Undeadguy

compilation of texts my mom has sent me when my cat is wailing outside my room and i haven’t opened the door for her yet

Me when I crawl through the thick underbrush of the local woods and come across a live unexploded landmine

Amen to that little dude

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

If u want to write a story about a character that's just you but hotter with a dark twisted backstory and magical powers and a pet falcon or something, I think u should just go ahead and do that. Who's gonna stop you? The government?? Fuck the police.

I am 1% human and 99% tired

“influencer” is such a sinister title. it’s got all the menace of “royal adviser” but none of the raw sex appeal.

there’s something deeply, fundamentally wrong with you. can we kiss