I Will NOT Binge This Week I Owe It To Myself. I’m Soooo Close To My Goal Weight I Can Feel It.

Okay literally no one is going to see this but I need to vent. TW for an @na related vent ig

Okay my last account got t-worded and like two weeks later my parents confronted me about my ED and have been making me eat a lot more. I got caught in a binge cycle for about two weeks where I’d fast for two days, binge, OMAD, then binge for three days. It was disgusting and easily one of my lowest points with this shit. I’ve just barely been able to break that and been going back to my regular workouts/fasting. Today I managed to sneak away from my parents to weigh myself on a public scale (no scale in house bc my parents are super fucking onto me about this) and I gained FOUR POUNDS. WTF. I’ve never gained more than like two pounds since developing an 3d, I feel so gross. Great motivation but I’m also SO scared for summer break when I’m around my family all the time. Just going to eat as little as possible, give me all your motivation PLEASEEE. Currently 107 lb or 48 KG, feel free to f@t sh@m3 me and shit like that.

DAY TWO of locking the fuck in again bc I have to lose at least seven pounds by summer 🗣️🗣️

Okay OMAD is still going well, I just wish my family didn’t pay so much attention. Also all the calories today are a little iffy bc a lot of this I couldn’t properly measure.

I ate three bits of pound cake bc I was forced to socially (about 40 cal) and Pad Kra Pao. TBH I have no clue how many calories that was. According to google it could be anything from 200-700+ cals. I’m thinking it’s on the smaller side bc my family uses NO spices but idk.

I was exhausted today (testing while starving is NOT for the weak aka me) so I only walked one mile and did a couple dance workouts. That should have burnt around 150-200 calories. Overall no matter how much the Pad Kra Pao was it was still a deficit, and I’m proud to have kept up these workouts/drinking more water. Tomorrow I have the day off school and I probably won’t be able to walk bc my mom started questioning me about it. She pretty much knows I have an ED so “overworking” myself via exercise will freak her out. Unless I could find a way to sneak around her but we’ll see. Here’s to not binging on my day off ✊

Me trying to finish a 30+ hour fast:

Okay so far this week OMAD is going well but 570 calories in one meal is ridiculous. Could be worse but still

I’m locking in for m@lnutrition may or whatever tf we’re calling it. I hate this stupid fucking weight I’ve put on I am so beyond depressed lately. I had a major performance today, it went great and all I can think about is that four pounds I gained while trying to reassure my parents that I’m not disordered. They know, I’m sick of gaining weight trying to make them think I’m not. I hate myself so much, I hate that I couldn’t enjoy my performance. I am getting to my goals if it fucking kills me idc

Restaurants that don’t include calories on their menus are my biggest opps fr

I was literally just thinking about this earlier but yeahhhh my original gw was 110 lb and I’m lighter than that now with a much lighter gw.

haha more memes because im definetly coping

Hey people I’m attempting recovery, so basically see y’all again in like a week and a half

I hate binging

it makes me feel sick and gross and ugly

when I eat too much I want the feeling to go away as fast as possible

Dear future me, please don’t ever binge