I Can’t Even Quite Articulate What It’s Like To Be Socialized On Tumblr From A Teenager To Adulthood

'shut up' but like flirtatiously.

People who see pics of like those fucked up deep sea fish and creatures and go "omg I'm never going swimming in the ocean again 😰😰😰" calm down. They're 5000 feet below where you are and also i went down there and none of them even knew you. Leave them alone bitch

I've realized recently that every time I'm asked for socials my response is sorta "oh i don't have twitter" "I'm not on Instagram much" "i uninstalled TikTok a few months ago" and this has led people into believing I'm just someone who doesn't do social media but in reality you can find me in here lets get it on cunts monday through shawty like a melody sunday, 9am to 12am, posting blorbo.

Guide to Whole Foods

So I just finished Oathbringer

Wow, Guillermo del Toro really said You know what my animated kid's musical needs? Catholicism. War. Death. Alcoholism. Fascism. Frankensteinian undertones. A haunting meditation on mortality and grief. Cate Blanchett making monkey noises. And he was so fucking right

Okay I just wrapped up the annual Over the Garden Wall rewatch and it’s late and I don’t know how well I’ll be able to articulate these thoughts but:

The Beast knows it’s in a story

The Beast knows it’s in a story, and it knows how people react to stories, and that’s horrifying in a series based out of folklore and fairy tales and storytelling tradition. The Beast preys on people by knowing how they’ll react to stories. The Beast acts frustrated that Greg used a honey comb for a “golden comb” and a spiderweb on a stick for a “spool of silver thread,” but it’s baiting a trap - by exploiting that same fairytale logic, Greg is going to die of exposure in the cold while he waits for the sun to “set” in a cup

Because of course Greg will wait to see the sun set into the cup. Of course the Woodsman will keep the lantern lit. That’s how the story should go. The Beast is a parasite sucking blood out of a perfectly arranged Grimm fairy tale about the martyrdom of parenthood.

The only way to properly defeat it is to actively defy the story being set out ahead of you. Over the Garden Wall says, over and over again, that Wirt will sacrifice his life for Greg. “You are responsible for you and your brother’s actions,” the show says. The original pitch bible for the series said that Wirt would sacrifice himself for Greg, that he’d die to take responsibility for Greg-

And then Wirt stops and says “Wait. That’s dumb” and immediately shatters the story that’s been set up for him, and that’s how he defeats the Beast.