Vernaldreams - You're My Mortal Flaw And I'm Your Fatal Sin

Enkidu - 3rd sprite redesign

Once Gilgamesh was done it was a no brainer his pal had to follow, so here’s Enkidu’s own “more Sumerian-looking” redesigned sprite. 

*usual disclaimer: DO NOT REPOST ON OTHER SITES*

Breakdown of changes and references under the cut.

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Day 443: I got a really specific headcanon involving the chest drops and how they're retrieved. When an enemy is defeated and drops a chest, if a Servant is close to it they bring it back to Master's side, however if the chest is dropped and no one is close to it, Master runs across the field and runs back with it in hand.

Basically Master is doing this:

So... I found this and now it keeps coming to mind. You hear about "life-changing writing advice" all the time and usually its really not—but honestly this is it man.

I'm going to try it.

I’ve always struggled with social anxiety and self-confidence in different areas. It waxes and wanes in amplitude, but it’s always there. This affects my ability to do research as I struggle to do things like use the phone, send emails asking people to do things in a timely fashion, and finish work due to perfectionism.  It was really bad a couple of years ago, during my PhD. We had official annual meetings with a member of staff to check on progress back then, which were a good idea but terrified the students. I always had mine with a member of faculty a lot of people are scared of. I’m not sure why, maybe because their courses were very difficult and they was a strict marker? I’d heard they’d mellowed over the years so maybe, like a fear of the dark, students’ wariness passed down the generations.  Whatever the reason, I’d never been scared of them, and always saw them as a fair mind when it came to assessing my progress. I wouldn’t believe myself or my friends mostly, but I’d trust them to tell the truth. On my last meeting they knew I wasn’t very well. I always cried in these meetings through stress/lifting of stress, so true to form the box of tissues were ready and they offered me a fruit tea. I had the summer fruits. It was really sweet and calming, and I didn’t need the tissues that year. We spoke at length about why I was struggling within myself when my work seemed perfectly fine, even really good in places. And we got talking about anxiety when not at work. Turns out both of us have similar social anxiety problems! We both struggle to go in a shop with no or few other customers, because we hate being watched by staff. It’s really specific but I bet it’s common haha. We both hate using the phone, even ordering take away is difficult! Maybe this is why I wasn’t scared of them?  At any rate, it was great to know I wasn’t alone, here was a full professor with the same problems I have, still doing science! But, I asked, how do you do it? How did you get this high up the ladder and not quit, or not take it out on yourself? How are you not anxious all the time? Oh, I am anxious, they said. I was really bad for years. Wouldn’t use the phone at all. But then I was made Head of Department.  That’s terrifying! What did you do? Well I was still anxious, about using the phone for example. But I realised, the Head of Department uses the phone to call people to get things sorted quickly. And at the moment, I’m Head of Department. That’s the hat I’m wearing. The Head of Department picks up the phone and the Head of Department speaks to people to Get Things Done. That’s a role I’m performing, that’s all, and people expect me to be the Head of Department. And it helped, and now I can use the phone because I’m used to it.  Hearing them say that was a bit of an epiphany. They weren’t saying “just suck it up”, it’s a complete reframing of the interaction. 

YOU might not like using the telephone to ask so-and-so to do something, but Scientist-In-Charge-Of-Making-This-Thing-Work DOES call Collaborators to remind them, and then Collaborators can respond that they forgot, or they have it scheduled in for next week, because it’s their role to do something. 

YOU might be scared of going into that shop, but a Potential Customer does go into shops and look around. Potential Customer might be asked by Sales Rep whether they need help, and Potential Customer can say just browsing. Sales Rep may watch Potential Customer browse, but that’s okay, because they’re waiting to perform their role. And when Potential Customer leaves the shop, they aren’t that role anymore, back to self. Interaction done. 

YOU might not want to email that person to ask them for a reference, BUT a Final Year Student DOES send the email, because part of their role is to get a reference at the end. And the person receiving the email also has a role, and that is Someone Who Sometimes Gets Reference Requests, that they can response Yes or No to. Then Final Year Student can get their reference about Final Year Student or can move on to someone else. Interaction over. Slate clean. Sometimes we get so caught up we forget that many of the things we do are divorced from our own self, and we worry about judgements from other people. But in a lot of our interactions, especially at work or school, we have a set of roles and rules. When it’s getting really hard for me to do things like email, phone, or go somewhere, it helps me to think of that Professor’s first day as Head of Department, them sitting there with that weight of responsibility and internally screaming as they pick up the phone the first time, because that’s what Head of Departments do. If they can do it and normalise it, I know I can too. One day! :) 

feeling called out today

credit: _ADWills

its been officially one year since i rolled enkidu!!!

avengers must give what is possibly the most powerful second hand embarrasment in existance considering that unlike most servants they're completely unironic about how they love guda and dont keep the "im a weapon" mentality for too long. I walk into the chaldea mess hall and edmond literally morphs out of the table i sat at to be by my side and cuddle me while i eat breakfast. I do farming dailies and gorgon cant stop coiling herself around me and keeps saying its to more efficiently conserve mana. I bump into salieri in the hallway and he starts sobbing and thanking me for loving him. nobu for all their shits and giggles still feels the pain that comes hand in hand with avenger classing so they just like to have a book read to them quietly. angra beats me in a video game and starts apologizing about daring to try and ruin me. I walk into my room ready to enjoy my government sanctioned McChaldea Mcflurry and find jalter sobbing on my bed about how she doesnt matter. I give her the flurry. She cries into that too. Shes hugging me and crying but also spilling the flurry everywhere. All the other servants look at these displays and turn their heads bc emotional openness is the servant equivalent of being a loud shameless couple making out in public. Mash cant make eye contact with me anymore bc she thinks im banging all of them. it may be true

Normal things to say to your best friend

“This is the single greatest panel ever published in a Transformers comic.”

it’s nap time