Lexi, Hi!! We Moved On Too Quickly From Folio With Red Nails. Think About Him Too Much. What Was That

nick folio tonight @ rockville

Will you wait me out?

Summary: You were one of the best of friends—maybe a little bit more—and maybe, if life hadn’t gotten in the way, things could be different now, but instead, a decade after you once knew Noah, you see his face again and find yourself chasing ghosts in the form of old memories, before finally coming face to face with the past.

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader.

CW: none really, a little bit sad a lot of pinning by reader, implied old feelings, old friends, potentially high school sweethearts, lots of ‘what ifs’.

The first time you see his face again, it’s like seeing a ghost. He looks older now—his features sharper—and though his hair is much shorter than the overgrown wolf cut you remember, even in grayscale, you recognize those doe-like brown eyes.

His face sits front and center in a group shot on the cover of a magazine—a rock magazine highlighting Bad Omens as Best International Artist. Something inside you swells and flutters. Pride, you think. You always believed he would go far with his words, envied his ability to lay them out so eloquently, weaving them into songs.

Maybe if you had, too, he wouldn’t feel like a footnote in the story of your life. The bond you shared, that special something you’d been too scared to name back then—love—could have come to fruition.

The magazine sits on your coffee table for a week—unopened, but face-up—so you can glance down at him and the rest of the guys. You didn’t stick around in Virginia long enough to meet Jolly, but you’d briefly crossed paths with Folio and managed to forge something of a friendship with Nicholas—Noah’s best friend.

It takes you another week before you finally open the magazine with the intention of reading it—at least the article. Most of it’s about the music, the new album, the trajectory of it all. Then your eyes glaze over the part of the interview that touches on the recent popularity of their song Just Pretend on TikTok. He doesn’t have to name you outright for you to know what influenced it, how the lyrics were written about you. He never had to explicitly say, because you always knew.

You never really ventured into the band’s discography. You followed subtly, heard their name crop up here and there, but it seems they’ve recently broken new ground—though it doesn’t surprise you. Nick and Noah had always been talented, and with the addition of Jolly and Folio, you can only imagine what they’ve achieved.

When you finally take the plunge, diving into their music from the start, you find yourself struggling through parts. There are too many similarities about you and him hidden in the subtext of the lyrics. You make it through, even as it tears at your heart, dredging up memories you’d long since tucked away—kept safe in a lockbox deep inside you.

Three weeks pass, and you find yourself buying three more copies of the magazine: one you saw on display in a coffee shop, one from a convenience store, and one from a Hot Topic window—though that one took a bit of bartering.

In double that time, the number increases to nearly quadruple. At this point, you’re probably the sole owner of almost every copy in the city. You’re not sure when or why the collection began, but now it follows you from place to place, and in every new location you reach, you pick up another. You read them just as often, too—your first copy as beaten and battered as you feel every time you dare to torture yourself by re-reading the same passages of the interview you know will tear your heart to shreds.

This wasn’t how it was meant to go for the two of you—him writing songs about your what ifs, and you learning everything you can through the tiniest pieces of his soul he bares in his music and interviews.

The thought of it breaks your heart all over again.

Less than a month later, you’re in a new town. As you pick out a postcard for your family back home, you find yourself choosing another—for him. You don’t know what prompts you, exactly. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s been on your mind a lot more lately.

You send it to the band’s P.O. box. It’s the only form of contact you have left, after being laughed at by a stranger on the other end of the phone. You had called the number listed on the band’s record label website, hopeful that maybe—just maybe—you’d get to speak to him. The woman who answered wasn’t apologetic. In fact, she seemed amused, as though you were just another eagle-eyed fan chasing a long shot. Maybe things would’ve gone differently if she had known who you are to him… who you were.

Your message is simple—a response to his lyrics:

I’m still out here. I’ll wait you out. – x

You consider adding more, but decide against it. There’s always next time. If there is a next time.

