Ed Disorder - Blog Posts

Current mood = Brown clouds

I just feel so super empty and numb today. I miss surfing. I miss my parents. I miss my old friends. I miss dancing. I miss falling asleep to k-dramas and walks to grams. I miss caring. ED... Why did you do this to me? I'm locked in a cage with you and I want to escape but without you... Without you I feel like I lose myself. Maybe I just hate myself. I hate this.

Current mood = Grey clouds

Why are all my friends skinny and I'm the only whale in the room? Why can they eat so much when they want and I'm still broken and struggling? Why me?

Current mood = Purple clouds

Why does my head scream at me? I know I'm stupid for eating 3 packets of crisps instead of just eating a salad today. You don't have to scream at me during sleep hours!

Here I am

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Just a 27yr old Aussie girl 🦘🇦🇺 living in USA 🏈🇺🇲

What do I say? I'm back on Tumblr after failing so hard. It's the only place I feel accepted and understood. That's me, just a girl trying to hold everything together 😿

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My stats

I'm fat. That's my stats.

Height/165 cm

SW/106 kg

CW/106 kg

UGW/50 kg

Wishful thinking GW/0 kg I don't even want a body.

At first, they joke about my weight, and then they worry about why I st@rve myself

I need some tips, how do you hide your ED around your parents?

Sometimes I feel like I’ve failed this community

guys I NEED new moots 😭 plsplsls is anyone active on March '24 plsolslsslets be moots I'm begging I miss the old days sm , I'm ftm, almost 17 and I NEEEEED new ed moots😭 someone to talk to ab stuff like this and other things toooo, no nsfw.

pls reach out <//3

I need to lose weight, I'm getting fat. Like what do you mean a bmi of about 21?!?!

I was able to skip lunch today.

Yay

Small steps

Do you people want to see my stats? It might be a push for me to get started again, because I've been slacking. Be free to leave any comment, doesn't matter what.

I'll start with my waist to chest ratio which is 0.86

Does anyone know what this means exactly

I want to know this as well. Can someone please help?

does anyone have tips for purg1ng for someone who has never done it -- advice for harm reduction + efficiency ~<3

Help guys I'm so fat. Look at those thighs, they take up a lot of space. Meanspo is very welcome, as you see I need it.

I've realized that counting calories doesn't really do much for me. I just simply cannot stop eating. Does any one have any other methods, or tips for me. They're all welcome no matter how extreme.

Don't report, just block, you're not helping trust me.

Pro for me not for thee

Guys I over ate as shit today. I ate over 500 kcal more than my max, which is 1000 kcal. I need to stop treating myself with food. I need to earn food, yes, but it's not a reward. It's a necessity which you need to earn. Enough to survive, no more.

I do need to say those chocolate eggs are so good though, I'm addicted. And why the fuck er the fuck is bread, meat and my dam coffee so high kcal why? And fruit too like why? My life is a lie.

Send me meanspo or questions please, I'm bored, need inspiration and it's fun. Requests are open too.

And pro for me not for thee

And don't report me, just block

You're not doing anything you're just irritating as fuck

That rhymes, and was the only reason why I said fuck in that sentence.

Me equals fat

Thanks for listening to this presentation

And remember pro for me not for thee

1298 kcal today. I really don't know what to say. I'm tired all the time, I don't know what to do with my life. I've got a lot to do, but I can't even do some of those. I enjoy life as well, if only I was different. If only my life would be different. But it isn't I have to life with that. I sometimes have sudden motivations for things, and other times I'm depleted of energy. My bike rides to and from school have been getting harder and harder. As is getting up and down the stairs.

I don't get why though, as I haven't been losing weight I think. So I don't know. Maybe some shit has finally caught up with me. I've been looking up against some things, like almost scared even. I've been sort of betrayed by now exfriends. Which I should have seen coming, we were to different. I can't really hate them though, I'm surprised I even have friends lol.

And sorry for the rant, but also kinda not sorry. I hope yall didn't read this shit if you weren't interested.

My birthday is almost though, so that's fun. Does anyone have an idea about what I should ask for my birthday?

