Its Been Officially One Year Since I Rolled Enkidu!!!

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME YOU'VE WATCHED THIS CARTOON TOO, IT'S MY PRIMARY SOURCE OF SEROTONIN

wELL I HAD TO DO A PART 2

Part 1

ughhhh an Avenger class is a class of their own where not many humans- barely anyone would be able to handle them as they are impossible and incompatible with pan human history and so are one of the hardest to handle. to even be able to summon an Extra class outside of the seven accepted seats is a feat on its own but to form a bond and a strong one at that is a different thing entirely. to gain comforting words from Avengers that eternally burn with vengeance and hatred, to gain companionship and trust from Avengers mercilessly crushed and betrayed by the world, deemed as threats for their retaliation, hunted down as beasts and chased out of their homes with their loved ones killed, those who have also died alone, suffering from such a painful betrayal even when they themselves were faithfull all the way to the end. to gain an Avenger's love and loyalty, weapons that howl and cry and knows unfathomable pain and sorrow, a Class that never forgets, grudges and hatred in which are ingrained into their very existence yet love and compassion is what allows them to persist and keep on burning. as summoning such flames means you yourself are far more removed from "humanity" than anyone else.

can we take a moment to just think about how incredibly scary magical healing is in-context?

You get your insides ripped open but your friend waves his hands and your flesh just pulls back together, agony and evisceration pulling back to a ‘kinda hurts’ level of pain and you’re physically whole, with the 100% expectation that you’ll get back up and keep fighting whatever it was that struck you down the first time.

You break your arm after falling somewhere and after you’re healed instead of looking for ‘another way around’ everybody just looks at you and goes “okay try again”.

You’ve been fighting for hours, you’re hungry, thirsty, bleeding, crying from exhaustion, and a hand-wave happens and only two of those things go away. you’re still hungry, you’re still weak from thirst, but the handwave means you have ‘no excuse’ to stop.

You act out aggressively maybe punch a wall or gnash your teeth or hit your head on something and it’s hand-waved because it’s ‘such a small injury you probably can’t even feel it anymore’ but the point was that you felt it at all?

Your pain literally means nothing because as long as you’re not bleeding you’re not injured, right? Here drink this potion and who cares about the emotional exhaustion of that butchered village, why are you so reserved in camp don’t you think it’s fun retelling that time you fell through a burning building and with a hand-wave you got back up again and ran out with those two kids and their dog? 

Older warriors who get a shiver around magic-users not because of the whole ‘fireball’ thing but the ‘I don’t know what a normal pain tolerance is anymore’ effect of too much healing. Permanent paralysis and loss of sensation in limbs is pretty much a given in the later years of any fighter’s life. Did I have a stroke or did the mage just heal too hard and now this side of my face doesn’t work? No i’m not dead from the dragon’s claws but I can’t even bend my torso anymore because of how the scar tissue grew out of me like a vine.

Magical healing is great and keeps casualties down.

But man.

That stuff is scary.

I’ve always struggled with social anxiety and self-confidence in different areas. It waxes and wanes in amplitude, but it’s always there. This affects my ability to do research as I struggle to do things like use the phone, send emails asking people to do things in a timely fashion, and finish work due to perfectionism.  It was really bad a couple of years ago, during my PhD. We had official annual meetings with a member of staff to check on progress back then, which were a good idea but terrified the students. I always had mine with a member of faculty a lot of people are scared of. I’m not sure why, maybe because their courses were very difficult and they was a strict marker? I’d heard they’d mellowed over the years so maybe, like a fear of the dark, students’ wariness passed down the generations.  Whatever the reason, I’d never been scared of them, and always saw them as a fair mind when it came to assessing my progress. I wouldn’t believe myself or my friends mostly, but I’d trust them to tell the truth. On my last meeting they knew I wasn’t very well. I always cried in these meetings through stress/lifting of stress, so true to form the box of tissues were ready and they offered me a fruit tea. I had the summer fruits. It was really sweet and calming, and I didn’t need the tissues that year. We spoke at length about why I was struggling within myself when my work seemed perfectly fine, even really good in places. And we got talking about anxiety when not at work. Turns out both of us have similar social anxiety problems! We both struggle to go in a shop with no or few other customers, because we hate being watched by staff. It’s really specific but I bet it’s common haha. We both hate using the phone, even ordering take away is difficult! Maybe this is why I wasn’t scared of them?  At any rate, it was great to know I wasn’t alone, here was a full professor with the same problems I have, still doing science! But, I asked, how do you do it? How did you get this high up the ladder and not quit, or not take it out on yourself? How are you not anxious all the time? Oh, I am anxious, they said. I was really bad for years. Wouldn’t use the phone at all. But then I was made Head of Department.  That’s terrifying! What did you do? Well I was still anxious, about using the phone for example. But I realised, the Head of Department uses the phone to call people to get things sorted quickly. And at the moment, I’m Head of Department. That’s the hat I’m wearing. The Head of Department picks up the phone and the Head of Department speaks to people to Get Things Done. That’s a role I’m performing, that’s all, and people expect me to be the Head of Department. And it helped, and now I can use the phone because I’m used to it.  Hearing them say that was a bit of an epiphany. They weren’t saying “just suck it up”, it’s a complete reframing of the interaction. 

