You Are Trapped In An Elevator With The Person On Your Lockscreen. Who Is It?

I just went to what might be the nicest petco I’ve ever been to (super nice enclosures, very active and healthy animals) and met this starfish. This isn’t sped up. He was actually going this fast.

Me duele la cabeza

WAS TALKING IN DMS WITH SOMEONE WHAT IS THAT EMOJI WHERE ARE IT'S EYES

guys

if i ever see any of you in public, the code is “i like your shoelaces”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

We took ~4500 cells from every person on earth and reassembled them into a single additional person. They are both child and clone to everyone alive. They speak an amalgam of every language but no single one fluently. They are the only true human, the long absent god of this world, and they are suing us for fifteen million dollars.