Could You Please Go More On Harry And Sirius And Their Relationship? I Love Them So Much.

The greatest song ever written was conjured by an Italian for a scene in a Western filmed in Spain where a Polish man pretending to be a Mexican bandit does a gay little run through a graveyard for three and a half minutes uninterrupted

Something I realised listening to PoA today was:

When Aunt Marge comes to stay, Harry takes her stuff up to the spare room.

The. SPARE. Room.

Now. We find out that Harry was in the cupboard partly because Dudley was using a spare room for his stuff and whatever but that Harry moves into that room by book 2.

From the information we have, we can assume Harry was still sleeping in that room when Aunt Marge comes to visit. Aunt Marge who is also in her own room.

Meaning there must have always been two spare rooms and yet Harry was still shoved in the cupboard?!?!?!?!

Derailing Harry Potter plots in under 5 minutes: Ghosts

The Bloody Baron was a little confused by the number of students on the grounds, werewolves, professors, convicts, and not-convicts. But as far as he was concerned the convict had protected the kids and the not-convict-rat nearly confessed to multiple cases of murder and one case of ratting (heh) people out to their murderer. He wanted to let everybody know that.

Expanding on this post. I imagine the split from canon to go a little something like this:

Harry Potter is left on the doorstep of Privet Drive 4 and the tabby cat turns the corner and disappears from Surrey. Minerva McGonagall apparates to the outskirts of Hogwarts’ wards and maybe stands still in the November night, still stiff from a day spent on a wall, and watches the lights flicker in the castle’s windows. And maybe that is when the news, the impossible news, the news she hadn’t wanted to believe set in.

Voldemort is dead. And so are the Potters her students James and Lily are dead.

Protective, kind, just Lily and bold, boisterous, caring James.

And maybe she turns her back to Hogwarts-classes aren’t taking place anyway and her absence has been dealt with for a day already-and blindly makes her way down to Hogsmeade. She passes by the lights of the Three Broomsticks, where the jubilant and noisy celebrations ring so wrong within her. Past the dark windows of stores still partially fortified from years of war until her shoulder pushes the door of the Hog’s Head open.

Aberforth Dumbledore is just closing up when she stumbles in and orders a firewhisky in a monotonous voice. He knows her as he knows every teacher, from going for a drink and chat away from impressionable students’ eyes. But he knows her with a proud posture and clear eyes-a far cry from the witch in front of him. So he cleans up around her and locks the door and windows with a spell as he tips off her glass and fills one of his own.

Halfway through her third glass (not firewhisky, but something harmless that burns just as badly he keeps under the counter for the odd student on a dare) Minerva starts talking. About Lily and her refusal to give up on friends. About James and his skill in Quidditch and Transfiguration and abysmal grasp on the theory behind it. About relief after eleven years of war and the number of years leading up to it and how can they celebrate when so many are gone? About James and Lily’s little son, just past one, left alone with muggles, with a letter, next to the milk-And Aberforth’s alarm bells start ringing.

He may never have had children of his own, but he once had a sister he loved dearly and whom he took care of for long, too short years. Who had been harmed irreparably by people who didn’t understand magic. Leaving a magical child with muggles is the worst idea since dementors. And leaving a magical child of over a year (don’t they walk by then?) alone, outside, IN NOVEMBER does decidedly not sound particularly bright either, how in Merlin’s name did the boy end up in that situation? Oh, his brother had decided that would be the best course of action for the child? On the grounds he “has to be kept from his fame”? And only that? Are you quite certain the lad has nobody else left in the world, Minerva? Sirius Black is his godfather? That sounds about right, he and James snuck in here a couple of times, dragging those other two along. Well there you have it, Black must be worried sick if he can’t find his godson. Give the Potter boy to him, who knows what could happen to him in a muggle neighbourhood.

Minerva and Aberforth keep talking for the rest of the night. And bit by bit his staunch refusal to take his brother’s word as gospel on anything resembling childcare and his willingness to listen to her rambling contemplations and worries enable Minerva McGonagall to allow her own judgement free development, unhindered by decisions imposed by one Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.

It is funny to me how Harry Potter is literally the main character, yet people tend to go like he didn't suffer that much or he wasn't "abused"; Like, how can one misunderstand the literal main character of the damn franchise?

He wasn't abused; yes okay. He absolutely did not grow up inside a cupboard; the tiny place that is mostly reserved for brooms or cleaning supply. He absolutely was not treated inferior to the other child who lived in the same house. He was totally was not treated like a "freak" or a "stain" that his family was ashamed off. He grew up inside a cupboard while there was a literal unused bed in the same house. And you want to know what that screamed to a child, a baby — who slept inside a cupboard while there being a perfectly usable room right there? You are worth nothing and we don't love you and we are ashamed of what you are.