Or does anyone have any other questions, or have any meanspo to share? Please send them.

I've eaten around 1267 calories today. Which is much less than yesterday, but still to much. Really I'm not really learning that going over my limit is a bad thing. Does anyone know how to fix that? Most help is welcome, especially meanspo.

Guys 1434 kcal today. I feel like a massive blob of fat. Like 1000 kcal is my limit, which still is a lot. So how hard can it be? I did take some fotos. Feel free to send meanspo to this fatass.

And remember: I'm pro for me, not for thee

Don't report, just block. You're not helping if you do, I'll just find another way.

Guys I'm far over my limit today. My limit is 1000 calories, which still is a lot. I ate around 1500 calories today. I just couldn't stop eating, I have no self discipline. Please send meanspo, I need it.

People and aliens, how do you stay disciplined? Like I know that I can do it, but I, at the moment, do not have the discipline.

Do you beings have any tips for a fat feeling being?

I need help. Like I can't really hide not eating at home, do yall have any tips for that? But my main question is, how do I feel better about throwing food away? I can't waste food, I feel terrible when I do it. I have multiple reasons, but do you people and aliens have any tips on how to deal better with it?

Guys can my boobs get less big when I lose weight? I want to keep my boobs 😭 they're already very tiny. Can I lose them? Pls guys I need help.

Why does bread have to be so high kcal? Why does any food I like have to eat be so high kcal? I'm ate around 1191 kcal today, which is over my limit ugh. Oh and why does my favorite coffee have to be 90 kcal a cup? Like why?

1268 kcal to day. Too much. I just don't have enough self control. Can yall send me tips and meanspo, I need it.

If you don't like this, please just block don't report. I know you think you're helping, you're not I'll just find another way. Thank you <3

Guys I almost did it, I ate about 1084 kcal today. Perhaps a bit more. That's almost below 1000 kcal. If I could just stop myself from eating so much.

Guys I also took some measurements, since I wanted to track my weight loss somehow. I don't have access to a scale.

I also posted fotos recently by the way

I'm about six foot, about 180/181 cm.

And I'm a almost sixteen year old girl.

So here are the measurements, I'm using the metric system btw. It's about the circumference/outline.

Neck: 28 cm

Chest: 79 cm

Left upper arm: 23 cm

Right upper arm: 23cm

Waist: 68 cm

Hips: 84 cm

Left thigh: 50 cm

Right thigh: 50 cm

Left calf: 34 cm

Right calf: 34 cm

So what's you guys thoughts? Pls send your thoughts, especially if they're mean.

Guys be careful off @persona-nongrata

I don't know for sure, but he messaged me and in the end he asked for my age, I told him my age and asked him for his. He said 26, he didn't say anything else but he didn't block me either. I blocked him to be sure. I'm pretty sure that he found my account through this side of Tumblr.

So possibly a creep, but to be honest I'm not completely sure.

Reasons I want to be thin !! -`♡´-

1. CLOTHES!! Everything would look so much better, plus I want to try out different aesthetics and see what I like the most

2. Taking up less space. Everytime i sit down I feel huge...

3. Jewelry! A necklace would look so good if you could see my collarbones, rings on my slim hand, a bracelet that is too big because my wrist is so small^_^

4. Confidence. I would be more outgoing if I wasn't so insecure :(

5. Dancing. When I reach my ugw I'm definitely going to become a dancer, aiming for more elegance than a hip hop vibe

6. Not sweating so much. I also love the feeling of being cold and I would be more often!

7.A boyfriend. I just don't feel confident in myself enough to have a boyfriend... I don't wanna bring somebody down with my own insecurities

8. THE COMPLIMENTS!! I want to hear that my family is proud of my weight loss, want to see my friends notice the work I put into losing weight

9. Eating with friends/ in public without feeling horrible about myself and the way I look.

10. Looking in the mirror and not being ashamed of what I see. Stepping on the scale and feeling proud instead of feeling regret. It would be the best feeling ever!

Writing this so I remember that if I put in the work, this list will be reality☆

Never waste money on food. Spend it on something that will give you happiness for more than just an hour!