My Favorite Thing About Hobbits Is How No Other Race Has Any Idea How They Work So They Can Just… Bullshit

Unpopular opinion but......

Am I the only one who misses the og marauders? The marauders fandom isn't even about the marauders now, 99% of their canon personality traits hv been replaced with cliqued behaviour. For some reason there's a massive obsession with their sexuality and I just don't get it? Lyk can't u have a character with any sexual orientation with personality traits outside it anymore? Does there really need to be a complete erasure of their most defining traits? I just wish we could get the actual marauders era characters back

James Potter: Pureblood, rich, intelligent, arrogant, a bully, but extremely loyal; took Sirius in and turned into an animagus for his werewolf bestie when the whole world would have shunned him; he could have led a life of utmost comfort but chose to risk his life and fight for those he loved in a war that didn't even concern him personally. His last words were asking his wife and child to escape while he tried to hold voldy off without a wand

Sirius Black: Haughty, a bully, extremely good looking, cool, rich, blood traitor by 16, comes from a family of literal death eaters, very intelligent, loyal, will do anything for those he loves( especially james and later Harry), thick as hell (my boy really survived in a depression prison for 12yrs, tht too after all the horror he'd seen before that), dark, very traumatized and broken

Remus Lupin: Gentle (yup u read that right), kind, mischievous (ppl really overlook this), very insecure, let james and Sirius bully Snape coz he was too thankful for their acceptance and affection to tell them off, considered himself undeserving of love, his self loathing prevents him from being a responsible adult/ parent for Harry, lowkey manipulative. Very compassionate and empathetic even after everything he's been thru tho

Peter Pettigrew: Considered slow and stupid, insecure, tags along with the others for protection, but obviously cunning and manipulative, a disgusting rat tho

Regulus Black: Teenage Reggie worshipped death eaters, he had newspaper clippings of them on his wall, completely believed in those racist ideologies until he realised what the reality of being a death eater was. He tried to bring voldy down but there's no evidence of him completely changing his beliefs about everything else like muggle borns, muggles, werewolves etc. Very cunning and intelligent tho, he discovered voldemort's secret before Dumbledore did. Liked kreacher but kreacher was also brainwashed with pureblood ideology, so I ll only give him half the credit. Bravely sacrificed his life in the end, but he still chose to protect his racist family.

Lily Evans: muggleborn, good at portions, described as popular and vivacious, pretty, the favourite sibling, isn't afraid of standing up to ppl (tht smirk in swm tho?), very brave, and most importantly (ppl really choose to forget this nowadays) a mother who stood in front of her baby boy in hopes of saving him from the darkest wizard alive even tho she herself was only 21 at the time. Tho I'd still say that lily is a badly written character

It's fun to explore characters but not one of these core characteristics r even present. They're turned into one dimensional social justice warriors who r always right in everything they do

Now I get it, ppl want them to fit with current day ideals, but y not just create different/new characters then? What's the point of holding on to that nostalgia if most of their character isn't even there anymore? Where's all the toxicity coming from? And anyone who doesn't agree is homophobic and whatever other -phobic u choose to employ in the most irrelevant context ever. It's all so stupid smh🙄

sometimes i say things on twitter and then make a little graph about it

Sirius leaned his hip against the kitchen counter and breathed out, letting his eyes fall shut. He wrapped his arms around himself and tipped his head back, controlling his breathing till it was a perfect time period— 4 seconds in, 6 seconds hold, 8 seconds release. Repeat.

The kitchen was silent.

It was a rare thing, a silent kitchen— the Order met here for meetings, dinner time was best described as utter chaos, Molly bustled around banging the pots and pans and yelling at her children. Grimmauld Place had a perpetually noisy kitchen, except now, in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep.

The silence was… relaxing.

He breathed out and opened his eyes, slowly turning his head to take in the entirety of the dingy but clean room. The dinner table was spotless, the mahogany wood gleaming with the new coat of polish he and Harry had layered onto it a few days ago. Next to him an empty goblet stood on the counter, emblazoned with the Black Family crest and motto, glaring up at Sirius for daring to use it to drink a few sips of late-night wine. Sirius ignored its presence and picked up the bottle of Nebbiolo red that he had poured from. It wasn't wise to drink more than one glass if one couldn't sleep, and Sirius knew better than most what alcoholism did to people.

