onedynamicdream

Latest Posts by onedynamicdream

Who am I to be TALENTED?

I vividly recall attending church service Sunday after Sunday, anticipating the latter part of service where my pastor would call for those desiring salvation, prayer, or just a simple, encouraging “word from God.”  And every Sunday I attended church, expecting a “WORD STRAIGHT FROM ZION”.

My spirit yearned for my Apostle (or some other spiritual leader) to relay to me, a message straight from the mouth of God, proclaiming,  “Gawd said that He has mighty works in store for you, He said that if you just submit to Him (something that I was more than willing to do), then He would use you to reach his people.”(In my Southern Baptist Preacher Voice)  I wanted to HEAR God convey to me that I was destined for greatness.   Every Sunday I left disappointed.  It never happened. 

I recall sitting in anticipation as my Apostle would purposefully scan the congregation, in search for what I imagined was a big flashing neon

arrow

pointing down at the people for whom God had a profound word.   I would bow my head and earnestly wait for my Apostle to pull me from my chair to relay to me God’s message. Again, I left disappointed, but only after hearing what God had in store for Susan, Jane, Jim, Tabitha, Randy and Samantha, never receiving specific instruction or direction for myself.  

My small mind could only surmise that because this man never saw anything in me, (or at least ever made any mention of it) and because he was presumably a vessel whom God uses to communicate His thoughts and ideas to His people, that maybe, just maybe, God had not imparted greatness in me. 

I further concluded that the fire that burned so intensely in my heart and spirit would eventually have to become a dwindling flame.  After all, who was I to step before God and feed the flame that burned internally so that it engulfed my entire being? (Who the heck was I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?)  Who was I to live MY dreams? 

 I rationalized by explaining to myself that in order to balance the “circle of life”, some were meant to live mediocre lives; while others---the ones with the flashing neon arrows above their heads-- would live an abundant, fulfilling life.   

Discouragement and defeat eventually consumed my thoughts.  Hopelessness and nothingness annihilated my dreams, and I smothered the fire that at one time fueled my drive to divinely and supernaturally  break the cycle of mediocrity, low self esteem and poverty that plagued my family & SO MANY of our communities.   

However, years later, through a simple Youtube video made by ET The Hip Hop Preacher, I would discover that although I had attempted to extinguish that internal fire... little burning embers were left, scattered about in my heart, my spirit and my soul that would eventually reignite, causing a blazing inferno of hopes, dreams and aspirations to take over my very essence...  Like a raging wildfire, this sea of flame would become seemingly impossible to douse.  

 So, here I am today, chasing after my dreams. The very Bible that I stand upon says that I was made in the image and likeness of God.  To be clear, the Bible describes God as a CONSUMING FIRE, TRIUMPHANT OVER HIS ENEMIES, POWERFUL, UNIQUE and PREEMINENT.  In no way shape, fashion or form do these words indicate MEDIOCRE.  Thus, I was NOT created to be mediocre. 

Through prayer, reading and attentively listening to the Word, I can now hear God for myself and I NOW CHOOSE to ENCOMPASS the image and likeness of God! 

  I CHOOSE TO LIVE MY DREAMS AND CHASE MY DESTINY.

The Ultimate Hypothesis

Here recently, I have decided to embark upon a journey that, I suppose, will change my life forever.  I've been on this motivational kick for the last several weeks and heard Les Brown eagerly state that if you make a commitment to listen to motivational material everyday, read motivational books weekly and make a conscious decision to think positively, your life would drastically change. 

Me, being the inquisitive woman that I am, decided to take Les Brown up on this challenge.  So, for the next 6 months, I vow to start my morning off with some type of motivational material, continue to keep positive affirmations before me and fill my library with motivational material.  I will track my progress and any noticeable changes in myself on tumblr.  So, tomorrow begins DAY ONE!

My Hypothesis:

If I consistently expose myself to positivity, I will have no other choice but to exert positivity, resulting in a significant, life changing transition. 

IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING

We admire people with fame, status, influence and wealth. We hope, pray and dream of one day obtaining the same. We wonder WHY we aren't living the dream or why we haven't reached OUR goals while they're taking First Class Flights across the world, speaking/performing/singing at SOLD OUT events and LIVING THE GOOD LIFE. The difference between THEM and US is as soon as WE run into an obstacle, hit a road block or hear a NO we're ready to throw in the towel, while THEY continue to push forward DESPITE one, two or even three failures... What WE don't realize is THEY may have FAILED their way to SUCCESS... #learnfromyourfailures #pow #youdontgetit #itwentoveryourhead #keeppushing #dontgiveup #donttakenoforananswer

Paradigm Shift

Honestly, I don't know when the transition occurred. For so long, because of erroneous impartations, fallacious teachings, and destructive learned habits, I thought that my future had been predetermined... that I was not capable of shaping my own destiny. However, after a paradigm shift,

(I'm not sure at what point this occurred, maybe in one day or maybe even over a period of weeks or months) my eyes were opened, and I was enlightened by the idea that there had to be more.  I realized that the very same God that meticulously shaped every corner of this beautiful celestial body called Earth, the very same God that created something out absolutely NOTHING... dwells within me. I therefore concluded that I HAD to be capable of GREATER WORKS. Further, I realized that the very same creative powers possessed by this Almighty God are also possessed by little old me. Thus, my transformation/transmutation into my designed form began. Let me be clear, I have not reached this "designed form" and have a painstakingly, long journey ahead before "arriving." My road to personal development thus far has been a winding one, inundated by yield and stop signs, sharp turns, sudden stops, road blocks, dead ends, detours, and construction zones. It has been one of the most difficult, yet most fulfilling journeys I have ever embarked upon; and needless to say, quitting often appears very attractive. However, because I keep the end goal in mind, I am determined to continue to push forward no matter how tough this journey becomes. For it is during these difficult times that we experience the most significant growth. At times when we seem to be overwhelmed by turmoil and conflict is when we are stretched beyond ourselves and become that much closer to reaching our maximum potential.

Love Does Hurt...

I disagree with that statement "love doesn't hurt". No, love is not physically or verbally abusive, but it DOES hurt.

Those who have the truest and deepest love for me (i.e. mother and father) hurt me the most in that they've told me things that I didn't necessarily want to hear.

They've told me things such as, "Your attitude sucks! Change it", "You really should work on becoming more organized", "Stop chasing after those little boys, they don't care about you." , "Turn that TV off and read a book.", "You need to be praying.", "He/She is not good for you, they're just using you.", etc. Those things hurt... they hurt my feelings and they hurt my pride.

You see, I believe that those who truly care tell us things that hurt our feelings...that we really don't want to hear.  They do so because they have our very best interest at heart, believe it or not.  They hurt us--because they know what it is we need in order to become the GREAT and PHENOMENAL versions of ourselves --- the version of ourselves that were were CREATED to be!!!

Fulfillment Costs an Arm and a Leg... Literally!!!

So, as I was going about my normal routine this morning I took a second to stop and watch the local news, which featured an ex-marine who lost both his legs and an arm during combat. 

Upon first glance, I assumed this was going one of those stories that tugged at my heart strings, causing an endless stream of tears to sympathetically flow.  However, the experience was to the contrary. 

Nicholas Kimmel---or Nick for short--- is full of life, hope, energy and passion.  He is relentless in his pursuit for adventure and a good ole adrenaline rush.  Since losing three limbs, Nick has fearlessly wrestled an alligator, kayaked across untamed waters, courageously jumped from a plane, is studiously learning to play the piano and regularly surfs.  College is his next endeavor.  

As I think about Nick and all of his extraordinary feats, I ponder on my own life, and can't help but wonder, "What the hell is keeping me from living out my dreams? What's preventing me from doing what I love? What stands between me and living a completely fulfilled life?"  Then I realize the answer is, "Me and my lame excuses". 

Now, ask yourself that very same question--What is preventing YOU from living a COMPLETELY FULFILLED and TOTALLY AWESOME LIFE?--  REALLY think about the answer. Then.... GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY!!!

