Amazing Work From @mimles On Insta

Oh look, I found a summary of the entire Harry Potter series:

There's something that always confused me about the Harry Potter universe. I don't know if it's just me lacking functioning braincells or what. Disclaimer the answer might be in the books since the films missed loads but it could have also been explained in the films and I'm just dumb. I haven't read the books since I was about 14 and the films since 2018 so maybe I'm forgetting things.

So when Voldemort failed to kill Harry the spell backfired and killed him. He didn't permanently die because he had horcruxes (not including Harry at that time)

Why did it take so long to come back to life. Like I know he was chilling on Quirrels head for a bit. Meaning that he wasn't a full body and hadn't been a full body since the night he killed Lily and James (until the GoF)

Like surely he would just like take a week to recover from dying and then be back up and running.

Cause otherwise horcruxes aren't even that powerful if you have to drink unicorn blood and do a completely separate ritual to be fully back to life. Both of which apparently requires outside assistance.

Because you have to split your soul to make horcruxes which he'd done before. Which if Harry became a horcrux because Voldemort died and split his soul then he's died multiple times before that to create each other horcrux.

Like why did he remain a slug thing for years when he died at the Potters but not when he was losing every other horcrux. Surely soul splitting and dying is calm in comparison to having multiple soul pieces destroyed in succession.

Basically I'm not understanding how you come back to life after dying if you've got a horcrux and how long it takes to do so.

Why didn't Harry drink liquid luck and then go kill Voldemort?

Because he is a dumbass.

“Okay, okay, I’m going to tell you what Hermione sees in Ron. A trio is a balancing act, right? They’re equalizers of each other. Harry’s like the action, Hermione’s the brains, Ron’s the heart. Hermione has been assassinated in these movies, and I mean that genuinely—by giving her every single positive character trait that Ron has, they have assassinated her character in the movies. She’s been harmed by being made to be less human, because everything good Ron has, she’s been given. So, for instance: “If you want to kill Harry, you’re going to have to kill me too”—RON, leg is broken, he’s in pain, gets up and stands in front of Harry and says this. Who gets that line in the movie? Hermione. “Fear of a name increases the fear of the thing itself.” Hermione doesn’t say Voldemort’s name until well into the books—that’s Dumbledore’s line. When does Hermione say it in the movies? Beginning of Movie 2. When the Devil’s Snare is curling itself around everybody, Hermione panics, and Ron is the one who keeps his head and says “Are you a witch or not?” In the movie, everybody else panics and Hermione keeps her head and does the biggest, brightest flare of sunlight spell there ever was. So, Hermione—all her flaws were shaved away in the films. And that sounds like you’re making a kick-ass, amazing character, and what you’re doing is dehumanizing her. And it pisses me off. It really does. In the books, they balance each other out, because where Hermione gets frazzled and maybe her rationality overtakes some of her instinct, Ron has that to back it up; Ron has a kind of emotional grounding that can keep Hermione’s hyper-rationalness in check. Sometimes Hermione’s super-logical nature grates Harry and bothers him, and isn’t the thing he needs even if it’s the right thing, like when she says “You have a saving people thing.” That is the thing that Harry needed to hear, she’s a hundred percent right, but the way she does it is wrong. That’s the classic “she’s super logical, she’s super brilliant, but she doesn’t know how to handle people emotionally,” at least Harry. So in the books they are this balanced group, and in the movies, in the movies—hell, not even Harry is good enough for Hermione in the movies. No one’s good enough for Hermione in the movies—God isn’t good enough for Hermione in the movies! Hermione is everybody’s everything in the movies. Harry’s idea to jump on the dragon in the books, who gets it in the movies? Hermione, who hates to fly. Hermione, who overcomes her withering fear of flying to take over Harry’s big idea to get out of the—like, why does Hermione get all these moments? [John: Because we need to market the movie to girls.] I think girls like the books, period. And like the Hermione in the books, and like the Hermione in the books just fine before Hollywood made her idealized and perfect. And if they would have trusted that, they would have been just fine. Would the movies have been bad if she was as awesome as she was in the books, and as human as she was in the books? Would the movies get worse? She IS a strong girl character. This is the thing that pisses me off. They are equating “strong” with superhuman. To me, the Hermione in the book is twelve times stronger than the completely unreachable ideal of Hermione in the movies. Give me the Hermione in the book who’s human and has flaws any single day of the week. Here’s a classic example: When Snape in the first book yells at Hermione for being an insufferable know-it-all, do you want to know what Ron says in the book? “Well, you’re asking the questions, and she has to answer. Why ask if you don’t want to be told?” What does he say in the movie? “He’s got a point, you know.” Ron? Would never do that. Would NEVER do that, even before he liked Hermione. Ron would never do that.”

—

Melissa Anelli THROWS IT DOWN about the way Ron and Hermione have been adapted in the movies on the latest episode of PotterCast. Listen here. This glorious rant starts at about 49:00. (via karakamos)

I’m quoting this ‘cause Melissa calls it out so hard that Klovis and Yates are hurting from the thumping - and I have absolutely NOTHING to add to it.