"Sirius."

He looked up, and smiled.

"Hello, Harry," he murmured, and Harry gave him a tight smile in return. The expression made something curl unpleasantly in his ribcage, and he kept the bottle back down to walk over to Harry. Close up, there were dark bags under his eyes and his skin was paler than death, and his eyes… Sirius did not want to think about how similar that look was to the one he saw in the mirror.

He wanted to fix everything. He wanted to give Harry a good home, a good life, a good family. He wanted, with all his heart, to have a chance at making everything right. He wanted to drag Harry into a hug and tell him that he was loved, that he deserved better, that he could just say the word and Sirius would take him far away from Britain and its shit politics.

"I didn't hear you come in," he said instead.

Harry shrugged and stuffed his hands into the pocket of his worn-out black hoodie, blinking slowly at the bottle of wine.

"I didn't know you drank," he said quietly, and Sirius almost smiled at how similar he sounded to James when he had been going through puberty. Harry's voice was low, a little raspy, and it suited him well. The thought of James sent a pang of grief through his heart, as usual, and he ignored it in favour of shaking his head.

"Never more that a few sips," he answered as he set it back down, silently pulling out two chairs and gesturing at Harry to take a seat. "Orion drank a lot. Those were never good moments."

His voice echoed around the kitchen, the silence of the night raising the volume so it seemed like he was speaking from all corners of the room. Harry slumped into the chair next to Sirius and looked around, and Sirius swallowed at the gleam in his green eyes. It was… he wanted to make that haunted look go away.

"You know," he murmured, and the boy's eyes snapped towards him. "People keep saying you look exactly like James. With your—"

"—mother's eyes, yeah." Harry looks away, jaw clenching and relaxing. "I know."

Sirius smiled. "It's not entirely true."

Harry looked at him, eyes suddenly sharper than a dagger, and Sirius felt his heart ache at the familiarity of the expression. He nodded at Harry's look of disbelief, smile growing wistful.

"The shape of your lips is all Lily," he explained. "James had a wide-set, smiling mouth. You and Lily, though— little rosebud mouth. James always said Lily was one of the Celtic Fair Folk because of her narrow face."

Harry smiled at him, wonder shining in his eyes, the shadows a little less dark compared to a few minutes ago. Sirius considered that a win, and kept talking.

"And your eyes.. Lily had forest green eyes, with hints of brown and golden if you were close enough to see it. Calm and serene most of the time, till she got angry. Then it felt like she could stab you with just one look."

Both of them huff out quiet little laughs, and Sirius tilted his head up to stare at the ceiling. He could barely get the next words out through the lump in his throat. "You, though— the most brilliant green eyes ever, the exact shade of the Killing Curse. You have your grandfather's eyes."

The sharp breath Harry sucked in echoed through the air like a gunshot.

Sirius twisted his head to glance at him. His expression was unreadable, but there was something… Sirius felt his blood boil.

"Nobody told you about your grandparents, did they?"

.

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Harry Potter spends a lot of time in the hospital wing and that usually because of unusual, complicated, or downright weird even for magical standards conditions. Some of those should even by all rights affect his entire body.

So AU (UA?) in which Madam Pomfrey casts a general diagnosis charm on him, spots the signs of abuse, and rains terror on everybody with a hand in creating Harry’s childhood.

As I like to think of it: Harry Potter and the Angry Healer

It is established in both the books and the movies that the wizarding community has no idea how to blend in with muggles. Especially in the fashion department.

However........HORDES of them go through King’s freaking Cross Station every single September 1st before 11 am.

Every conductor in the greater London area knows the weird phenomenon of strangely dressed people with even weirder luggage apparently traveling to an reenactment or convention but never showing up on any train. They have been trying to solve the SepONE-Mystery for generations.

So I was rereading Harry Potter, when I came across this and thought- what if instead of Cedric Diggory, Cassius Warrington had been chosen to compete in the Triwizard Tournament?

Imagine Dumbledore calling out the name of the Hogwarts champion and it isn’t a Gryffindor, or a Ravenclaw, or even a Hufflepuff, but it’s a Slytherin. A student from a House most people hate.

