::..in This Peculiar Place... *A Snippet*

Authentic!!!???

I've been called authentic a time or two ... or three or four in my lifetime... I have still yet to know exactly what that means ... 

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. [Romans 8:28]

Untitled ::

I haven't written a rhyme since the last time .... ....since the last time I laid bare in the dark && listened to the sound of my own heartbeat Whispering your name rhythmically For some odd and unapparent reason You motivate me ... && I wish that I could shake this feeling of thinking about you incessantly && Wanting you to need me && Needing you to want me But I can't I don't want to, honestly Even if you shared with me that you never have and never would love me I'd accept that happily Because love that is never returned lasts eternally ~ineffablebeauti                                        

Fulfillment Costs an Arm and a Leg... Literally!!!

So, as I was going about my normal routine this morning I took a second to stop and watch the local news, which featured an ex-marine who lost both his legs and an arm during combat. 

Upon first glance, I assumed this was going one of those stories that tugged at my heart strings, causing an endless stream of tears to sympathetically flow.  However, the experience was to the contrary. 

Nicholas Kimmel---or Nick for short--- is full of life, hope, energy and passion.  He is relentless in his pursuit for adventure and a good ole adrenaline rush.  Since losing three limbs, Nick has fearlessly wrestled an alligator, kayaked across untamed waters, courageously jumped from a plane, is studiously learning to play the piano and regularly surfs.  College is his next endeavor.  

As I think about Nick and all of his extraordinary feats, I ponder on my own life, and can't help but wonder, "What the hell is keeping me from living out my dreams? What's preventing me from doing what I love? What stands between me and living a completely fulfilled life?"  Then I realize the answer is, "Me and my lame excuses". 

Now, ask yourself that very same question--What is preventing YOU from living a COMPLETELY FULFILLED and TOTALLY AWESOME LIFE?--  REALLY think about the answer. Then.... GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY!!!

~Untitled

Days out here seem to all resemble one another

Nights are soo lonely, that my inner fears are the ones

That I cuddle with, No cover.

See it’s cold when I need warmth

And warm when my hearts cold

Been around for some time

Even when I’m strong

It seems like I’m strongly losing my mind

As I fade I am reminded of the gifts I left home

My heart lies in some hands

And those hands, you happen to own

Since day one, we have grown

You have been you and I have constantly been me

So even when we are separated by 7 seas

You continue to have this special part of me

Inspiration is what you have given

Motivation is what I teach

Because it is the only way, I keep my goals in reach

Never shall I perish, without giving a hard fight

You should really know

That you have a big impact, ON MY LIFE

  - MY THOUGHTS OF YOU-

by: Him <3

Claim it, Name it...THEN GO GET IT!

Do you lack confidence? Self esteem? Courage?  Do you desire any (or all) of the aforementioned things?  Are your desires for these things expressed in your petitions and prayers to our Heavenly Father AND are you waiting to see the fruition of God’s promises of these things?  Though God is very much able to GIVE us the desires of our hearts, I truly believe that the manifestation of said desires is contingent upon our own hard work and genuine effort.  If you want confidence, challenge yourself!  What about self esteem?  You need to start believing in YOURSELF!  How about courage?  Face those fears and hidden demons!   Want success?  Take a leap of faith. While God is capable of doing exceedingly, abundantly and above all we can ever ask or think, He will not step off of His Throne of Grace and leave Heaven and smack you on your forehead to impart all the things that you lack!  He will however, meet you as far as you are willing to go.  If you take two steps, God will equip you to supernaturally take the next two.  Don’t just sit around, waiting for your “blessings” to fall from the sky; because in all likelihood, you’ll be waiting forever!  The church teaches that faith operates on a “name it and claim it” premise, leaving out the most important principal:  GO GET IT!!!!  That’s right, Name it, Claim it and GO GET IT!  (Prepare for it, research, save, enroll in a class, exercise, eat right, practice, repeat, challenge, stretch yourself, read, write, listen, learn, etc.)  In other words, make some type of forward motion toward your desired blessing (which you have already claimed your stakes to).  Remain consistent, persistent and determined; then and only then will the blessing will fall into your lap! Peace and Blessings! ~ineffalbebeauti

Paradigm Shift

Honestly, I don't know when the transition occurred. For so long, because of erroneous impartations, fallacious teachings, and destructive learned habits, I thought that my future had been predetermined... that I was not capable of shaping my own destiny. However, after a paradigm shift,