There is—multiple, in fact. Every new place you go, you find a postcard just for him. Your messages are short, pointed. You mention the things you’ve been doing—the ones you once promised you’d do together someday. You tell him where you are, even though it doesn’t matter. By the time he gets it, you’ll already be somewhere else.

Do you remember when I told you my biggest fear was roller coasters too, and that one day we’d conquer that fear together? We weren’t together, but I went—for you. For us. I threw up afterward, and all I could think about was how you’d be fretting over me for at least an hour. I always think about things like that. Your caring heart. I miss it. I miss you. – x

I went ice skating at the Rockefeller Center. I remember you once told me you’d never been, that you couldn’t skate. I promised I’d take you. There were a couple of kids there who looked like they were in love. They held onto each other as they skated. They made me think of you. They made me think of us. – x

I never told you, but I always knew you’d go far with your music. I’m proud of you. – x

I thought I saw you today. I followed the guy for about ten blocks before I realised it wasn’t you. In fact, he looked nothing like you. I see you a lot lately—in the faces I pass. – x

I think of you a lot. I only hope you still think of me too. – x

It’s confirmed: Chicago does have the best pizza. They also have the best hospital vending machine selection. (Only one night in A&E) – x

My family still asks about you sometimes. They remember you—call you my “funny friend” because you always made them laugh. It hurts to hear them call you my friend. You were always so much more than that. I’m sorry I was too late to realise it. – x

Even now, his face continues to haunt you. His ghost follows you, lingering in the memories you’re making alone—the ones born from promises you once made together. You carry him with you still. The nine magazine copies have doubled. Magazines, CDs, even a Japan-exclusive edition you found tucked away on the back shelf of a Goodwill.

You convince yourself to go to a concert. It’s not a large venue—one of their smaller shows. You’re in town, not by coincidence, so why not? You stay out of sight, near the back of the crowd, and you’re thankful you thought ahead, because when he starts singing the opening lyrics of Just Pretend, you feel your composure slipping.

You don’t make it through the whole thing.

You slip away before he has the chance to see you, bumping into someone on your way out. For a brief moment, you freeze—panicked, apologetic—until you lift your gaze and find yourself staring into a familiar face.

You’d almost forgotten the possibility of Davis—the second person Noah has known as long as Nick. You catch the flicker of recognition in his eyes and move quickly to slip past, but then you hear him calling your name.

You don’t respond. You don’t look back. You just leave and hope to God he doesn’t realise he’s right.

You’ve been checking every date since the band’s tour schedule was released. You’ve followed nearly every city with the intention of going, of seeing them—of seeing him, but every time, you back out, lose your nerve.

You wonder if maybe it’s best to leave well enough alone. Is there any point in digging up the grave another time?

At the last tour date offering a meet-and-greet opportunity, you swallow your fear—and your pride. If you don’t do it now, you never will. You saw him once, though barely. You heard his voice, and it broke something inside you. For so long, you feared never hearing it again, and now, all you want is to hear it again, to see him again. Even if it’s just for one last time, for one real goodbye.

Your hands are sweaty as you wait. He’s thanked hundreds of people before you—each calling him their favorite, each naming their favorite songs or quoting their favorite lyrics. The rest of the band mostly go unnoticed, or are appreciated by only a few. That makes your heart ache, especially for Nicholas, who you always knew to be one of Noah’s biggest inspirations—his steady, guiding hand.

Each time you dare to glance at Noah, you catch pieces of the performer’s facade—the bright smile that feels just a little too forced to be real. You remember his real smile all too well. Even his laugh sounds animated now.

It feels like watching an animal in a zoo—a monkey trained to perform. Keep the line moving. Keep everyone happy. There’s a flicker of guilt, because maybe you’re part of the circus now, too, but your intentions aren’t ill-meant.

You’re getting closer now. You start counting down the people ahead of you.

10.

You’re rehearsing what you’ll say. Every scenario you’ve ever imagined is playing in your head like a movie reel—a script you’ve prepared.

7.

But what words could ever cover the span of a decade?