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diva-gonzo

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More Weasley Squad vs the wizarding world

After my “how the Weasley siblings at Hogwarts could’ve reacted to CoS” post, I got to thinking on how that would affect the canon immediately post-CoS....

And then I received a wonderful response on that post inquiring if there was more. Thank you so much for your kind comment @transparentfreakpursepanda and this one’s for you.

In my opinion, the drivers of the big changes would be the twins. In their new protector-role I think they’d keep the map with them and have a close eye on it. They’d also inform Ron, Ginny, and Harry (and through them Hermione) of a) the map, b) whatever they know of Sirius Black, and c) of the most useful hidden passages in the castle.

But even more interesting is when and how they’d inform the younger kids. Maybe once they are all at Hogwarts, because that is when it starts becoming relevant. Maybe they check the map thoroughly for potential eaves-droppers before joining the newly established quartet in the remote classroom. Maybe they spot “Peter Pettigrew” among the cluster of names and decide to hide the map for a while longer after all. Not seeing a person whose name shows up on the map is.... disconcerting to say the least. They dislike invisible potential threats and bodyless things with names after the Diary.

Instead they show the others some hidden passages. Every once in a while, either draws attention and the other checks the map. Peter Pettigrew stubbornly stays with them.

Percy researches Sirius Black with more ferocity than even his essays and keeps the twins and the quartet, albeit a little muted, informed of his findings. The twins get one of the Prophet editions detailing Black’s crimes to get a feel for his MO and find Peter Pettigrew listed as the magical person Black allegedly murdered.

They panic a little. Alright, they panic a lot.

And then they show the map to Percy. More specifically, they show “Peter Pettigrew” next to “Ron Weasley”, “Hermione Granger” and “Harry Potter” in the middle of the Gryffindor common room. In their frenzy they miss the tag reading “Sirius Black” near Hagrid’s Hut.

Percy gets George banned from the library for two weeks by blaming his impressive flood of cursing on him. Fred and George learn three new terms they absolutely are going to use. And then Percy doubles down on Peter Pettigrew as well as Sirius Black.

The Halloween Break-In happens. They scour the Map for any trace of Sirius Black, but he has long since disappeared, and when they check again the next morning so has the tag “Peter Pettigrew” and Ron is mourning Scabbers. That sparks a horrible idea. They know about animagi, having been taught by one for years. And the Professor shows up on the map no matter her current shape, they had tested that extensively back in first year.

So they gather Percy and Ron and Harry and Hermione and Ginny and after checking if Peter Pettigrew is REALLY not with them, they share both the map and their theory on Scabbers.

Percy shows the record of students graduating in 1978 he found deep in the Deputy Mistress’ archives, including the names of both Black and Pettigrew, but also Potter, Evans, Snape, and Lupin.

Harry pipes up that apparently Black and Pettigrew both were close to his father and so was the Professor. (”which one?” - “Snape obviously. Seriously George”) So if he asks about his parents, maybe he could find out more about Pettigrew, including if he was an animagus.

Percy and Hermione compare notes on what they know of animagi-related spells. Eventually they decide Hermione should ask Professor McGonagall about them, in relation to the werewolf-lecture they received from Snape Ron jumps into the planning. By comparing ways and methods of transformation Hermione has a reason to be curious and turn to McGonagall in particular. And approximately 73 tangents to go off on after she got her answers to hide the particular interest in forcing animagi to detransform.

Said and done. Two days later Hermione has a list of books on animagus spells and with Percy’s access, the bookworms dig up both a reversal spell and a general checking charm if an animal is an animagus.

By late November, the eldest three assume they have the spell down, it’s a bit hard to test without an animagus at hand and McGonagall is NOT to be included, and the younger students have checked every pet in Gryffindor tower and the owlery for animagusery. The transformation was judged to be a bit too advanced for them after all, they do want to have Pettigrew identifiable. They also all know Stupor and the countercharm.

In early December, Hagrid invites the trio down for tea and during that conversation they find Scabbers. Ron is good with voices and he forces himself to sound “appropriately” happy instead of showing his distress.

As soon as they are out of sight of Hagrid’s Hut, the rat is stunned, knocked out, petrificus totalused and checked for animagus within seconds. The light glow settles into the fur and for just a moment human features are visible-it is an animagus.

They bolt to the remote classroom that became their main base and are met by Fred and George, who had seen Peter Pettigrew show up on the Map again with the trio and gathered Percy and Ginny.

That is the moment they realize they have no plan for AFTER capturing Pettigrew. They stunned him, so he knows they are aware of some parts. Just going back to normal is not an option. Is he guilty of any crimes? How would a bunch of teenagers go about following that up? How would they explain how they knew something was up?? They had an adult, supposedly dead wizard stunned in their hands!!!

