Geeksmash-h

me???? tired???? sleepy???? yes constantly

#full time surgeons, part time rockstars

 the medicine & anatomy students

a pristine white coat, worn with pride

intricately labeled diagrams

studying models of anatomy until you could describe them with your eyes closed

reading research published on niche topics

the mingling scents of disinfectant and anesthetics

focused eyes and steady hands as you perform a dissection

heavy textbooks piled on your shelves

detailed notes, understanding each subject inside and out

the rush of your own heartbeat in your ears

visualizing the muscles and tendons and arteries and all buried beneath your skin

the fluorescent glow of hospital lights

reciting the hippocratic oath

a stethoscope hanging around your neck

a fascination with the workings of the human body

shadows under your eyes from studying late into the night

learning the history of medicine

growing accustomed to the sight of blood

cups of black coffee, feeling the caffeine work its way through your veins

memorizing the names of bones and muscles

tracking the course of your own illnesses and injuries

antique anatomical drawings pinned to your walls alongside your own sketches

strong attention for detail, a gift for precision

the cool metal of surgical instruments

knowing the exact effect of various medications on the body

Hbd my summer child

"You did well."

My favorite shit is seeing former Gifted Kids go from workaholic repressed bitches to full on Cottagecore bitches. Like, I went to a Gifted Program in High school. That kid obsessed with Chemistry and Astrophysics? He works at an animal sanctuary now. That kid who overworked himself just for the teacher's approval? He delivers things while taking care of his houseplants with his girlfriend. I, the kid who had a full-blown breakdown when the teacher said she wasn't trying hard enough? I'm taking care of my aging parents while doing a sewing apprenticeship.

It's like a rebellion in the most wholesome way possible, I am LIVING for it.

Dark academia aesthetic

I hate feeling like people are getting bored of me

cant sleep too busy thinking about “love is awful. it’s awful. it’s painful. it’s frightening. it makes you doubt yourself, judge yourself, distance yourself from the other people in your life. it makes you selfish. it makes you creepy, makes you obsessed with your hair, makes you cruel, makes you say and do things you never thought you would do. it’s all any of us want, and it’s hell when we get there. so no wonder it’s something we don’t want to do on our own. i was taught if we’re born with love then life is about choosing the right place to put it. people talk about that a lot, feeling right, when it feels right it’s easy. but i’m not sure that’s true. it takes strength to know what’s right. and love isn’t something that weak people do. being a romantic takes a hell of a lot of hope. i think what they mean is, when you find somebody that you love, it feels like hope.”

my anons are on for a reason. go confess your undying love for me.