Imagine Cassius Warrington getting up, and three out of four Houses are booing at him and shouting things like “NO!” or, “We can’t have a Slytherin champion!” or demanding a retry. But he’s a Slytherin- he’s been dealing with this shit since he got sorted, so he keeps his head high and joins the other champions.

Imagine Harry trying to catch Warrington alone because he doesn’t really want to associate with Slytherins (plus Malfoy has this tendency of being around the guy ALL THE TIME since he got chosen), but at the same time he’s also fair enough not to want him to walk into the first task unprepared.

Imagine Warrington walking over to Harry a few months later, and Ron and Hermione both jump into a protective stance, wands out, but instead of attacking Harry he just tells him to stick the egg underwater. (Because Slytherins don’t forget those who helped them out).

Imagine Warrington and Harry helping each other out in the labyrinth.

Imagine Harry being devastated when Peter kills Warrington- because Voldemort doesn’t care what house they’re form, a spare is a spare.

Imagine the uproar that causes among the Slytherins, because some of their parents really are Death Eaters and they know what really happened.

Imagine Slytherins fighting in the Battle of Hogwarts and shouting “This is for Cassius!”

All of this!

Hermione being in charge of food always seemed so odd to me when Harry canonically knows how to cook. And you raised the excellent point that Ron probably was at minimum passingly familiar with food sourcing and foraging.

That's not even mentioning the entire Kreacher situation. With Kreacher being wholly on their side, the trio could probably still have bunkered down in Grimmauld Place behind house elf protection even if one ministry official was in on the fidelius. Or indeed have Kreacher help them with logistics and supply runs.

It's a shame that it ended up with forced stereotypical gender roles. We could instead have had Harry developing a more positive relationship with food preparation through cooking for people he loved and then also partaking in the meal. Sharing a meal he prepared willingly. Ron helping with the ingredient prep and the boys cooking together. Maybe something is boiling on the stove and Hermione, who always connects intellectually to things, talks about the perception of flavour depth... Ron and Harry have to stop her from adding THAT much sugar to their soup.

it’s still bewildering to me that hermione was foraging and cobbling meals out of cans in deathly hollows. what an illogical turn of events.

you have harry, who’s lived a life as a live-in chef since he could reach the stove, and ron, who likely helped his frazzled mother out with small tasks in the kitchen, garden, creek, and coop—two boys with a decent grasp of ingredient prep and food pairings, how to tell if something’s edible or cooked through—but the bookworm who inhales libraries is delegated the task of making fungi palatable? that’s daft.

and why couldn’t the boys go fishing? ted tonks and dean apparently did. accio fish, easy! steal cabbages and eggs from a farmer. ask kreacher for a weekly pantry essentials restock. pilfer groceries under the cloak. they’ve broken enough rules and strict moral codes, so why stop at stealing for survival? if there’s money lying around, sure, pay discreetly.

of all deathly hollow’s gaps and flaws, this is arguably my numero uno gripe. sated stomachs, happy homies—the trio’s camping trip woes would’ve easily halved.

Something I still don’t get is how the entire wizarding world knew to identify Harry by his scar. It seems a little counterproductive to have a distinctive mark of a person supposedly kept from the wizarding world be common knowledge.

Nobody should even suspect there would be a mark - Avada Kedavra famously leaves no trace. And since Harry’s location is a guarded secret, chances are slim that some wizard/witch recognizes him on the streets (because he looks like James maybe), sees the scar, and promptly spreads the word. So that is probably not how the scar gained it’s notoriety.

That leaves the magical people who saw him on November first and second-Hagrid, McGonagall, and Dumbledore. Sirius might have gotten close enough to spot the wound, but Hagrid was the one to get him out, so Sirius likely didn’t know about the scar. He is also out as the one having spread the word because, well, Azkaban.

Hagrid and McGonagall are unlikely to be questioned directly about the events of Halloween or Harry Potter and both heed Dumbledore’s orders to keep mum about Harry’s whereabouts. That leaves one person knowing about the scar and having access to the wizarding world.

...Dumbledore explain.

an unofficial guide to the jellicles

guess what i did instead of working on my assignments tonight