Latest Posts by tsippi - Page 16

Wildlife session 7 out of context

if my extended family says anything cringe to me over thanksgiving dinner then i'm going to explain neopronouns to my eight year old cousin

when I was a kid I thought the weather guy on TV controlled the weather and he was just telling us what he was gonna do for the next few days. when he said "30% chance of rain Thursday" I thought he was just guessing how likely it was he'd wake up in a rain mood that morning

There is a weight to Skizz that Grian simply doesn't have.

The first time they fly together- he and Skizz, showing the new guy the skies above their ever-changing homeland- Grian can feel it. It's not just in the wings- he'd known well enough to expect the three sets, getting consecutively smaller down Skizz's back. From one angle they're just as white as any other angel Grian has met in the multiverse.

Yet they don't stay that way.

As light and shadow play across Skizz's wings they flash in colors Grian isn't sure even Scar could name, there and gone in less than a breath. It's a display, then it's camouflage, then it's just white feathers.

Then there's the sensation.

It's like- the air itself becomes solid around Skizz, a piece of armor. He doesn't let the wind carry him, rather he drags the wind, creating an updraft that Grian is more than happy to bounce around on with outraged laughter as the angel cackles below him, doing loops to send his smaller companion higher.

When their flight concludes Grian lands gently, with hardly a breath.

Skizz lands like he is the last locking piece the earth was forgetting, and when his feet touch the rock there's the barest little tremor as if something immense has come to rest.

-

Grian knows, of course, they all KNOW. Tango had been in those ancient wars, as well, and Etho and Doc- well.

Yet with Skizz it's- hard to remember, in a way it isn't hard to remember with Doc or Tango or even Impulse, cheerful as he is. Occasionally, there's a slip. A Moment. A flash in his eyes that's a bit too red, a word that comes out a touch too rough, a swing of a sword that bites through a post instead of just into it.

Skizz- he doesn't have those reminders. It sometimes surprises whoever might be around when the wings appear, normally just the two great primaries, far larger in span than Grian's and more flexible besides (since he's not, as Grian had taken pains to point out, ACTUALLY an avian, so it's not like his wings need to function scientifically; they're more there because angels fly and angels fly because they have wings, done and dusted.)

There's always a moment. Oh, that's right. Skizz has wings. Skizz is an angel. Skizz once powered the God Beacons in the early server wars, a living battery that kept the Holy on their crusade until the first great Crashes brought about the Dark.

Skizz is older than their server, than redstone, than time.

Skizz knows Impulse's full, true name, and Impulse has seen Skizz with all of his Eyes open.

Oh, that's right.

Skizz is something more.

-

Skizz doesn't make it hard to remember on purpose, any more than Impulse or Tango or Doc make it easy to remember on purpose. He just is what he is- goofy, excitable, ready to lend a hand or a suggestion or just be there as a silent warmth on which you can lean and cry.

That's why it's so jarring when the zombie horde happens.

It's a combination of things- the day has just wound down to night, Scar and Grian are near a village, everyone else has gone to bed and Scar just needs one more poppy for the red dye for his new tents. Easy.

Until there's fifteen zombies pouring out of the spaces between the houses, groaning and reaching, mouths open and eyes- where applicable- vacant.

It's a run and gun scenario if Grian ever saw one and that's what he's doing, half-hauling Scar along, his larger companion firing with that frighteningly accurate bow even as he's yelping in alarm.

Still there's too many, and their respawns are so far, and damn it one stupid poppy-

There's a sound that's an absence of sound.

Grian will realize later that it was a concentrated sonic boom, the sound barrier shattering and then coming together again in a single moment as a whitehot streak comes down from the sky.

This time Skizz does not land like a locking piece of earth.

This time Skizz lands like the end of all things, like the cold iron of space that fills the void between stars, like an angel who was once so feared that his name became a prayer and a curse and a plea until he couldn't bear the sound of it and begged his only friend to give him another.

The zombie he landed on is less than ash.