Fred and George look at each other, shrug, and suggest making sure nobody knows they were involved. Considering Harry stunned Pettigrew from behind even he might not know if all of them were attacked or if it was just him. After all, Black might have been after Pettigrew as well, considering he tried to kill him. So just leave him somewhere he will be recognized and let the adults deal with the mess?

So they check the map and find most professors in the Great Hall at dinner. Including Lupin. Who always returns to his office to grade after dinner. And offers students to come ask questions then.

So they break into the Defense Office and detransform Pettigrew on the desk, just as Ginny warns that Professor Lupin is leaving the Great Hall at speed. Five minutes if he sticks to the corridors, two if he knows the secret passages.

They don’t take chances and fire of another stunner before pulling the door closed and hurtling towards a passage that’ll take them to a lower floor and safely out of the path of Professor Lupin WHO REALLY KNOWS THE PASSAGES SWEET MERLIN HERMIONE GET IN GET IN AND CLOSE THE TAPESTRY.

Not a moment after they are hidden from sight, they hear first footsteps and then an unholy shout. They bustle through the passage and then double back towards the Hall, just to nearly fall over the railings of the Grand Staircase when Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall come sprinting up the stairs, the entire structure snapping to attention and creating an immediate path for the Headmaster and Deputy.

They grab some easily transported foods from the tables and rejoin the curious stream of students towards Defense.

An hour later Aurors Bones, Moody, and Shaklebolt are seen in Hogwarts.

The next day sees rumours of somebody returning from the dead and the Minister of Magic nearly defacing his bowler in the corridor leading to Charms.

A week later Sirius Black’s name is cleared.

Oh right, he was around too. The seven had completely forgotten the mass murderer. Correction, alleged mass murderer.

Something I still don’t get is how the entire wizarding world knew to identify Harry by his scar. It seems a little counterproductive to have a distinctive mark of a person supposedly kept from the wizarding world be common knowledge.

Nobody should even suspect there would be a mark - Avada Kedavra famously leaves no trace. And since Harry’s location is a guarded secret, chances are slim that some wizard/witch recognizes him on the streets (because he looks like James maybe), sees the scar, and promptly spreads the word. So that is probably not how the scar gained it’s notoriety.

That leaves the magical people who saw him on November first and second-Hagrid, McGonagall, and Dumbledore. Sirius might have gotten close enough to spot the wound, but Hagrid was the one to get him out, so Sirius likely didn’t know about the scar. He is also out as the one having spread the word because, well, Azkaban.

Hagrid and McGonagall are unlikely to be questioned directly about the events of Halloween or Harry Potter and both heed Dumbledore’s orders to keep mum about Harry’s whereabouts. That leaves one person knowing about the scar and having access to the wizarding world.

...Dumbledore explain.

In the Goblet of Fire, a binding magical contract was struck between Harry and the Goblet of Fire without his consent or active participation and we can assume the consequences of breaking it are similar to breaking an Unbreakable Vow. The Goblet evidently didn’t care Harry was not in the intended available group, it only selected the best suited.

So let’s say another Tournament is held, with only alumni participating and the event itself closely kept secret between the headmasters and whoever keeps the Goblet. The Task? Something really simple. The former Hogwarts student entered? Tom Marvolo Riddle. Who has no idea the Tournament is happening, doesn’t compete, and gets destroyed by the Goblet of Fire.

Now, maybe Barty Crouch Jr. didn’t just throw in a parchment with Harry’s name, but took his signature from an essay.

Well, Voldemort had a diary which is kept by Dumbledore at that point. And in it’s cover it declares itself with permanent ink to be property of T.M.Riddle. So technically, this should work and also affect the horcruxes as part of the oath-breaking individual.

Point of Canon Divergence: summer before fifth year

Reason of Divergence: Ron decides that turning his back on Harry by leaving him out of the loop is the single stupidest idea he has ever heard. He did that last year and ended up looking a right arse, no thank you.

So he manages to get his hands on some muggle coins, left-overs from the Quidditch Championship that his Dad collected. Then he badgers Sirius into duplicating them until he has a pouch full. It goes a little something like “hey Sirius, Imma try a way of contacting Harry that the Death Eaters probably don’t even know about and I need a LOT of muggle coins for that. Can you help me?” and Sirius starts duplicating and transfiguring trash into passable imitations of muggle currency and tells Ron all the things to please let Harry know.

And then Ron sneaks out of Grimmauld Place and looks for the nearest payphone. He has the Dursleys’ number after all. Fifteen minutes of searching and another three of Mrs Dursley’s screeching later, he can finally talk with his best mate. Sirius’s duplicates may disappear again after a while, but each one works long enough to let the phone call run on.

6 zoo myths that arent true

The greatest song ever written was conjured by an Italian for a scene in a Western filmed in Spain where a Polish man pretending to be a Mexican bandit does a gay little run through a graveyard for three and a half minutes uninterrupted