Latest Posts by undeadguy - Page 3

bugs are always getting into something they shouldn't

laptop: PLEASE place me on a hard surface that does not obstruct my cooling fan I am begging you

me: shut up we are going to snuggle in bed :)

behold the most moving voice acting of all time

when i say “that reminds me” & theres zero connection you just have to take my word for it theres no time to explain

your girlfriend told me that she thinks my takes are way more nuanced than yours. yeah she thinks you can’t get past surface level interpretations and she’s leaving you for my analysis. sorry

hey um. your boyfriend turned into the thing he swore he’d destroy. yeah. no he didnt make it. sorry

oh! i should totally tell them about- *glances at my "am i being annoying" meter in the corner of my vision* ...i often find such peace in silent reflection 😌

Amen to that little dude

Its me qtip don’t listen to them boy put me in your ear

So fucked up that we dont use gourds for shit anymore. Imagine if you could buy water by the Gourd instead of by the shitty feable plastic bottle. Id be so hydrated

"I only wanted to bring you joy."

"And you did. You gave me such terrible, terrible joy."

-Pinochio (2022)

Hey yall. I'm not going to be okay. This line hit me like a hammer.

drink my concoction boy

he lets me hit bc i say shit like ‘alas’

i call my parents and say ‘yeah i can’t do family stuff tonight, i got too much stuff to do for school’ and i e-mail my professor and say ‘i can’t do my assignments tonight, work got crazy’ and i text my boss and say ‘sorry i can’t work late tonight, i gotta some family stuff’ and through this triangulation of deceitful excuses i at last will be free

People who see pics of like those fucked up deep sea fish and creatures and go "omg I'm never going swimming in the ocean again 😰😰😰" calm down. They're 5000 feet below where you are and also i went down there and none of them even knew you. Leave them alone bitch

Just ate an entire pear that was so good and so juicy i started gnawing on it with both hands like an animal and the face my supervisor made when he passed by my desk while I was absolutely consumed by my pear fueled bacchanal was Something i have never seen someone look so tired and also so upset and also also so envious

heard porn bots might be following you guys again. sorry about that. but in some good news i have been gaining many new followers who are real stunningly beautiful women. welcome ladies :)

gotta admit, I'm impressed with their dedication to the bit

emailing is a blood sport and i just won first kill

Wow, Guillermo del Toro really said You know what my animated kid's musical needs? Catholicism. War. Death. Alcoholism. Fascism. Frankensteinian undertones. A haunting meditation on mortality and grief. Cate Blanchett making monkey noises. And he was so fucking right

You show a cat something and they're like sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff ooooh I understand now. Don't care

but can this ai "generate" you some bitches? lol.

hi i am completely mentally stable and normal about certain media

sorry professor i did not do this asisgnemtn becuase i was too sad! NO consequences please. goodbye

I wondered how the Guillermo del Toro adaption of Pinnochio was going to do the Blue Fairy, and oh. Oh wow.

Oh wow.

Going to need this guy's lawyer

One of the most important things I have learned today..

its okay dude im not becoming evil muhaha. sorry i mean haha. dont know what happened there muhaha. sorry i mean