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i would like to talk about romance.
not romance in the modern sense - between people - romance in the classical sense. to be a 'romantic'. to find love in nature, in society, in your lived experience. to put a beating heart in the places where the heart did not exist before. i think this is a beautiful trait. i also think it can be extremely damaging.
when the majority of your adolescence is spent building a home out of music that weaponizes sadness; it is easy to think the best way to approach your own sadness is to turn it into something romantic. to put the pain you and your friends have felt on a pedestal. to curate a museum where only the lowest moments of your shared history are permitted entry. in some situations, this can be triumphant. but it can also give too much credit to the sadness. it can allow it to take root in ways you can't really communicate.
sometimes this shared sadness doesn't have to be romantic. it doesn't have to be anything at all. it can just be something that happened and something that is no longer happening. and if you never fell in love with it in the first place, then you don't need to feel heartbroken when you let the sad thing just feel sad until it doesn't anymore. not everything has to be The Moment Of All Time. sometimes, you just need to feel it a little less.
hot chocolate is out everywhere now.