrist once and let her go. Any time he is on Max's case about where she is and what she is doing is because he is put in charge of her by their parents. We did in fact see the consequences of Max not "obeying" Billy - Billy gets beaten.

You cannot divorce Billy's attitude and behavior towards Max from the fact that her very presence jeopardizes his safety and survival. You also cannot ignore the fact that Max's parents are at fault for endangering her life if Billy did abuse her. But, there is no concrete evidence that Billy was abusing Max in the manner that some of you like to argue. The fact of the matter is that Billy wanted nothing to do with her and vice versa.

It is absolutely disingenuous and disgusting to then (mis)characterize Billy based on the possession of his body and striping of his agency to portray him as a physically and sexually abusive monster who preys on his sister when he consistently wants nothing to do with Max. You cannot be serious, and you cannot be trusted to talk about abuse survivors when you're more willing to fantasize about Max as a victim than you are willing to acknowledge all the ways in which Billy was systematically abused and controlled by his father, by the adult women preying on him, by the Mindflayer, by Vecna...