YOU might not like using the telephone to ask so-and-so to do something, but Scientist-In-Charge-Of-Making-This-Thing-Work DOES call Collaborators to remind them, and then Collaborators can respond that they forgot, or they have it scheduled in for next week, because it’s their role to do something. 

YOU might be scared of going into that shop, but a Potential Customer does go into shops and look around. Potential Customer might be asked by Sales Rep whether they need help, and Potential Customer can say just browsing. Sales Rep may watch Potential Customer browse, but that’s okay, because they’re waiting to perform their role. And when Potential Customer leaves the shop, they aren’t that role anymore, back to self. Interaction done. 

YOU might not want to email that person to ask them for a reference, BUT a Final Year Student DOES send the email, because part of their role is to get a reference at the end. And the person receiving the email also has a role, and that is Someone Who Sometimes Gets Reference Requests, that they can response Yes or No to. Then Final Year Student can get their reference about Final Year Student or can move on to someone else. Interaction over. Slate clean. Sometimes we get so caught up we forget that many of the things we do are divorced from our own self, and we worry about judgements from other people. But in a lot of our interactions, especially at work or school, we have a set of roles and rules. When it’s getting really hard for me to do things like email, phone, or go somewhere, it helps me to think of that Professor’s first day as Head of Department, them sitting there with that weight of responsibility and internally screaming as they pick up the phone the first time, because that’s what Head of Departments do. If they can do it and normalise it, I know I can too. One day! :) 

something about death flags (those quickly approaching and those already passed)

Very brave of me to make a set of illustrations that's 90% hands

Anyway. This is about my personal theories/headcanons about the vision requirements

EDIT: I made a post elaborating on my theories/headcanons! Check it out if you wanna know a bit more :D

EDIT (again): Just so you know (bc ppl keep mentioning it in the tags), I am well aware Archons don't personally give out visions😅 The Archons' hands are supposed to be more symbolic, since it IS heavily implied they have a subconcious affect on who gets one, even if they don't actually have any active say in it

“In nature, there’s no glory without sacrifice. Loss and gain are always balanced. Much is lost and much is gained. The people of the era will weigh the scales of good and evil themselves, and their value will be judged by future generations.”

Orleans | Septem | Okeanos | London | E Pluribus Unum | Camelot | Babylonia

Bond Level: Enkidu(Gil's Bestie)

requested by @otaku-tactician

(A/N: I just call him Enki. I think it's cute ^^)

Level 1: "Master...I am now your weapon. Use me as you like. What? Have I said something strange?"

Level 3: -of course when Enki finds out there are 3 Gils in your Chaldea, he smiles and goes to bug them. A friendly punch for AUO(Archer), a gentle head chop for Wise King(Caster) and a big hug for Kid Gil. At this point he mainly hangs around the Gil trio and doesn't come around you as much as you would like, but it doesn't bother you that much. You understand that they are his comfort zone and let him be-

Level 5: "You don't think that I should just view myself as a weapon? I'm sorry but I don't understand. That is what I am. What I was created to be. A weapon. That's why--. What was that? You've never thought of me as a weapon? You've only thought of me as someone you'd like to have as a friend? You...You really are strange, Master."

Level 7: -Enki has started to make some new friends at the Chaldea but he still won't get too close to you. Instead, he'll observe you from afar. He looks like he's trying to figure out exactly WHAT you are. Probably because of your earlier comments. That all changes however, when Ishtar arrives. He pulls you close, glares daggers at her and says, 'If you ever THINK about harming MY pure one, I will end you.' Now he's on around the clock protection mode, always pulling you close when he feels that she is near-

Level 10: "Why do I call you that, you ask? What do you mean? Ah...'My Pure One'. Well, to me you are pure. Your mind, your heart, you soul. Everything. Even with all of the darkness that surrounds and attacks you, you always somehow manage to shine brightly. Your purity is one of the reasons I responded to your summons. After you told me that you didn't see me as a weapon but someone you wanted as a friend, you proved even moreso that you were worthy of such a title. Why do I call you mine specifically? Because you are mine. Oh my, your face is red. Should I take you to the doctor? It's not because you're sick? Then why...Ah! Master, don't run away!" -runs after you- "Tell me why!"

Also Level 10: -everyone in Chaldea now knows you as 'Enkidu's Pure One'. The Gil trio have already come to you with gifts and constantly tell you that as their friends mate, you have their protection. Your room is full of stuff from each of them now, so you have to share a room with Enki(which WAS the plan, those devious blondes). Enki welcomes you with open arms and soft bed. Sometimes he has to run off his friendly trio, for they constantly pester you about what type of palace you'd like to live in with him and how many rooms you'll need, yada, yada, yada. They really are a persistent bunch but they see you as family now so you'll just have to get used it. There are even times when Enki just watches how all four of you interact, a big and bright smile on his face-