Claim it, Name it...THEN GO GET IT!

Do you lack confidence? Self esteem? Courage?  Do you desire any (or all) of the aforementioned things?  Are your desires for these things expressed in your petitions and prayers to our Heavenly Father AND are you waiting to see the fruition of God’s promises of these things?  Though God is very much able to GIVE us the desires of our hearts, I truly believe that the manifestation of said desires is contingent upon our own hard work and genuine effort.  If you want confidence, challenge yourself!  What about self esteem?  You need to start believing in YOURSELF!  How about courage?  Face those fears and hidden demons!   Want success?  Take a leap of faith. While God is capable of doing exceedingly, abundantly and above all we can ever ask or think, He will not step off of His Throne of Grace and leave Heaven and smack you on your forehead to impart all the things that you lack!  He will however, meet you as far as you are willing to go.  If you take two steps, God will equip you to supernaturally take the next two.  Don’t just sit around, waiting for your “blessings” to fall from the sky; because in all likelihood, you’ll be waiting forever!  The church teaches that faith operates on a “name it and claim it” premise, leaving out the most important principal:  GO GET IT!!!!  That’s right, Name it, Claim it and GO GET IT!  (Prepare for it, research, save, enroll in a class, exercise, eat right, practice, repeat, challenge, stretch yourself, read, write, listen, learn, etc.)  In other words, make some type of forward motion toward your desired blessing (which you have already claimed your stakes to).  Remain consistent, persistent and determined; then and only then will the blessing will fall into your lap! Peace and Blessings! ~ineffalbebeauti

Raging Flames ::

See, my tears are gasoline that my words ignite, Fired off by rage, Haphazardly setting my pillows ablaze…, …W/a contrite heart I abashadly gaze, As my world is engulfed, consumed by those raging flames… flames that leave my burning yearnings unfulfilled, catapulted by jolts of devoured anger - subdued in my own tears - fears and hallucinations - reflections in the mirror; but wait.. it’s just me backwards so I’ll take back words and move forward. My heart melted when I heard those four words… I LOVE YOU, TOO ~Ineffablebeauti 

:: It's better to have loved and lost ...

... than to never have loved at all

I guess ...

Untitled ::

Unfamiliarity is as familiar to me as the sight of my own reflection

An image I too often analyze in search for flaws, deficiencies and what I now know as

Divine Imperfections

And certainly, uncertainty consumes my mind and takes over my thoughts like the remnants of a nasty viral infection

So knowingly, however, reluctantly I give into my thoughts of doubt--sending me spiraling into a spiritual and emotional depression

Progressively surrendering to the strategic tactics of the Father of Darkness--

The Master of Deception

Absent mindedly forgetting that he had a hit out on me even before my own conception

However, not forgetting God--He is with me at all times ---omnipresence

Past, Present and future

I felt walked on and talked about even thrown (like a rag doll)

Drugged through life as though I had no existence

But I prove my resistance

By Pondering and mediating on Hebrews 15:5 and 6

He shall never leave nor forsake me

He has taken me beneath is wing

Through pain, suffering

Lies and Confusions

Delusions and turmoil

But I digress and rest and give it to my father

I will lift my hands in praise

and vow to worship Him now, forever and always. 

Authentic!!!???

I've been called authentic a time or two ... or three or four in my lifetime... I have still yet to know exactly what that means ... 

::..in this Peculiar Place... *A Snippet*

... Unfamiliarity is as familiar to me as my own reflection ...

&& Certainly Uncertainty infiltrates my mind, consumes my thoughts...

and multiplies ---

Like a Nasty Viral Infection ...

My heart

Dear Boaz ::

Dear Future Husband, Though you and I have probably never met, I just want to let you know that I promise to love you unconditionally. And even though I KNOW you'll probably pluck my last nerve at some point, as I probably will yours, I promise to maintain the utmost respect for you.