The three who had been closest are bisected laterally, their top halves burning into nothing and their bottom halves becoming moist slag on the ground.

Scar has already covered his eyes but Grian can see the halo, a writhing spike of golden fire that screams as it circles Skizz's head, its points blurred to a single singing line daring anything to come within reach.

Oh, Grian thinks to himself, not all of the scars are scars.

Some of them are Eyes.

Then he closes his own eyes, behind which he sees nothing but spots as he hears the sound of zombies dying a second time, though presumably it is their first death by holy fire.

-

"So that was. Overkill."

"You think?" Scar wheezes. Skizz laughs awkwardly as he helps the other man up, offering a regen potion. "Sorry, buddy. I was coming back from the mangrove farm and I looked down and- well. Some habits die hard."

Grian could say something. Could gently goad Skizz into talking more, do that thing he is so very good at doing.

Only Grian, despite what some might say, does know when to let the sleeping dog lie. So he only says, "How did you not break your face?" and laugh at the appropriate time when Skizz says with that lopsided grin, his eyes still shining a little too brightly, "Practice, G. Practice!"

-

No one on the Hermitcraft server is a clueless innocent. There are skeletons in every closet and that's part and parcel of belonging- there is no perfection here.

Like Cleo's state of perpetual paused decay, like Gem's refusal to be far from water long, like Doc's long hours and Etho's red stained fingers, Mumbo's sudden quick jerks towards a voice only he can hear and Cub's careful symmetry, they are all of them followed by stories and ghosts.

If Skizz's ghosts howl like lost souls, well.

Grian figures his friend has come to the right place, like Impulse all those years ago.

There's plenty of sky for them and their demons- the kind that don't wait for them patiently to roost.

Zedaphstropod was not an unwelcome guest at Zed's base by any means. The little guy had proven incredibly helpful for redstone, company, but mostly science experiments.

'Alright, friend,' Zedaph called from the end of the maze he was sending his snail through. 'You are to start your journey in three... Two... Oh my goodness you're an excited little snail!' Zedaph laughed as Zedaphstropod started heading through the maze, happily cutting around corners to reach Zed. And, by all accounts, taking the intended route.

Until, with an excited whoop, Zedaphstropod burst through the glass ceiling and into Zedaph's face.

Zedaph was slain by Zedaphstropod.

'xB! xB! Sweetface come quick I have a snail!' Keralis exclaimed as xB landed in his base. He grabbed his friend's hand, pulling him along. With a giggle, xB followed.

'A snail? What kind of snail?'

'A Papa K snail! With a huge shocked face and big, beautiful eyes! You need to see him!'

The two continued through Keralis's palm tree forest, all the way to the yacht. Where a certain shocked snail was creeping towards them.

'See? My snail! Look into his eyes and tell me he's not the most adorable snail in Hermitcraft!' Keralis crouched down to the snail's height, waving him over. 'Papa Snail! Papa Snail! Come to Keralis!' The snail obeyed. 'Look, xB! He loves me! He wants to be with his favourite Papa K and no, Papa Snail! Not in the water! You have so much to live for!' Keralis coughed, choking as his poor, poor snail drowned. xB dove into the water, trying to grab it and bring him to safety.

Keralis drowned

'Keralis?!' xB swam up to the surface, tail keeping him afloat as he looked out at where his friend now definitely wasn't. 'Did the snail kill you? Did you drown with him?'

'RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!' Startled by Hypno's yell, xB yelped, turning to see him already far in the distance. But a black shelled snail with fluffy blond hair and a black bandanna was zooming along the shore in his place. xB only giggled more, realising.

xBcrafted: anyone seen my snail anywhere?

xBcrafted: XD

Falsesymmetry: I'm too focused on FalseSlimetry rn!

iJevin: omg my snail's so cute I might DIE

iJevin was slain by SlimeJevin

Tango: could see that coming from a MILE away!

cubfan135: haha me and Scar keeping an eye on snailfan135

DocM77: TF IS THIS THERE'S SLIME ALL OVER MY REDSTONE!!!!

