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Tid Gang - Blog Posts
Imagine not praying to James Carstairs every night... couldn't be me 🙏🏼
Will: Octopi could hug four people simultaneously, because Raziel bless them with the ability to do so. However, they don’t hug even one person because they made a covenant with the devil. Any questions?
Matthew, raising his hand: Where’s Lucie? I just wanted to visit her-
Will: In a better place, now sit down immediately.
Will: I didn’t do it
Jem: Then why are you laughing?
Will: Because whoever did it is a freaking genius
Group: *arguing*
Will: Calm down, you idiots wanna hear my plan or not?
[silence]
Will: That’s what I thought. So, make suggestions.
Tessa: But we thought you had a plan?
Will: MY plan is to crowdsource a plan, now it’s your turn
Will [every time he’s broke]: I’d be an amazing prostitute
Will: How do you always know when I’m sad?
Jem: Well, you look sad and you haven’t said anything mean to Gabriel for like 3 hours.
Jem: Oh, and you’re wearing a button that says “I’m sad, ask me why.”
Charlotte: Will, the assignment was to bring something important to you
Will: Yes, and I did!
Charlotte: I meant an object, not Jem
Jem: You’re right
Will: That’s… that’s an unusual phrase for you, my beloved parabatai. Did you just learn it?
Jem: You didn’t let me finish
Will: I had a hunch
Gabriel: Just be casual, try some light flirting
Gideon: Got it
*later*
Sophie: Nice work out there, high five!
*high fives Gideon*
Gideon: *intertwines fingers*
Sophie: what-
Gideon: I am in love with you :3
Will: I really just keep getting prettier, it’s kind of alarming.
Will: In a couple of years, it’ll be impossible to look directly at me, I will be so pretty
Jem: Your stupidity simply goes too far
Will: THEN BUCKLE UP CAUSE I’M ABOUT TO GO FURTHER
Any main TSC couple:
Magnus:
TSC books: A summary
Gabriel: Has anyone seen my wife?
Stranger: What does she look like?
Gabriel: Well, she has black ha-
Cecily, from a tree: BEAUTIFUL
Will: I’d like to phone a friend
Game show host: I haven’t asked you the questions yet-
Will: I know, I just miss Jem already
Gideon at 2 am: Sophie, wake up so we can discuss our love for each other
Sophie: By the angel, I love you so much!
vs.
Tessa at 2 am: Will, if you want to discuss how to exterminate all ducks on earth for good I’m leaving you.
Tessa: I wonder where we will be in twenty years
Will: Dead
Tessa: Let’s think positive!
Jem: We will all have a nice house-
Will: … 6 feet under ground
Will, rolling down the car window: What seems to be the problem, officer?
Cop: Get the FUCK out of my car!
Charlotte: Let’s spice things up
Henry: But I’m allergic to chilli
Charlotte: I meant in the bedroom
Henry: It doesn’t matter in what room we eat, Lottie, I’m still allergic to chilli
Gabriel: Did you know you stole something from me when we met yesterday?
Cecily: Sorry, I’ll return your wallet.
Gabriel: You stole my hea- wait, you did what?
Jem: I just wish you would admit that you made a mistake
Will, stirring salt into his tea: No, I like it like this!
Will: You need a hobby
James: I do have a hobby!
Will: Well, being angsty and sad isn’t a hobby!
Matthew from distance: It isn’t?!
Will: [pours salt in Jem’s tea]
Jem: [sips tea]
Will:
Jem: [finishes tea]
Will: … didn’t the tea taste weird?
Jem: Well, yes. But I didn’t want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.
Will, tearing up: Okay
At a restaurant
Cecily: Hey, are you single?
Gabriel, blushing: Y- Yes, I am.
Cecily: [takes away the extra chair in front of him]
Cecily: Thanks
Christopher: I’m scared
Gabriel: Your mom said to go to bed.
Christopher: But there’s a monster under my bed!
Gabriel: Is it scarier than your mom?
Christopher:
Christopher: *goes back to bed*
Will: I found James. He was sleeping while training again.
James: I wasn’t sleeping, someone drugged me!
Will, turning around to Tessa: Cancel that, he was doing drugs.
Jem: Ok, Will, I know you mean well and everything, but please stop being a little bitch. We need to work together!
Will: Will do. But only if you take off your shirt for me.
Jem:
Jem: Weird flex but okay
Tessa: You are an ADULT, Will. It’s your job to keep our children from making stupid decisions like this!
Will: That is true…
Will: … but I was also really curious to see how many donuts James and Lucie can eat in one minute.
Will: [Pulls out a knife]
Jem: Oh no.
Will: [Opens a box with it]
Jem: Oh, okay.
Will: [Pulls another knife out of the box]
Jem: Oh no!
