Want To Learn Something New In 2022??

things from my road-trip through the midwest that just (don’t) make sense

within the frigid apathy of minnesota, a gas station parking lot, lined with rusty pumps and cars with windshields freckled by the greasy stains of splattered bugs. the cashier inside refused to meet your eyes, only looking up from the counter to glance at the empty space behind you. his hands shook. you asked if he was okay, but he only flinched. when he handed you your receipt, the print was blocked by thick, black sharpie. ‘WATCH YOUR BACK.’

amidst the forgotten cornfields of iowa, an old boat discarded in a garden, the cold steel overrun with weeds and wildflowers and other rooted, unwanted things. there was no water nearby, but you could’ve sworn it was swaying on gentle waves. if you were to roll down your window, you would have heard the sharp whirr of a fishing reel and the voice of your long-dead grandfather– foggy, distanced, and stuck between somewhere and nowhere. 

in a ghost town waiting to happen, crumbling apartment buildings, sagging against concrete stairs and fire escapes. their shadows shifted and spilled into each other out of the corner of your eye, piling and folding and swelling on the cobblestone until the darkness had a depth that took up physical space in the alleyways. with time, those bundles of black shade would grow difficult to differentiate from the dull husks of the residents.

in the vast nothing of wisconsin, decrepit barns collapsed at the spine, dotting the side of the highway like corpses. as you drove by them, you could’ve sworn the a/c began to smell like spoiled meat. you flipped on the recirculation and continued on, trying in vain to ignore the swarms of black flies eating away at the wood.

among the sunken eyes of illinois, an overcrowded intersection, cars upon cars piled on top of one another at high noon. the midday sun bore down on you all, heating the field of metal until your fans were useless against the stifling heat. somewhere in the fever, you were reminded of ants under a magnifying glass, the way their legs would spark and smoke and splinter. you blinked, then opened your eyes to empty streets and a black sky. not that it shocked you. time never seemed to tick right in illinois. you kept driving.

in the heart of chicago, sloppy red graffiti under a bridge reading ‘punish the evil.’ you wished you could agree, but as you mulled over your own wrongdoings, your knuckles went white. you thought about things shameful enough to be left out confessional, ugly enough to let rot in the deep caverns of your ribcage. were you evil? did you deserve to be punished?

in the dry monotony of indiana, long stretches of prairie flattened into the dirt as if someone suffocated the land under their boot, the hills like deflated lungs. the longer you drove, the more the rushing wind sounded like wheezing.

on the horizon, a fiery explosion that only you saw, the sound inaudible over the race of cars on the highway. the smoke thinned in the breeze so rapidly your first thought was not ‘what happened?’, it was ‘did that happen at all?’ you stared mindlessly at the blank space where screams should’ve been, frozen. yet, the radio continued to blare, your mother continued her phone call, and the corn stalks continued to sway. the world sped by in your periphery and you just sat there, silent, cradling a secret known solely by you and the horizon, teetering on the divide between imagination and reality.

under the damp mold of michigan, a stray shopping cart blocking your way on a backroad, thoroughly abandoned in a puddle. it was completely empty but appeared heavier than it should have, its wheels sinking into the graveled earth beneath. it took all your weight to leverage the rusting frame into a ditch. the crash was deafening. 

in the dead plains of ohio, two barns with the words ‘PRAISE GOD. LOVE JESUS.’ scarring their faces. they felt like eyes. you hadn’t seen another building for miles, and you wouldn’t see any others for miles more, but that building saw you. 

amidst the blurry familiarity of lake erie, the horrible irony of a highway cross adorned with rotten forget-me-nots. you realized you die twice, and the second death always hurts worse than the first. you grieved at the steering wheel for a woman you’ve never met, then forgot about her an hour down the road. 

at a stoplight in pennsylvania, an eagle digging into a deer carcass. the smell lingered, sticking to your chest and to your hair and to your hands before you managed to roll up the window. the doe’s eyes melted into you, its jaw twitching as a strange bleating noise poured from your radio. ‘what if i were you and you were me?’ it asked. ‘would you be content with this end? have you led a fulfilling life?’ you fled without waiting for the light to turn green.

when i say “that reminds me” & theres zero connection you just have to take my word for it theres no time to explain

Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened every day and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breath in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.

Tetractys.

The Tetractys (also known as the Decad) is an equilateral Triangle formed from the sequence of the first ten numbers aligned in four rows. It is both a Mathematical idea and a Metaphysical Symbol that embraces within itself - in Seedlike form - the Principles of the Natural World, the Harmony of the Cosmos, the Ascent to the Divine, and the Mysteries of the Divine Realm. So revered was this Ancient Symbol that it inspired Ancient Philosophers to swear by the name of the one who brought this gift to Humanity - Pythagoras.

what I really like about all these vintage couple’s portraits is that there is a very certain romatic decorum kept up – certain themes and poses – which, while of course being the mainstream preferred view of couples repeated throughout many studios, are just… so nice to look at. 

this staged affection, a mix of theatricality and intimacy, the couple holding still for a couple of moments and now immortalised in a very set sequence of embraces and kisses. there is a charm to it even when I can’t tell whether this was a genuine couple portait or just actors hired by the photographer.

the kiss on the bare shoulder (eyes perfectly averted), the cheek caress, the piano and the violin, the interrupted embrace, the woman tilted back as in a half-stopped dance…

Scavengers Reign (2023)

you know how most of the things humans use as spices are poisonous or repellent to most other mammals? and you know how anything vaguely d&d inspired has dwarves being way more poison resistant than even humans?

dwarf cuisine shouldn’t be bland, it should be unimaginably spicy and potentially harmful or fatal to humans. like green potato and rhubarb leaf salad with a festive garnish of yew berries and deadly nightshade berries, that kind of thing.

Ottoman yataghan from the Court of Suleyman the Magnificent, 16th c, workshop of Ahmed Tekelü (possibly Iranian, active Istanbul, ca. 1520–30), steel, walrus ivory, gold, silver, rubies, turquoise, pearls, gold incrustation on the blade depicts combat between a dragon and a phoenix, gold-inlaid cloud bands the ivory grips.

thanks for letting me talk about a piece of media i love with you and responding in earnest interest with the intent of checking it out for yourself because of my recommendation. also how do you feel about being kissed directly on the mouth

anyway. onto better things