DocM77: WHY IS THERE A SNAIL DOC??

DocM77: IM THE GOAT NOT THE SNAIL

DocM77: WHY HE SO CUTE????

Stressmonster101: OH MY GAWD MY SNAIL'S SO CUUUUTE

Stressmonster101: AAAH AND ISKALL GOT A LITTLE GEEZER WITH A BEARD!

Joehillssays: you're not feeling like you wanna Slime, Nourish, Ambulate, Invertebrate, Live today, Doc?

xBcrafted was slain by xBslimed

Grian: Having fun? :)

GoodTimeWithScar: NO

GoodTimeWithScar: BAD SNAIL

Grian: no eSCARgo here, it's just for the hermits who missed out last time

cubfan135 hit the ground too hard

cubfan135: tip: do not fall off balcony when avoiding snail

GoodTimeWithScar: LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO CUB!

Tango: True… debalconyification is no laughing matter...

Pearlescentmoon: do the hermits have a certain number of lives?

Grian: no, just snails

DocM77 was slain by DocMollusk77

DocM77: WHY

DocM77: WHY IS THERE A BLUE FABRIC SNAIL????

DocM77: WITH PIPECLEAVER GOOGLY EYES

DocM77: WIAT JOE I FOUND YOUR SNAIL

ZombieCleo: Of course Joe got a Muppet snail XD

DocM77: JOE SNAIL JSUF ATE MY DJAMKND ORE!!!!!!

cubfan135: SNAILS ARE ORESNATCHERS CONFIRMED

Xisuma was slain by Xislima

Xisuma: don't try and hug your snail :-(

Stressmonster101: NOOOO

DocM77: WY CANT I HURT IT???

DocM77: ITS BORKEN NO DAMAGE

Mumbo: it's not supposed to

Tango: they're evil like that

Tango: hook you in with the cuteification

Tango: then murder your face

xBcrafted: not immortal! Watched Keralis's snail drown

impulseSV: snails will do that.

impulseSV: oh, watch out for the propeller its adorabel

GeminiTay: all you need to do is keep your snail in sight! It's simple!

Skizzleman: SHUT UP GEM

GoodTimeWithScar: YEAH SHUT UP GEM

cubfan135 was slain by snailfan135

GoodTimeWithScar: CUB

cubfan135: I hate snails

DocM77: YES PLEASE DO

GoodTimeWithScar: BURN THE SNAILSSSSS

Skizzleman: BUEN THE SNAILS BURN THE SNAILS

Joehillssays: JOESNAILS HAS REACHED HOLMDELL. I REPEAT: JOESNAILS HAS REACHED HOLMDELL

Joehillssays was slain by Joesnailssays

Pearlescentmoon: AAAWWWW DOC YOUR SNAIL IS SO CUTE!

DocM77: HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT

Welsknight: Just finished the Snail Obstacle Course!

Joehillssays: why congratulations!

Joehillssays: what was it like competing in a mollusk-dominated sport as a human?

Welsknight: *making the Snail Obstacle Course XD

Welsknight was slain by Shellsknight

FalseSymmetry: rip

Joehillssays: Guess Shellsknight didn’t like the idea of being forced through a small maze or series of challenges with no meaningful reward, as though they were little more than a toy or an inanimate science experiment for us easily entertained by

cubfan135: #snailgate

Welsknight: no tripped over snail

Vintagebeef: just lost an argument with my snail. TCG is getting a snail special edition

Vintagebeef was slain by Vintagesnail

Joehillssays: A continuation of our attempted dominance over the gastropods who indeed bear resemblance to oursleves and have skme level of mubuman ibtelligen

Joehillssays was slain by Joesnailssays

ZombieCleo: ah yes, mubuman ibtelligen

Joehillssays: SNAIL WAS COMING HAD TO TYPE FAST

Joehillssays was slain by Joesnailssays

Smallishbeans: snail viewing platform in shopping district. Looks like snail. For non-snail-owning players only

cubfan135: how dare you

cubfan135: #snail gatekeeping

Xisuma: all hermits with snails meet in shopping district for a meeting

Smallishbeans: all hermits without snails meet in Snailbase to watch them running around panicking

