Keeping Promises

grief is so crazy like what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. does she know i loved her. i miss her so much. i catch myself doing things she used to do. i wish i could call her. i miss her so much. i do a crossword puzzle. i cry while washing the dishes. does she know i loved her? my heart feels like a hummingbird. i miss her so much. what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. what if i forget.

everyone from childhood seems to have carved out a life for themselves. i still feel 15 and completely hopeless

do you ever think about eddie counting the seconds buck was dead for and just. cry. because like. he was counting the seconds buck was gone for, but he didn’t actually know buck was gonna come back to life, did he. what would he have done if buck didn’t come back? he would’ve kept counting, wouldn’t he? he would’ve counted every second he’s living and buck isn’t. every second he’s breathing and buck isn’t. he would’ve never stopped counting.

The idea that language is a game at which some players are more skilled than others has a bearing on the vexed relationship between loneliness and speech. Speech failures, communication breakdowns, misunderstandings, mishearings, episodes of muteness, stuttering and stammering, word forgetfulness, even the inability to grasp a joke: all these things invoke loneliness, forcing a reminder of the precarious, imperfect means by which we express our interiors to others. They undermine our footing in the social, casting us as outsiders, poor or non-participants.

Olivia Laing, The Lonely City

hey man I found a piece of your soul stuck in the text messages of old friends you don’t speak to anymore. do you want it back

Finished the Viktor piece in time for his birthday!

On Friendship.

loneliness is so stupid let's do illegal things together instead

the way god has set me up to be the loneliest girl in literally any room group environment or dynamic

I love listening too tma in order because it's like

Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,viscerally unpleasant horror,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode, something that touches at the core or what makes you you, puts words to sensation you have had following you your entire life, alters you as person, Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode, viscerally unpleasant horror, Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode,Cool episode, HOMOSEXUAL OCCURRENCES!!!