Your visions will always be important to me, and I will make it my duty as your wife to support those visions, and help you bring them to fruition. Furthermore, I promise to follow you as you follow Christ! I can't promise you that things won't get difficult, I can't promise that I won't get frustrated, but I will promise that no matter what, I will put in maximum effort to make sure that our relationship lasts!

Future Husband, I don't expect you to be perfect, and I won't expect the impossible from you, but I do expect you to reciprocate unconditional love, and I do expect that Christ's love for His church will be exemplified in our relationship. But .... until we do meet, I will allow God to work, molding me into the epitome of a virtuous woman, so that when we do meet, you will have NO DOUBT that I am your Ruth ... Signed, A Virtuous Woman in the Making

Falling For Love Fast ::

In a Manner so Quick To the Naked Eye

Our two collide Now we’re Laying Here Falling Just You and I

We Stumbled Upon Love Bumped Our Heads on Fate Had me at Hello,

the very first date

Inspired by what I see and in tune to what I hear

Falling for love fast, You completely erased my Past

Intertwined Mentally

Entangled Intellectually

Captivated by the other’s mind Breaking all rules,

Transcending the Parameters of time

See you are who was on my mind The hours of the sunset To the minutes before sunrise

The love I once longed to share, I can no longer disguise.

Hypnotized by his fragrance Melting at his touch

Taking the bull by the horns Indulging in the romance and such

Never can give too little Impossible to give too much ….

Refusing to count the seconds of the minutes of the hours of each day

Falling for love fast Enjoying one another in every way

So possibly it is possible to get Together with our hands holding Cause I never seen you coming But with you is where I want to be going…

Falling in Love Fast

…written by him & I

:: Do not Awaken Love ...

... Until She So Desires ::

       ~Song of Solomon 2:7

My heart loves who it loves, no matter the time or distance that separates it.

I've always loved hard, loved with loyalty and loved with respect ... only to receive heartache in return.  You see, I awakened love (or what I thought was love) before it's time, which resulted in hurt, pain and me building a wall around my heart that can be demolished only by true, pure, patient, unadulterated, unconditional love.  

So, for now, I will let love sleep ... until a time when she is ready to awaken, rested, refreshed and ready to take on the world.

~ineffablebeauti

~Untitled

Days out here seem to all resemble one another

Nights are soo lonely, that my inner fears are the ones

That I cuddle with, No cover.

See it’s cold when I need warmth

And warm when my hearts cold

Been around for some time

Even when I’m strong

It seems like I’m strongly losing my mind

As I fade I am reminded of the gifts I left home

My heart lies in some hands

And those hands, you happen to own

Since day one, we have grown

You have been you and I have constantly been me

So even when we are separated by 7 seas

You continue to have this special part of me

Inspiration is what you have given

Motivation is what I teach

Because it is the only way, I keep my goals in reach

Never shall I perish, without giving a hard fight

You should really know

That you have a big impact, ON MY LIFE

  - MY THOUGHTS OF YOU-

by: Him <3

Poems ::

My Poems Haiku--- Love & Seasons Snow falls beautiful How lovely, seasons soon change Joy's now in the sun J.C.I'm not claiming to be al l High and mighty Nor am I living perfectly But J.C. (Jesus Christ)IS the Epitome of Perfection And well... He does live in me I know of the beauty of his Grace and His Mercy He loves unconditionally forgiving, exceedingly AND Abundantly Unlike man, He does not abuse Me Physically, Verbally...Not even Mentally J.C. does not envy And He accepts Me for Me! His love is beauty And is reflected in me His name is J.C.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. [Romans 8:28]

Black&White ::

Storyboard of MY life, Meticulously outlined-discernible boundaries; Every stroke-strategically contrived; Parameters sketched w/in the confines of moral standards; Obscured, however by varying shades of grey, tinges of charcoal and pigments of slate. Life only exists in black and white?! O_o

@thoughts_of_a_grown_Shan

;-( ::

Random Thought: Self is my worst enemy; Sin, my former best friend; But when I met Jesus; Sin got jealous and felt neglected... So yeah...that relationship came to an end...