Joehillssays: based on how long it took Joesnails to reach me before, I think I'm safe there

Joehillssays was slain by Joesnailssays

Tango: you are never safe

Hypnonizd: snails will appear when you least expect them

Hypnotizd was slain by Hypnoslimd

Xisuma: SHOPPING DISTRICT

Xisuma was slain by Xislima

Xisuma was slain by Xislima

Hypnotizd: RUN AWAY

Xisuma was slain by Xislima

cubfan135 was slain by snailfan135

GoodTimeWithScar blew up

cubfan135: don’t put TNT on snails

cubfan135: they dont like that

Welsknight: Shellsknight has completed the obstacle course in record time!

iJevin: isn't he the only snail who’s attempted it?

Welsknight: doesnt mean its not a record

iJevin: i mean fair

iJevin: how do I test SlimeJevin with this?

Etho: RAVAGER RUSH HAS SNAIL UPGRADES! HIGHEST SCORE WITH A SNAIL WINS A SNAIL TROPHY

iJevin: NEVEER MIMD WE HAVE FRIGGER

cubfan135: I AM ON MY WAY

iJevin: NO ME

Xisuma was slain by Xislima

Renthedog: SEND NE ALL THE SNAIL PICS!

Renthedog: (for Martyn entertainment purposes)

Bdoubleo100: just saw Doc runnjng theough mu forest screaming about snails???

Vintagebeef: dont worry about it, he does rhat somerimes.

Bdoubleo100: WIATTHE SNAILS ARE BACK????

ZombieCleo: only non-lifersZombieCleo: which means we get to watch them dying over and over and running and screaming

ZombieCleo: which is brilliant

Xisuma: PLZ COME TO SHOPING DISTRICT ONMY ME AND HYPNO ARE THERE RN

Xisuma: AND GRIAN, EXPLAIN WHAT RHESE SNAILS ARE ANS WHEN RHEY LEAVE?

Grian: well that’s rather simple

Grian: 1: they’re immortal snails that chase you until they boop you and you die

Grian: 2: whenever I feel like it…

Grian: :)

They're all little creatures possessing a human body .....

Grian calls his watcher self his "last remaining braincell"

I love the idea of the hybrid glitching trope in fics so much. Like the fandom has just determined that some hermits are part animal or mob or other and that sometimes they don’t get to choose how big that part is because of a glitch?

Cleo, Doc, Tango, Cub, and Jevin becoming hostile? Incredible angst potential but also humor because imagine you’re chilling with your buddy Cleo and she just starts burning in the sun and trying to eat you randomly, or Jevin keeps trying to jump into glass walls, or Tango keeps shooting fireballs at you, or Doc won’t stop hissing when you get too close and is suddenly terrified of cats. Cub is actually being relatively tame… as long as you stay away from any skulk sensors or shriekers so you don’t summon him.

For the more “animal” oriented hybrids, it’s more about wrangling than anything. Ren has gone full wolf and someone has to stop him from trying to chase down and kill Gem, Etho, and Zedaph, who will not stop running, because wolves kill foxes and sheep. No one can get False and Grian out of the sky (which is a problem because, evidently, a falcon can and will try to kill a parrot), XB disappeared into the ocean somewhere, and Scar, Beef, and Joel are… being relatively chill. Turns out a cat, a bull, and a raccoon are actually pretty easy to deal with comparatively.

As for the more esoteric or out there hermit hybrids, things are even weirder. Skizz wants to track down Impulse but Impulse won’t leave the nether and Skizz can’t enter it right now. Pearl is shapeshifter, so she’s just resigning herself to uncontrollable shifts and trying not to break anything when she randomly sprouts horns or wings or a tail. Juppet’s “handler” is gone so he’s fully just out of commission, and had to be placed in his little one by one base for the time being because he can no longer move. X looks fine outwardly, but he’s actually struggling to not fully turn into void mist inside his suit.

