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William Owen Herondale - Blog Posts
Will: Octopi could hug four people simultaneously, because Raziel bless them with the ability to do so. However, they don’t hug even one person because they made a covenant with the devil. Any questions?
Matthew, raising his hand: Where’s Lucie? I just wanted to visit her-
Will: In a better place, now sit down immediately.
Kit: Hey, hey, hey
Ghost!Will: Kit, stop it, I’m serious-
Kit: I’m dancing on your bridge!
Ghost!Will: Just listen
Kit: fuck yOU goat man!
Group: *arguing*
Will: Calm down, you idiots wanna hear my plan or not?
[silence]
Will: That’s what I thought. So, make suggestions.
Tessa: But we thought you had a plan?
Will: MY plan is to crowdsource a plan, now it’s your turn
Tessa, at the beginning of CA: The two of you have gone through a lot together. You really trust each other, don’t you?
Jem: Will likes to say he trusts me as far as he can throw me.
Will: It’s true!
Will: *grabbing Jem*
Jem: Wait-
Will: *yeets Jem full force across the room*
Will: It’s a joke of course, I can’t throw him far enough.
Will, narrowing his eyes: Yet
Will [every time he’s broke]: I’d be an amazing prostitute
Jem: You’re right
Will: That’s… that’s an unusual phrase for you, my beloved parabatai. Did you just learn it?
Jem: You didn’t let me finish
Will: I had a hunch
Jem: Your stupidity simply goes too far
Will: THEN BUCKLE UP CAUSE I’M ABOUT TO GO FURTHER
Jem: Well, I did warn you
Will: Yes
Jem: But did you listen?
Will: No
Jem: Do you ever listen?
Will: No
Jem: Are you listening now?
Will: … no
Jem: Are you staring at my arse right now?
Will: N- yes
Jem: …
Will: In my defense it’s a nice arse.
Tessa: Hey, do you have a bag I can borrow?
Will: The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes and they’re specifically designed to carry the burden of my entire existence.
Tessa: … literally all you had to do was say no.
Tessa: I wonder where we will be in twenty years
Will: Dead
Tessa: Let’s think positive!
Jem: We will all have a nice house-
Will: … 6 feet under ground
Will, rolling down the car window: What seems to be the problem, officer?
Cop: Get the FUCK out of my car!
Jem: I just wish you would admit that you made a mistake
Will, stirring salt into his tea: No, I like it like this!
Will: If anyone gives you any trouble, just tell them the fish don’t come knocking twice.
Jem: What does that even mean?
Will: They’ll know.
Jem: I highly doubt that.