(I'm not sure at what point this occurred, maybe in one day or maybe even over a period of weeks or months) my eyes were opened, and I was enlightened by the idea that there had to be more.  I realized that the very same God that meticulously shaped every corner of this beautiful celestial body called Earth, the very same God that created something out absolutely NOTHING... dwells within me. I therefore concluded that I HAD to be capable of GREATER WORKS. Further, I realized that the very same creative powers possessed by this Almighty God are also possessed by little old me. Thus, my transformation/transmutation into my designed form began. Let me be clear, I have not reached this "designed form" and have a painstakingly, long journey ahead before "arriving." My road to personal development thus far has been a winding one, inundated by yield and stop signs, sharp turns, sudden stops, road blocks, dead ends, detours, and construction zones. It has been one of the most difficult, yet most fulfilling journeys I have ever embarked upon; and needless to say, quitting often appears very attractive. However, because I keep the end goal in mind, I am determined to continue to push forward no matter how tough this journey becomes. For it is during these difficult times that we experience the most significant growth. At times when we seem to be overwhelmed by turmoil and conflict is when we are stretched beyond ourselves and become that much closer to reaching our maximum potential.

Raging Flames ::

See, my tears are gasoline that my words ignite, Fired off by rage, Haphazardly setting my pillows ablaze…, …W/a contrite heart I abashadly gaze, As my world is engulfed, consumed by those raging flames… flames that leave my burning yearnings unfulfilled, catapulted by jolts of devoured anger - subdued in my own tears - fears and hallucinations - reflections in the mirror; but wait.. it’s just me backwards so I’ll take back words and move forward. My heart melted when I heard those four words… I LOVE YOU, TOO ~Ineffablebeauti 

Confession Booth ... ::

CONFESSION BOOTH: Truth be told, like thumps in the night, im kinda like frightened by you. Cuz im really kinda diggin u... Like my body on lonely nights, im really feelin u But like dumb insecurities, im really kinda intimidated by you... Cuz im really like diggin u... So honestly, I kinda like hold back from you... Giving u only a snippet of my endless possibilities Something like a sneak preview.... im really kinda holdin bk from you Cuz im really kinda diggin u... Confession booth... 

Who am I to be TALENTED?

I vividly recall attending church service Sunday after Sunday, anticipating the latter part of service where my pastor would call for those desiring salvation, prayer, or just a simple, encouraging “word from God.”  And every Sunday I attended church, expecting a “WORD STRAIGHT FROM ZION”.

My spirit yearned for my Apostle (or some other spiritual leader) to relay to me, a message straight from the mouth of God, proclaiming,  “Gawd said that He has mighty works in store for you, He said that if you just submit to Him (something that I was more than willing to do), then He would use you to reach his people.”(In my Southern Baptist Preacher Voice)  I wanted to HEAR God convey to me that I was destined for greatness.   Every Sunday I left disappointed.  It never happened. 

I recall sitting in anticipation as my Apostle would purposefully scan the congregation, in search for what I imagined was a big flashing neon

arrow

pointing down at the people for whom God had a profound word.   I would bow my head and earnestly wait for my Apostle to pull me from my chair to relay to me God’s message. Again, I left disappointed, but only after hearing what God had in store for Susan, Jane, Jim, Tabitha, Randy and Samantha, never receiving specific instruction or direction for myself.  

My small mind could only surmise that because this man never saw anything in me, (or at least ever made any mention of it) and because he was presumably a vessel whom God uses to communicate His thoughts and ideas to His people, that maybe, just maybe, God had not imparted greatness in me. 

I further concluded that the fire that burned so intensely in my heart and spirit would eventually have to become a dwindling flame.  After all, who was I to step before God and feed the flame that burned internally so that it engulfed my entire being? (Who the heck was I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?)  Who was I to live MY dreams? 

 I rationalized by explaining to myself that in order to balance the “circle of life”, some were meant to live mediocre lives; while others---the ones with the flashing neon arrows above their heads-- would live an abundant, fulfilling life.   

Discouragement and defeat eventually consumed my thoughts.  Hopelessness and nothingness annihilated my dreams, and I smothered the fire that at one time fueled my drive to divinely and supernaturally  break the cycle of mediocrity, low self esteem and poverty that plagued my family & SO MANY of our communities.   

However, years later, through a simple Youtube video made by ET The Hip Hop Preacher, I would discover that although I had attempted to extinguish that internal fire... little burning embers were left, scattered about in my heart, my spirit and my soul that would eventually reignite, causing a blazing inferno of hopes, dreams and aspirations to take over my very essence...  Like a raging wildfire, this sea of flame would become seemingly impossible to douse.  

 So, here I am today, chasing after my dreams. The very Bible that I stand upon says that I was made in the image and likeness of God.  To be clear, the Bible describes God as a CONSUMING FIRE, TRIUMPHANT OVER HIS ENEMIES, POWERFUL, UNIQUE and PREEMINENT.  In no way shape, fashion or form do these words indicate MEDIOCRE.  Thus, I was NOT created to be mediocre. 

Through prayer, reading and attentively listening to the Word, I can now hear God for myself and I NOW CHOOSE to ENCOMPASS the image and likeness of God! 

  I CHOOSE TO LIVE MY DREAMS AND CHASE MY DESTINY.