This Is The Face He Makes When He Wants To Hunt Wizards ❤️

the internet HAS been turned into a series of easily swallowable pills for quick consumption and standardization and I don’t think it’s ‘boomery’ to discuss how the internet no longer feels like a wild wild west and has been massively gentrified for quick access to anything you could ever want or need and that next hit of dopamine. there is a difference between ‘social media bad’ and ‘our experiences online are increasingly manufactured by algorithms looking to make money from scraping metrics of data about who we are to either sell us stuff or sell who we are to people who will sell us stuff’

getting this in the hopes someone tries to mug me

©耳朵_du_Lac

One thing that pisses me off is people seeing fish in aquariums (the establishments, not home aquariums) and being like “It’s so sad because the ocean is so big and the tank is so small and they’ll never know freedom blah blah blah-“ I’m not talking about sharks and marine mammals here but the majority of fish are not at all bothered by being in an aquarium instead of the open ocean. Like, I personally would love to be a little clown fish in one of those big reef tanks. Fed regularly. Whole team of people monitoring my health and well-being. No predators. Medicated if I show signs of illness. Aquarium fish have cushy gigs in comparison to their wild companions.

one of my cousins has one of those wretched sequined nicolas cage pillows and today the rest of us received this photo of perhaps the most upsetting thing i’ve seen all year, slugolas cage

everyone shut up ive been struck by the simple beauty of ordinary life

Ottoman yataghan from the Court of Suleyman the Magnificent, 16th c, workshop of Ahmed Tekelü (possibly Iranian, active Istanbul, ca. 1520–30), steel, walrus ivory, gold, silver, rubies, turquoise, pearls, gold incrustation on the blade depicts combat between a dragon and a phoenix, gold-inlaid cloud bands the ivory grips.

before i watched the show i deadass thought hannibal was a dentist

he should have been. he could have gone on his crazy monologues and then been like “don’t you think?” while inspecting someone’s teeth and they’d be like mhmnhkhgdjfbhfjrh

Okay I just wrapped up the annual Over the Garden Wall rewatch and it’s late and I don’t know how well I’ll be able to articulate these thoughts but:

The Beast knows it’s in a story

The Beast knows it’s in a story, and it knows how people react to stories, and that’s horrifying in a series based out of folklore and fairy tales and storytelling tradition. The Beast preys on people by knowing how they’ll react to stories. The Beast acts frustrated that Greg used a honey comb for a “golden comb” and a spiderweb on a stick for a “spool of silver thread,” but it’s baiting a trap - by exploiting that same fairytale logic, Greg is going to die of exposure in the cold while he waits for the sun to “set” in a cup

Because of course Greg will wait to see the sun set into the cup. Of course the Woodsman will keep the lantern lit. That’s how the story should go. The Beast is a parasite sucking blood out of a perfectly arranged Grimm fairy tale about the martyrdom of parenthood.

The only way to properly defeat it is to actively defy the story being set out ahead of you. Over the Garden Wall says, over and over again, that Wirt will sacrifice his life for Greg. “You are responsible for you and your brother’s actions,” the show says. The original pitch bible for the series said that Wirt would sacrifice himself for Greg, that he’d die to take responsibility for Greg-

And then Wirt stops and says “Wait. That’s dumb” and immediately shatters the story that’s been set up for him, and that’s how he defeats the Beast.

Breakfast Across the Globe

as you drive to your final destination for the day, you pass a crossroads. there is a hitchhiker posted next to the stop sign.

they approach your window. had it been brighter, had there been more people in the car, you might've picked them up. it is far too late and too lonely in your car, so you shake your head and begin to accelerate.

they seem to keep pace with your car, running alongside it until you reach 35.

you pull up to the next stop sign, and try not to look. there's a hitchhiker there. staring at you, but they seem longer than before. taller, lanky. you begin to accelerate.

they keep pace with you, for miles they run next to you car, eyes unblinking.

close your eyes, just for a moment. they've gone. you're back at the first crossroads, and nothing remains but the feeling of someone watching from a distance. just a trace, like a memory