He wasn't starved, or at least he was fed; Yeah, no. We see it from the first book. How Vernon was no food for you and in the cupboard you go — and by the looks of it, that was like his most common punishment. And then, in the second book — you practically see it happen. He was locked, inside a room with only a can of soup that he shared with Hedwig. Now, tell me what it would do to a child — to be given food through a cat flap, and fun fact? Harry got to eat less than people on war rations; in short? He was starved, yes.

He wasn't abused physically so it's not abuse; As for people's thinks abuse isn't abuse until it's physical (which is inherently wrong because abuse isn't only physically, fyi); Harry has learned to dodge Vernon and he states that, very proudly when his uncle tries to grab him. He dodges a flying pan and states that fact, again very proudly as if it is the norm; do you know how heavy pans are? And do you know what would happen when one hits you? If you want an even clearer proof; Vernon Dursley strangles Harry in Ootp. There you go. Also, in the first book, we clearly see Vernon encouraging Dudley to hit Harry. Read between the lines and actually try to understand what that signifies.

And favourite part; When he wasn't treated like a prisoner, or a freak— he was their servant. And that is very much canonical. Tending Petunia's garden during summers and drinking from the water hose in the garden because of how hot it was? Having to wake up early so he can tend the kitchen and when he wasn't doing all that he is locked away. And it is all canon.

In conclusion, Harry— not only grew up to think that he was inhumane, undeserving of love, a freak that didn't even get to have his own bed because someone like him didn't deserve it, physically harmed enough times that he dodges them out of reflex and also the Dursleys' glorified servant; that is not even taking into account what Harry went through in Hogwarts. And after all that if someone tells me; this child, right here — didn't go through much then well, maybe read the books again?

One of my all time favourite ff plots is “Minerva McGonagall raises Harry Potter”. She is a delightfully capable, sassy, surprisingly devious (”it unscrews the other way”), and protective (”he is a boy not a piece of meat”) witch and therefore highly qualified to derail any schemes around Harry.

Sadly, going by the book prologue, she is downright blindly devoted to one Albus Dumbledore and looks only to him for guidance and information. This makes her extremely unlikely to kidnap a toddler against her leader’s explicit wishes on a whim and just because “those muggles will never understand him”.

But who do we know Minerva would know and get along with, has a decent moral compass, and is extremely willing to call out Dumbledore’s idiocies?

AU/UA in which Minerva McGonagall strikes up an alliance with Aberforth “break my brother’s nose cause he ain’t shit” Dumbledore and they eventually rescue Harry after checking up on him and seeing the Dursleys’ less than stellar performance in child rearing.

What if...

Petunia channeled her anger at growing apart from Lily and her jealousy into hating Severus Snape instead of magic itself? Snape was the initial factor drawing her sister away from her and has caused her harm directly.

she already referred to him as “that horrible boy” in canon, what if she genuinely hates him primarily in this universe?

then she overhears him raging about someone from Hogwarts to Lily after first year and decides whoever this “James Potter” person is, he is her new favourite person on the planet.

during the summer after the “mudblood incident” the Evans sisters reconcile

Petunia is judgmental and suspicious and Lily is bold and optimistic, but she knows the tensions in the wizarding world and Petunia listens to her stories with growing worry and starts thinking about safety measures

when Lily returns to Hogwarts, she never mentions her sister. She hides the letters they write in code and keeps her sister’s existence and their renewed relationship a closely guarded secret

their parents pass away and the sisters stand side by side at the funeral

Petunia packs her bags and moves to the city, where she meets Vernon Dursley

Lily starts fancying James Potter and to her surprise her sister is fully prepared to think well of him

once they are engaged, Lily introduces James to Petunia after getting the promise he would never mention her to anyone magical to protect her

social rank appreciating Petunia approves of the match, thinking that “even if of the weird kind, he is a proper person”, but she does not attend the wedding. it is passed off to those who inquire after Lily’s family as the sisters having grown apart early in their childhood

Lily and James however do attend Petunia’s wedding to Vernon Dursley, magic staying a closely kept secret, and help Petunia with her move to Surrey

when James and Lily are notified that Voldemort is after Harry, Lily immediately turns to her sister

Petunia is suspicious and pragmatic and resolute and suggests hiding far away from wizarding areas and cutting contacts as much as possible, especially after she hears about the spy in the Potters’ inner circle

she stretches her neck over hedges and pokes her nose into businesses until she learns that the folks in Number 2 Privet Drive are to move out within the month

