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TID Heronstairs - Blog Posts
Cecily: Will is in trouble again!
Gabriel: Yeah, well, I broke my leg… what did he do?
Cecily: He hit someone with a car. How did you break your leg?
Gabriel: … sOMEoNe hit me with a car
Will, in the background: Lightworm, are you coming or not? I don't care, but I'm going to pay the Silent City a visit now, with or without you.
Will: I was BORN a winner! I didn’t even need nine months to be born, I came out in seven!
Jem: That’s… that’s not good…
Will: How do you always know when I’m sad?
Jem: Well, you look sad and you haven’t said anything mean to Gabriel for like 3 hours.
Jem: Oh, and you’re wearing a button that says “I’m sad, ask me why.”
Jem: You’re right
Will: That’s… that’s an unusual phrase for you, my beloved parabatai. Did you just learn it?
Jem: You didn’t let me finish
Will: I had a hunch
Jem: Your stupidity simply goes too far
Will: THEN BUCKLE UP CAUSE I’M ABOUT TO GO FURTHER
Will: I don’t think we thought this through very well…
Jem: I could’ve told you that ten fuck-ups ago.
Will: I don’t play favorites
[at the dinner table]
Tessa: Jem, can you pass the salt-
Will: Seriously, Tess! What the hell? You really have the audacity to doubt my beloved Jem’s ability to pass the salt? Let me tell you, James Carstairs is a GOD and he can do everything he sets his beautiful mind to, okay? Never let me hear you say such things again!
Tessa:
Jem:
Charlotte:
Church:
Will, sighing: I’m really sorry you had to go through that, Jem. Just so you know I’m here for you and I love you
*after a few dates with Cecily*
Gabriel: Gid, what do you think of Cecily?
Gideon: I think you should marry her, brother!
*later that day*
Gabriel: Well, I don’t know if I’ll regret this sooner or later, but I followed your advice and now I’m engaged to Will.
Tessa: Happy Birthday, Will! I got you a present!
*Jem walks through the door*
Will: OHMYGOD you got me JEM?
Tessa: No, no. It’s this book-
Will, through tears: HE’S PERFECT, TESSA, I LOVE HIM! Thank you!
Will: I’d like to phone a friend
Game show host: I haven’t asked you the questions yet-
Will: I know, I just miss Jem already
Jem: Netflix lied to me
Jem: I’ve never seen bad boy types protecting stray kittens revealing to me their soft side
Jem: It’s always me picking up the kittens.
Jem:
Jem:
Jem: Maybe I’m the bad boy
Sophie: I keep a portrait of Gid in my purse.
Gideon: Really? I have a portrait of you in my wallet!
Tessa: Aww, that’s cute. Will keeps a portrait of Jem.
Will: He’s just so damn beautiful.
Jem: Well, I did warn you
Will: Yes
Jem: But did you listen?
Will: No
Jem: Do you ever listen?
Will: No
Jem: Are you listening now?
Will: … no
Jem: Are you staring at my arse right now?
Will: N- yes
Jem: …
Will: In my defense it’s a nice arse.
Tessa: Hey, do you have a bag I can borrow?
Will: The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes and they’re specifically designed to carry the burden of my entire existence.
Tessa: … literally all you had to do was say no.
Gabriel: If you had to go on a date with anyone of us, who’d you choose?
Jem: No way
Tessa, blushing: I’m not answering that…
Will: Jem
Everyone: …
Will: oH- nO waY, i’M NoT anSweRinG tHat!
Tessa: I wonder where we will be in twenty years
Will: Dead
Tessa: Let’s think positive!
Jem: We will all have a nice house-
Will: … 6 feet under ground
Will, rolling down the car window: What seems to be the problem, officer?
Cop: Get the FUCK out of my car!
Gabriel: Did you know you stole something from me when we met yesterday?
Cecily: Sorry, I’ll return your wallet.
Gabriel: You stole my hea- wait, you did what?
Jem: I just wish you would admit that you made a mistake
Will, stirring salt into his tea: No, I like it like this!
Will: [pours salt in Jem’s tea]
Jem: [sips tea]
Will:
Jem: [finishes tea]
Will: … didn’t the tea taste weird?
Jem: Well, yes. But I didn’t want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.
Will, tearing up: Okay
At a restaurant
Cecily: Hey, are you single?
Gabriel, blushing: Y- Yes, I am.
Cecily: [takes away the extra chair in front of him]
Cecily: Thanks
Will: I found James. He was sleeping while training again.
James: I wasn’t sleeping, someone drugged me!
Will, turning around to Tessa: Cancel that, he was doing drugs.
Jem: Ok, Will, I know you mean well and everything, but please stop being a little bitch. We need to work together!
Will: Will do. But only if you take off your shirt for me.
Jem:
Jem: Weird flex but okay
Tessa: You are an ADULT, Will. It’s your job to keep our children from making stupid decisions like this!
Will: That is true…
Will: … but I was also really curious to see how many donuts James and Lucie can eat in one minute.
Charlotte: So, what do you think?
Will: I wasn’t even listening but I heavily disagree with Gabriel.
Charlotte: Gabriel isn’t even here
Will: You don’t understand, it’s my destiny to sacrifice myself, I deserve to die here if it means even the slimmest chance of stopping Mortmain from hurting anyone else.
Jem: If you live I’ll let you kiss me on the mouth.
Will: … on the mouth?