Confession Booth ... ::

CONFESSION BOOTH: Truth be told, like thumps in the night, im kinda like frightened by you. Cuz im really kinda diggin u... Like my body on lonely nights, im really feelin u But like dumb insecurities, im really kinda intimidated by you... Cuz im really like diggin u... So honestly, I kinda like hold back from you... Giving u only a snippet of my endless possibilities Something like a sneak preview.... im really kinda holdin bk from you Cuz im really kinda diggin u... Confession booth... 

I must humbly bid you ADIEU ::

Dear Past, 4 the past several years, u have had somewhat of a significant influence on my thoughts && actions. I recklessly allowed u free reign over my decisions, subsequently relinquishing control to u. U kept me in a lonely box, with no one to turn to. Not because people have betrayed or deceived me, but because u have distorted my reality into a false sense of self-hate, self-isolation &&self-condemnation, eventually convincing me I could trust no one &&that the world was against me. Past, I regretfully inform u that I am aware of ur efforts to keep me bound && of ur attempts to prevent me from realizing && reaching my maximum potential. U caused me to close myself to the world &&from people who genuinely care about me, forcing myself into a corner &&repeatedly replacing the shackles on my arms &&feet that I continuously labor to break free from. Mr. Past, u fabricated lies about who I am. U brain washed me into thinking that my identity needed validation by those who matter least. U also attempted to steal my God-given identity to toss it in a bottomless pit.

The times I realized I needed to move beyond u, u attempted to convince me that I was delirious, and that our relationship was everything BUT abnormal and unhealthy.  Like an abusive spouse, u deceived me into thinking that leaving u would leave me hopelessly lost, and I'd be an insignificant soul without u. Ur ulterior motives were to HURT me, DESTROY my dreams, CONSUME my happiness, EXTINGUISH my joy, BREAK my heart and ANNIHILATE the very thing that keeps me sane. I'll admit Mr. Past, we had some good times. I often find myself re-visiting u, indulging in temporary, fleshly, self destructive gratification. BUT TODAY, I serve u notice, that u are no longer welcome.  However, before I say my final goodbye, Mr. Past, I would like to say THANK U! For without u, I would not be who I am today. Mr. Past u have opened my eyes to the good, forced me to live life to the fullest, laugh hard, &&enjoy every second of life I am blessed with. Mr. Past, u will no longer dictate my future becasue even BEFORE U, God knew me and had a plan for my life. "Before I [He] formed you [me] in the womb, I [He] knew you [me], before [I was] you were born I [He] set you [me] apart..." (Jeremiah 1:5 NIV) Moreover, I now am fully aware that I am God's "workmanship, created in Christ Jesus into good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them" (Ephesian 2:10) &&that the weapons of our [my] warfare are [is no longer] not of the flesh, but mighty before God to the casting down of [your] strongholds! (2 Corinthians 10:4) I have the authority to cast uu down, allowing me to live the abundantly happy life through Christ Jesus (John 10:10). I am NOT inferior because I was made in the image and likeness of my Father, God. (Genesis 1:26) So, Mr. Past, this is goodbye. I know u will attempt to show your nasty little head as I walk in my God-given purpose and destiny. Mr. Past, I am moving forward &&leaving you behind. I will re-visit u. However, it will not be to indulge in those self-destructive behaviors like before, but I will re-visit u to assist others free themselves from ur bondage!

This is goodbye and good riddance!

Sincerely,

Neisha

My GAWD! ::

How can one deny the presence of God, when His existence is personified in the very essence of nature. The breath of God is felt as the wind gently caresses the outline of your face. His Tears and Pain is embodied in the rain that tap, tap, taps lightly on your window pane.  God's beauty is put on display on a winding county road, framed by trees covered in varying shades of orange, yellow and deep red. God's grace, mercy and forgiving heart is evidenced when winter transitions to spring and blooming flowers have a second, third, fourth chance at life...again!  God's anger is heard from miles...upon miles away when crashing thunder and crackling lightening awakens you form your peaceful slumber. God's smile is felt when the warmth of the summer sun presses gently upon your cheeks during a midday stroll. You accidentally hearken upon his laughter when you crack your window only to stumble upon the chirping of bluebirds. His caress; felt in the warmth of your morning shower; purifying... a feeling that remains with you throughout your day.