James and Lily are taught the Fidelius Charm by Dumbledore and still hatch the plan of a decoy keeper with Sirius

but Lily is bold and optimistic and not going to take no for an answer and delves into blood magic until she can bind the secret and make Petunia Dursley their secret keeper

few magical people know of Lily Evans’ sister, nearly all of them believe they were estranged, none of them know that Miss Evans went to be Mrs Dursley or her new address

and only James and Lily know they moved from Gordric’s Hollow to Number 2 Privet Drive and keep in contact with the wizarding world only through the mirror to Sirius, who believes them in the wizarding town

Sirius and Peter believe the secret keeper to be Peter Pettigrew (who does keep the location of the house in Gordric’s Hollow), everybody else believes it to be Sirius Black, Petunia Dursley believes having her sister near and not being allowed to talk about it is a special kind of torture

ESPECIALLY because she alone has to deal with seeing James Potter prancing around the back garden now filled with over-glorified weeds (potion ingredients, her sister calls them) and sensible vegetable plots

he prances as a stag

and she has nobody to gossip about that with

she does enjoy the occasional visit at her sister’s while Vernon is at work though. And her Dudders does improve his speech quite nicely by babbling back and forth with his cousin

TL;DR: the Evans Sisters reconcile after the “mudblood incident” and the Potters hide next door to Number 4 Privet Drive with Petunia as the secret keeper. Peter unknowingly keeps the secret to an empty house as an additional cover

it comes in handy when Voldemort shows up in Gordric’s Hollow

I just can't read OotP without getting furious on Sirius's behalf.

This man lost his entire world the night James and Lily were murdered, he was then convicted for betraying the people he loved most in the world to Voldemort and when he finally managed to escape, after 12 years with the dementors, he had to endure not only Molly throwing in his face the fact that he wasn't there for his godson during these years but also an actual former Deatheater taunting him for not doing anything for the Order– you know, due to the tiny detail of a false mass-murder charge against him.

All while everyone was condescendingly telling him to do as Dumbledore says– the same Dumbledore that didn't raise a finger when he, a member of the Order during the first war, was locked up in Azkaban without so much as a trial and then hired one of Voldemort’s followers during the same war (and the one responsible for sending his Master after the Potters!) as a teacher and gave him free reign to bully his students.

It's a wonder the poor man fucking kept it together while stuck in the house of the pureblood-obsessed parents he spent his entire pre-Azkaban life trying to escape.

How would the conversation among Severus Snape and Lily and James Potter be in the afterlife?

Here’s how I imagine would go:

Snape arrives in afterlife. Then someone runs up to him and slaps him across the face. Lily is furious.

Snape: Lily?

Lily: You don’t get to call me that you disgusting bastard!

Snape: I protected your son!

Lily: (Laugh coldly) Since when is “protect” to make him feel as miserable as he can, humiliate him, be totally unfair to him?

Snape: I did that all for you!

Lily: For me? For me! No. You did that because you were obsessed over me. You deprived my son his chance of family and the least you could have done is treat him fairly. I didn’t expect you to treat him like a king. Was it so hard to treat him fairly?

James: That’s enough Lily. (Looks at Snape) You’re sick you know that? I know I bullied you at school but tell me. What did Harry do to you? You punished a son for his father’s wrong doings? A father he never got to meet because you ran along to your master to tell him the prophecy?

James and Lily walks away together. Sirius comes and says “You’re an amazing Occlumency teacher. You know that?” and spits at him. Remus and Nymphadora just looks at him coldly, Mad Eye looks at him with disdain.

Dobby comes and says “You is a bad teacher! For hurting Great Harry Potter sir!” Charity Burbage punches him in the face “How does it feel to get killed by a snake? Not pleasant right?”

Fred comes and sniggers. “Snivellus? Never knew that before.” and the victims of the first war all give them handful of yelling. “Death eater scum!” (Snape had no problem being a death eater in the first war until Lily was involved.)

Finally, Longbottom family comes, cracking their knuckles. “What did Neville ever do to you?”

Yes, Snape did good things, but he was only ever on the good side for selfish reasons. But he also did countless bad things. Just saying “Hey, you saved my son! Thanks! (hug)” just doesn’t make sense to me.

Harry Potter spends a lot of time in the hospital wing and that usually because of unusual, complicated, or downright weird even for magical standards conditions. Some of those should even by all rights affect his entire body.

So AU (UA?) in which Madam Pomfrey casts a general diagnosis charm on him, spots the signs of abuse, and rains terror on everybody with a hand in creating Harry’s childhood.

As I like to think of it: Harry Potter and the Angry Healer