Latest Posts by undeadguy - Page 2

Guide to Figuring out the Age of an Undated World Map.

oh man i hate this part *starts screaming in pain as i begin to pull a spear out of the pocket dimension in my eye*

i think it's great when someone tries to pull off a tragic self-sacrifice in a story and there's at least one guy who's just like "no this is fucking stupid actually. you're an idiot." about it. because it kind of is. i love a good tragedy but let's be honest with ourselves if a friend tried to indulge a noble sacrifice fantasy would you not be a little annoyed. like come on man.

my favorite part in attack of the clones is when obi-wan just fucks off to play space nancy drew on Clone Rain Planet with the alarming giraffe-necked aliens and swans in like “HELLO IT’S ME, the jedi who definitely… … was here before and probably, uh, spoke to you, and stuff” and theyre like “ah you are here for the order” and hes like “beg pardon” and theyre like “the order of millions of identical human men?” and hes like “RIGHT YES. ABSOLUTELY I AM HERE FOR THE ORDER OF MILLIONS OF IDENTICAL HUMAN MEN”

and then later when he SNEAKS INTO A CORNER TO FUCKING… facetime yoda… like “ok so we have these millions of identical human men who were apparently suspiciously ordered for us by someone???” and yodas fucking response is just “when countless sapient lemons life gives you…….. send those lemons into intergalactic battle you must”

 and obi-wan’s like “shit man you’re so right" 

Fact 1: In most versions of Dungeons & Dragons, when infected – as opposed to natural-born – lycanthropes transform under the full moon, they assume the default alignment of their type during the ensuing mindless rampage.

Fact 2: In most versions of Dungeons & Dragons, the default alignment of werebears is Lawful Good.

Conclusion: When an infected werebear transforms under the full moon, they go on a mindless Lawful Good rampage.

Every year I'm like. Surely there can't be MORE meme cats this year, we've had to of run out of new unique faces by now. But then I see a new configuration of gods creation

I Will Wait For You At The Challenger Deep

i learned that there's a Japanese beetle that when eaten by a frog will haul ass through its digestive system and escape out the back end unscathed (x)

One thing that pisses me off is people seeing fish in aquariums (the establishments, not home aquariums) and being like “It’s so sad because the ocean is so big and the tank is so small and they’ll never know freedom blah blah blah-“ I’m not talking about sharks and marine mammals here but the majority of fish are not at all bothered by being in an aquarium instead of the open ocean. Like, I personally would love to be a little clown fish in one of those big reef tanks. Fed regularly. Whole team of people monitoring my health and well-being. No predators. Medicated if I show signs of illness. Aquarium fish have cushy gigs in comparison to their wild companions.

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

the first early hominid to make use of metaphor or allegory must have blown the others away, "your actions will have consequences... just like a tree has fruit!" WOOAHHHH holy shit guys did you catch that

You wrote about murder?? Murder is illegal?? You wrote about this dude killing someone and you didn’t even say ‘murder is bad’ at the start of the book, wht wtf, wtf is wrong with you? I can’t believe you condone murder, I can’t believe you’re pro murber, oh my fucking God don'ttalk to me when ou literally kill people, freak. I’m calling the cops, what the fuck, I’m shaking and crying.

“Oh my god you’re a writer? Can I read your stuff?”

i'm literally begging people to relearn how to use earbuds and headphones. i don't wanna hear your fucking tiktok while im waiting for my flight.

Don't forget to sleep on your neck at a weird angle tonight. I love you

men literally love dying on doomed sea voyages it’s so so cruel to keep them from dying on doomed sea voyages

Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Kills you. Resurrects you. Are we still friends.

baby me, sorting m&ms by color and then into a gradient: now this is how you have fun!

love the genre of tumblr posts that start out "DESTROY THE MYTH THAT" followed by something you've never heard any human being say

The best time to have planted a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. Did you plant one 19 years ago? You may as well just go fuck yourself

🕉.

god dammit. every single short horror story audiobook thing on youtube is always titled the same fuckin way

but you know what. i wannna know whats near tower 14

lil 16 page zine that i made at the coffee shop this weekend! a sort of pick your path style mini game, because i love wizards + interactive fiction. hope you get out of the wizard dungeon!!

everyone shut up ive been struck by the simple beauty of ordinary life

I can't waste any time

“I want to decompose in a bog” well you clearly don’t know the first thing about bogs. Clout chaser