Have you Ever? ::

...Hand an "aha" moment ?

...You know that moment when you realize that everything that you EVER thought was right, is actually so FAR beyond WRONG. -- That moment  you realize that though you shine bright as newly refined gold, everything that shines and glitters AIN'T gold. --  That moment you realize that in order to find love, you have to STOP looking.--  That moment you realize that EVERYTHING that you had EVER been taught about life was FAULTY and ERRONEOUS.--  That moment you realize that you may not be as GREAT of a catch that you portrayed yourself to be and that there is so MUCH room for IMPROVEMENT.--  That very moment you realized that though you will be rewarded for being SELFLESS, you must sometimes reward yourself by being SELFISH.--  That moment you realize that your parents aren't PERFECT and make mistakes, much like YOU.--  That moment you realize that your HAPPINESS is not CONTINGENT upon ANY person other than YOURSELF and that HAPPINESS is a CONSCIOUS decision.--  That moment you realize that NOTHING will ever be handed to you.-- That moment you realize that if you want CHANGE, you must be willing to CHANGE. --The moment you begin to ACCEPT you for you.--  The moment you realize that in ACCEPTING you for you, you are able to ACCEPT others for who THEY ARE. -- The moment you realize that you are but one GRAIN of salt amongst a GAZILLION OTHER GRAINS.--  The moment you realize that this life is NOT about you but about someone else.  The moment you realize that you are much STRONGER now than you were TWO YEARS AGO.--  The moment you realize that the UNIVERSE is so EXPANSIVE, so LARGE, so GINORMOUS and that there is an ALMIGHTY who is able to hold the ENTIRE UNIVERSE in the palm of his ONE HAND.--  The moment you RELINQUISH control to THE ALMIGHTY.  The moment you begin to LOVE.--  The moment you begin to LAUGH.--  The moment you begin to LIVE.--The moment you realize that FEAR is just a mere EMOTION,and emotions/feelings are FICKLE.--  The moment you begin to FORGIVE.   

Have you EVER had one of those "AHA" moments...?

Humbling, aren't they?

Untitled ::

Realities Unseen by Words Unspoken Desires unfulfilled leaving hearts tattered and broken Love never found and unwilling to stop looking Nights of meaningless flings from section "L" of her black book Unwanted advances, Followed by empty deeds. A void that remains Unfilled by her fleshly needs. Phony smiles painted on an empty shell A facades that only hides pain, hidden so well.......

Love Never Returned ::

…they say the love that lasts forever is love that is never returned…

I met a stranger one day, a  Coincidental encounter where our  would eyes to meet…

Evoking a cataclysmic act of God

Where time was stalled, Earth stood still and Simoultaneously,

Our breathing ceased…

BUT Only Momentarily

Somehow becoming hopelessly entangled in the others gaze,

While

Traveling into his mind, exploring my soul and instantaneously

Setting Our hearts ablaze

All the while marveling at this splendid sight standing before me

Conjuring up in our minds what we could be…

No, better yet what we should be….

Only to be sucked back into the ugly grasps of a horrid reality…

I would never know him, nor he would me

But in those few moments, I fell blissfully and hopelessly in love

I was happy with that because this thought occurred  

The only love that lasts forever is the love that is never returned…

The Wall ::

Last night I dreamed that you and I, along with a few others were constructing a wall Weird right? 11ft wide on all four sides... Since my ears are still full of the tears that I had cried the night before, And my throat sore, From screaming from a place of pain at God... I could only awake to conclude that the wall we meticulously erected..., was meant to border the parameters of MY HEART... ...no doors...                                                                                  ...no windows... no inlet...no outlet...

So what was there would remain And what was not could by no means enter Last night you helped me build a wall around my HEART....