3.

You wonder if it’s too late to back out—if you could slip away unnoticed.

You pass the Nicks first, unsure if either of them really registers you, but you’re too caught up in your thoughts to notice the way Nicholas elbows Folio with a subtle nod in your direction.

Before you can process it, Noah is sitting in front of you. Your mouth goes dry. You choke on the words. An apology? A hello?

You’re prompted to speak by a young man about their age, wearing a cap and a Lord of the Rings T-shirt, keeping the line moving at a steady pace—the same line you’re now holding up.

Noah hasn’t looked up yet, as if waiting for you to say your name so he can sign, the same way he has with everyone else before you. You wonder if he knows. If he can sense it’s you standing there, and when you finally find your voice, you say the only thing you can think to say—your name.

The moment it reaches him, his head lifts in recognition. His eyes widen, as if the sight of you is deceiving, and suddenly, your pounding heart is in your throat—overwhelmed with a mixture of joy, anticipation, and the distinct urge to throw up.

The only thing Noah says in return is your name—so soft it’s barely a whisper. As if saying it aloud might wake him from a dream. As if, by naming you, he might lose you all over again.

tagged: @fadingangelwisp @deathblacksmoke  @geminigirlfromfinland @fuck1ng-queen @xxkittenkissesxx @lacy1986 @ami--gami @floodflameschosen @dominuslunae @tosoundlessdarkistare @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @lonelydragonlady @th4t-em0-k1d @amelia-acero @dollieomens  @sitkowski @athenexe @trvshdxddy @collapsedglasshouses @overmydeadbodysblog @xmads-omensx @ajordan2020 @astronoids @courta13 @oobleoob @bluehairpunklol @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @swissy23 @i-love-the-smell-of-your-blood @kenjipepsi1 @birdie-in-arcadia @blackcherrywhiskey @concretenoah @death-ofpeace-ofmind @ichoosetenderomens @chey-h @blade-dressed-in-red @limerinseme @lilgarbitch @pipidoll @heyyoplayer @iconic-taurus @flowery-mess @jesuisunchaton @bloody-spades @bluestdai

x

Summary: While hanging out with you and your boyfriend, Jolly, Noah couldn’t resist the urge to keep his hands to himself.

CW: includes fingering (f receiver), kinda dubcon(?), cheating.

Smut below the cut 🔞 Minors DNI.

It’s not usual for Noah to join you and your boyfriend, Jolly, when you’re both hanging out together. What is unusual, though, is the way he’s tucked himself beneath the covers with you, moving in close enough to rest his chin against your shoulder as you lie on your back. You don’t move the moment he settles in—afraid it might scare him off. It’s like being chosen by a cat, one usually too aloof for affection or human contact. You’ve been chosen, and you’re not about to ruin it.

Jolly sits with his back to you, completely absorbed in his video game. Every so often, Noah chimes in with a comment or suggestion. You’re not really interested in the game itself, but watching him—hearing his voice—has always been calming.

Then, beneath the covers, you feel Noah’s hand start to move. At first, it trails along your thigh, and you freeze, expecting him to pull away or even apologize. Instead, he keeps speaking to Jolly, completely ignoring you even as you glance at him—his hand steadily inching higher. Then it slips between your thighs, rubbing against the front of your jeans.

You should be pushing him away, should be telling him to stop, and yet all you can think is how much you regret wearing jeans today. There’s barely any friction where you want it most.

Somehow, Noah’s voice stays cool and smooth while your lips press together, your eyes fluttering shut as you remind yourself to focus, to breathe.

When his fingers retreat, it isn’t to stop, it’s to undo the button of your jeans, sliding the zipper down just enough before slipping his hand inside. Still, he doesn’t say a word, doesn’t even look at you. Then his hand dips into your underwear, a long, slender finger stroking along your slit, teasing between your folds before pressing to your clit—rubbing slow, deliberate circles.