And for the hermits who I don’t headcanon as hybrids (Bdubs, Keralis, Hypno, Wels, and Mumbo) they’re just trying to keep things in line but maybe not doing a great job given just how quickly the situation would probably devolve, especially as X is trying to fix server issues (being the only admin who’s currently… reachable) while also trying to remain corporeal.

I love that LDShadowLady is good at Minecraft but at the same time so bad at it. She built an empire on the ocean but she uses stone tools because she doesn't want to go mining for resources. She has a diamond mending pickaxe but she can't mend it because she has no XP. She wins a battle to collect the most mob heads but when she sees people attacking her base she stops running away to say 'hi guys' and gets slaughtered. She's a professional scam artist but the things she scams people with turn out to be really useful to them so it's not actually a scam. She does a trade with a god's champion for an incredibly important artifact and then eats it on the spot. She got 4 lives on Last Life, bumped it up to 6 and died before her husband who had about 1 for like the entire series. She produces an entire musical. She has a 3/4 death chance on Minecraft Storymode. I love her.

The BAMboozlers might be my favorite team this season, maybe in the entire life series tbh depending on how they end, and I think the main reason for it is how ride or die they all are with each other.

Jimmy wants to be BAM themed, Scar and Lizzie embrace it. Soon enough they're all enthusiastically saying BAM to each other when they start the session.

Scar suggests the BAMbunker offhandedly, Jimmy builds it a few sessions later.

Jimmy needs a kill, Lizzie builds a creeper spawner to get him TNT and eggs, risks her life to get him suspicious stew to keep him alive, and uses herself as bait against her own husband for his sake.

Scar trades a mace for friendship with the Spanners, asks about Grian's grudge against Jimmy, and offers the mace back so that they can all be friends.

When the Quizbot shows up, Lizzie dedicates herself to building an ender pearl stasis chamber so they can all summon each other and help on questions.

Jimmy accidentally hits Lizzie, leading to her death, and feels awful. She lets it go instantly in favor of protecting the both of them from the Warden.

Lizzie and Jimmy go red, Scar offers to go red himself without hesitation so that they can go on murder sprees together.

They all use the BAM HQ together routinely, calling meetings when anything massive changes to keep each other informed, and lean into their theming more than any other group has this season with their matching skins and rollercoasters.

They're also together all the time and constantly trust and build each other up, which is honestly refreshing to see with how toxic and faithless most if not all of the other groups have been to each other.

So, something I learnt the other day. So, you know how dinosaurs supposedly can't see you if you stand still? Well that myth is based on real-life lizards/etc and how eyes in general work. So, once my dad starts infodumping, here comes some other cool information. We, humans, can in fact, also not see something unless it's moving. We fixed this by having our eyes constantly shake. And then our brain compensates for us, so we don't have to have shaky vision.

What if aliens don't have this? Like. What if they find out when one of us was looking at something in the distance, and they walk around this thing that's in front of them, and the alien is confused so they bob their head and oh, there's a thing there, but how did the human know that, and then we explain and they're like, horrified.

Humans are apex predators. They can hunt in packs. They can hunt in pairs. They can hunt on their own. They're persistance predators, which is unheard of. They get stronger when they're mad or scared. They have this thing called 'body language' which acts like a type of hivemind, even if they'll claim it isn't. And. They can see you. When you're not moving. They can still see you. If you ever find yourself in a fight against a human, for whatever reason? Run. Run as fast as you can. And hope, pray if you have a religion, that they won't follow.

Omg I didn’t realise this but OHMYGOD THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

you know what i love about this 3 idiots?

that no matter what u ship one of them is always the adopted son.

you ship kubosai? kaido is the shy-weird but with overprotective parents kid

ship saikai? aren is the problematic kid that got the killer instinct for saiki but the sweetness for kaido

ship kubokai? saiki is the quiet and "shy" boy that is obligated to be wherever his parents are