Like Look At Him He Is So Little And Cartoony - Blog Posts

astraltravelerjayden

1 year ago

nobody asked me my headcanons on Bill's weird alien shape gender but that's only because you didn't know you wanted to know

Panel one: captioned "Age 2." Drawing of a very small Bill Cipher with tiny chubby limbs, an enormous shiny eye, and youthful innocence. He's saying, "I'm a trangle. An equilatalal tringle. The cutest troingle."
Panel two: captioned "Age 14." Bill Cipher, looking older but still with a slight youthful features (shiny eye, mildly rounded corners, thicker limbs) with his hands on his "hips" glancing off to the side defensively. He's saying, "The doc said I'm psychic because I can bend into the third dimension because I have... WEIRD geometry. So if equilateral and scalene and isosceles are separate sub-genders, is 'psychic' a sub-gender? I feel like being psychic is a gender role. I'll fight you about it."
Panel three: captioned "Age 1,000,000,00..." Bill, now fully adult, wearing a bow tie, glowing, and floating in a blue void, looks deep in thought and a bit perturbed. He's thinking, "I think I feel like I'm. like. Slightly square too. I wouldn't call myself a square, if I had to pick one thing it would be triangle, I'm never NOT a triangle. But there's somethiiiinng squareish here. Like a full plate of triangle with a side dish of square. Simultaneously. I can't tell people this, being a triangle is my whole thing. Kryptos would be sooooo annoying about it if I said I feel slightly quadrilateral. What does it mean. How do you be a square in a triangular way. Or triangular in a square way?? I don't even know what I'm talking about. I should have talked—"
Panel four A: captioned "2500 BCE". Screenshot (now colored) from Gravity Falls of a (presumably Egyptian) pyramid sitting in the sand under the sun. Panel four B: close up on Bill, his eye turned into an exclamation point, hands raised in excitement, shouting "HOLY SH—" Panel four C: Bill, now with his typical brick-line pattern on the bottom half of his body, with his fists raised in the air and his feet kicked out chanting "BRICKS BRICKS BRICKS BRICKS".
Panel five: captioned "2012". Screenshot from Gravity Falls of Bill depicted as a multi-tiered six-armed glowing-eyed black-bricked neon-grout pyramid floating in front of the interdimensional rift, with large text scrawled behind him saying "GENDER EUPHORIA". Second caption: "And then he died."

of course he has gold bricks and pronouns

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everything he is tiny he is the cutest he’s not just the cutest triangle so smal so cute adult him is adorable to and I can’t be convinced otherwise like look at him he is so little and cartoony

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