“You have to be careful with that part, Jolls. Take it slower… yeah, just like that,” Noah says aloud, directing Jolly, but in your mind, you’re screaming, because his words mirror his actions exactly.

Your eyes roll back, your teeth sink into your lower lip, and you force yourself to stay still. You don’t dare roll your hips, fearing any movement will give you away. Turning your head slightly, you press it half into the pillow and half against Noah’s. His head tilts just enough for him to catch your jaw between his teeth, a soft bite of acknowledgment, before another finger joins the first. Now two fingers circle your clit, steady and purposeful, building the pressure in your belly with every motion.

You reach for your phone, resting beside you on the bed, pulling up the notes app. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Noah watching. You pause, type, delete, then type again, before deleting it all, and shaking your head. What could you possibly say? That nothing has ever felt this good before?

Because honestly, the moment he sinks his fingers into your soaked cunt, that’s only the truth.

It takes everything in you not to make a sound. You arch your hips slightly, but the tightness of your jeans makes it hard to spread your thighs, turning the sensation sharper, more intense. His fingers feel impossibly deep, and yet he adjusts his angle, somehow fitting just right. His thumb finds your clit while his fingers stroke along your velvet walls, coaxing you to move with him, subtly rocking into the slow-building pleasure.

In your mind, you’re panicking, sure you’re taking too long, sure Jolly could turn around at any second and see how close Noah is, but the covers pulled up over you both, should hide most of what’s happening beneath.

Any worry fades the moment your climax begins to crest—a slow, pulsing release. Nothing explosive, given your position, but enough for pleasure to ripple through you, and yet, even as you start to come down, Noah doesn’t stop. He continues playing with your clit, feeling the rush of wetness that follows, then presses his fingers deeper, angling them to find that spongy, velvet-soft spot inside you.

Your body trembles with the aftershocks of your slow, quiet orgasm. You want to moan, want to whimper, but you bite back even the smallest sound, because Jolly, completely oblivious, is still too caught up in his game.

tagged: @fadingangelwisp @deathblacksmoke  @geminigirlfromfinland @fuck1ng-queen @xxkittenkissesxx @lacy1986 @ami--gami @floodflameschosen @dominuslunae @tosoundlessdarkistare @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @lonelydragonlady @th4t-em0-k1d @amelia-acero @dollieomens  @sitkowski @athenexe @trvshdxddy @collapsedglasshouses @overmydeadbodysblog @xmads-omensx @ajordan2020 @astronoids @courta13 @oobleoob @bluehairpunklol @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @swissy23 @i-love-the-smell-of-your-blood @kenjipepsi1 @birdie-in-arcadia @concretenoah @death-ofpeace-ofmind @ichoosetenderomens @chey-h @blade-dressed-in-red @limerinseme @lilgarbitch @pipidoll @heyyoplayer @iconic-taurus @flowery-mess @jesuisunchaton @bloody-spades

nick folio tonight @ rockville

im losing my mind COMPLETELY

sub!noah 🥺

Did you hear me screaming??? I can’t decide if this is your way of subtly asking him, or his way of subtly asking you, because he wanted to put his collar on for you as a little ‘surprise’, and now he’s kneeling down before you, a soft needy look in his eyes and you’re looking down at this ring, realising it holds a double meaning, another promise of belonging to one another—the collar being your first 🥹

ace!noah thoughts,

I think a lot about ace!noah and his transfem roommate (hunter schafer, my bb) and how talking with her helps him understand his own feelings—about himself, other people, sexuality. I just picture them listening to Good Luck, Babe!, singing and dancing to it together, her jumping on the bed above him while he’s laid out, laughing up at her, and then just cuddling after 🥺

Also, this version of Noah really prefers online relationships, less pressure, more space to feel safe. He’s kissed her, and he’s also kissed Nick, the two people he feels most comfortable with, the ones he shares the deepest connection to, but that’s also how he realised he’s less interested in physical intimacy with a person.

x

nick ruffilo tonight @ rockville

it’s finally pride month and something gay better happen to me or ill pass away